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Wedding woes

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Shedman, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    Try flying out from the otherwise lovely southend airport on a thursday evening or friday. Brits behaving badly, and largely unconstrained by cabin staff.

    Mortifying.
     
  2. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Morally reprehensible.
     
  3. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    He's from Mid-Antrim and she's from outside Athens. Traditionally the bride marries in her church before moving to attend her husbands church so we are going. There has been great family excitement at the prospect of going away.
     
  4. Laphroig

    Laphroig Lead commenter

    I can think of no justification for over the top weddings. It is one upmanship and shallowness on a grand scale.
     
  5. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    That's different, since the bride is from greece. Perfectly justifiable. But a friend of a friend's son decided on a whim to tie the knot in palawan and expected all the friends to go all the way to the philippines for five days. Ridiculous and selfish!
     
    Jamvic, racroesus, Shedman and 3 others like this.
  6. maggie m

    maggie m Senior commenter

    I think the most memorable and nicest wedding I have attended was that of two University friends. It took place in Wales. The Hen do if you could call it that was at her mum's house and included all the female friends a relatives from 8 to 80. We consumed excellent home made sandwiches, copious amounts of tea and made bunting for the reception. And we laughed alot. The ceremony was held in a little Chapel on an afternoon so warm the doors had to be left open. To the delight of the small bridesmaid a sheep wandered in. We laughed somemore. That marriage is still going strong.
     
  7. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter


    I'm assuming you are being ironic here - we are thankful our children lived with partners before considering marriage, otherwise we'd have one, perhaps two, divorces in our family.

    IMHO no-one should ever marry without having lived together first...
     
  8. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    It's even better when:
    • you hate dressing up
    • you are no longer married to the bride's father
    • the bride's father's new family is now extensive and all over the shop and the new wife has been pretty horrid to the bride and the bride really doesn't like her
    • you are seated at a table with your wife and mother
    • your mother doesn't want anyone to know that her daughter is a lesbian
    Yeah, it was joyful!
     
  9. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    I had no input into the guest list for the weddings of both my offspring. I didn’t expect to have. I think people who are marrying should have whatever kind of event they want. Equally, any recipients of an invitation should decide whether they wish to go to the wedding.

    It’s a cliche, but it’s an invitation, not a summons
     
  10. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    I made both my wedding cakes and dresses, that kept the cost down a lot, I've also made wedding and anniversary cakes for other family members. My first wedding was in a church and the reception at the RN shoebase where my Dad was. 2nd one was Eastbourne Registry office, reception at home catered by me. 1st marriage lasted 7 years, 2nd has lasted 37 years, however we had to get married as o/h was working for BFBS in Germany at the time and if we were married he got a free flat, foreign allowance for me and 3 more litres of d/f gin a month.
     
  11. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I just scratch my head.

    White? Like you're a virgin??? :D:D:D
    You've lived together for years. You don't need a toaster. You have one.
    You've lived together for years. Your family and friends have already acknowledged your union.
    You have kids. This is coming as news to absolutely nobody.

    So why?

    There can be only one reason. Showing off.
     
  12. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    We walked to the church as it was 100 yards up the road. Villagers always came out to wave at wedding parties if they weren't invited so it was lovely. Then we walked to the village hall for the reception. Then we walked back to my house for tea and cake and a game of cricket on the lawn. Then we left on our tandem and honeymooned in Wales. All absolutely perfect. All our friends who were staying for the wedding came out to the pub with us the night before, many of them being accommodated by people in the village who offered a bed or two. I made my own dress, as did my bridesmaids, and my sister played the organ. We've been married 33 years next week. It was the nicest day I could possibly have imagined.
     
  13. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    LOOK, Doitforfree, it its not on Instagram, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, OK?
     
  14. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    I thorougly enjoyed every minute of my wedding. I loved the tradition of it all. It was a modest wedding but I loved having all my friends and family around together, I loved the church where we were married, I loved wearing a pretty dress. I enjoyed having my hair and make up done-such a special treat. I enjoyed being thoroughly pampered for the day.It was an honour to make my vows to my lovely husband and have my friend's and family share in our happiness. It was a truly memorable day and we are still married 33 years on.We look at our photos and watch the video on our anniversary. Sadly, many people are no longer with us. A wedding is a very personal thing and it is up to the bride and groom what they want. We have been to Jewish weddings, Danish weddings and a Maori wedding. All maintained strong traditions. They were all very different but all lovely in their own way. .Im not interested in hen parties abroad-I didn't go to my friend's. She was fine about it. She still had a good time without me. I was pleased to be asked though. If you disapprove or don't want to go, then don't.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019
  15. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    In your opinion!
    If you can afford it, why wouldn't you want to get married in a beautiful place?
    If his friends can't afford to go out for the wedding or don't want to, then don't go. But it is the bride and groom's choice. And they can do what they want for their wedding. It's not up to anyone else to be so judgemental.
    My deputy head got married in Sorrento. Such a beautiful place. I didn't think" how selfish". It's their wedding and they had a wonderful time with lots of happy memories.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019
  16. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    That's fair enough, it becomes rather different when they decide that in order to make it very special for themselves that others need to spend large amounts of money too and jump through their specified hoops foregoing their own preferences despite paying a good deal for it.

    I think most people would feel that a wedding of a good friend or relative you have a strong connection to warrants a weekend of time and travelling up to a few hundred miles within the same country to attend depending on where you both live.

    Having to take holiday time and paying for the holiday yourself to go somewhere of someone else's choosing with a group they alone select (at least some of whom will be strangers) and maybe not being able to take your own partner/family on this holiday that will affect them in terms of what comes later is a different thing. To suggest doing this is at a level of audacity that many will find somewhat offensive, despite how special the couple want THEIR event to be.

    It's when it starts to disrupt the normal lives and plans of others and sucks money from their bank accounts in order to fulfill some egotistical "dream" that it becomes too much and of course, selfish.
     
  17. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I agree, Mangle. Sometimes, emotional blackmail and guilt-tripping is involved. My future DiL is a bridesmaid at these weddings in Santorini and Ibiza. They are good friends, and bridesmaids at her forthcoming wedding. She felt she couldn't refuse, without causing upset.
    They now have to fork out for very expensive flights, accommodation, outfits, gifts, food and drink for several days. Twice, within the space of a few months. Whilst trying to save up for their own wedding. It's affecting their finances and holiday leave at work.

    It's alright saying "just say no", but friendships are at risk. And comments on social media follow.

    And, yes, it is selfish. If you want a wedding abroad, then pay for your guests to go. And don't expect them to donate to it by asking for money, instead of gifts.
     
  18. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    I do think it becomes ridiculous when the (usually) bride insists that guests wear specific colours, or stay in a specific hotel, or any of the fripperies that seem to affect people when the word ‘wedding’ is mentioned.
     
    Jamvic, Lara mfl 05, Shedman and 6 others like this.
  19. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    If your "friendship" is at risk by not going, maybe it wasn't so much of a friendship in the first place.
     
  20. LondonCanary

    LondonCanary Star commenter

    Kinda makes marrying pointless other than for the financial benefits.
     
    Shedman and nizebaby like this.

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