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Wedding question

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by KS23, Jan 4, 2017.

  1. KS23

    KS23 New commenter

    My only brother has recently gotten engaged and plans to marry in January 2018. It has been hinted to me by members of my department that my head may not allow me the day off for it even though I would only need the one day. I've tried to read through the teachers terms and conditions online and I can't figure out if I'm entitled to the day. Another friend from another department has had a day off to move though, so these two stories seem conflicting. It's not until next year but I am wondering what to do: do I ask and risk a no? Am I entitled to one day off? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  2. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    One day off for moving is the normal entitlement. It is not normal to be entitled to a day of for a wedding. You can ask. If you are told no, you need to make a decision. I was refused permission to attend my father's wedding, and have regretted it ever since. Looking back, I should have gone, it was worth more than my job.

    Alternatively, say nothing, and take a day off sick
    Irumh, tall tales, wanet and 2 others like this.
  3. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    Tell your brother to get married on a Saturday, or at half-term/in the holidays.

    It's not rocket science! Doh!

    PS I never heard of a colleague getting (or even asking) for a day off for a wedding.
    JosieWhitehead, wanet, nomad and 3 others like this.
  4. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Your school should have a leave of absence policy. In it there will be laid down the criteria that allows an absence. Some of these will be with pay such as jury duty, reserved armed forces, school governorship, being a local councillor, medical etc. Others may be designated as paid or unpaid such as childrens' graduations, moving house etc. You could ask for the day off unpaid. I had a couple of these when I had some legal issues that needed me to consult with legal professionals. I also had one when Mrs B booked a holiday thinking we broke up on a Thurday when in fact it was a Friday. She wrote to the HT and asked for me to have a day off. I had to take it unpaid but I did get the day off. Get your sister to write to the HT.
  5. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    You're not entitled but most HTs of my experience would grant you a day paid or unpaid leave if you ask. There's only one way to find out...
  6. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    It's the school's policy for time off in term time that you need to look at. There are no national agreements that cover this, every school sets its own policy. There is no automatic entitlement to time off for a wedding. Most likely your school's policy says it's at the head's discretion so you'll have to ask the head at some point. I'd wait until a bit nearer the time though, certainly not before you know for sure when and where the wedding is.

    If refused bringing a grievance to governors is preferable to making a false claim for sickness. if the head discovered you'd been to a wedding when claiming to be sick you could be dismissed for gross misconduct.

    Usual advice to improve your chances of head agreeing is 'bring solutions not problems'. Explain how your timetable could be covered etc. Offer to take the day without pay.
    wanet, bevdex, palmtree100 and 3 others like this.
  7. jago123

    jago123 Established commenter

    With the wedding being a year away, you could submit a request in writing to the HT. A year is sufficient notice. Schools employ cover supervisors and / or have a pool of reputable supply teachers who could cover for the day. I've known teachers who have been granted a week off to attend a relatives wedding overseas.
  8. jago123

    jago123 Established commenter

    It's not entitlement, no., but it should be deemed as a 'special request'
  9. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Unfortunately it is in the nature of teaching that it is nigh impossible to take any time off during term-time.

    It's always better to request time off and offer for it to be unpaid due to 'special circumstances', but bear in mind if you are refused you must not then take a 'day off sick' to attend.
  10. sabrinakat

    sabrinakat Star commenter

    I asked for an afternoon off in December for my son's nativity. I mentioned in my request that a)I could move a year 12 class to a mutual free elsewhere, b) I would need cover for only 1 class. I mentioned a few other bits but essentially solved the 'problem' for them. I did also offer to take it unpaid (it was paid) I was granted my request. The look on my little boy's face when he saw Mommy and Daddy in the audience was priceless.

    Once you know the timings of the wedding, could you at least work that morning? Remember, present solutions to your request not just the request and don't mention others (it sounds whiney - but he/they got two days to move, etc!).

    Good luck!
    tall tales, freckle06, bevdex and 5 others like this.
  11. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Excellent succint advice. Any Head would appreciate being provided with a solution as opposed to a problem.

    Edit Just seen @sabrinakat's advice [​IMG]
  12. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    I also know a school where someone took a week off for a wedding on the other side of the world, and a school whhere no one was allowed an afternoon off to attend the funeral of their own HOD
  13. miranda-s

    miranda-s Occasional commenter

    I've heard of many occasions where staff have been permitted a day off for a wedding or other important event, but it does depend if you have a leadership team who recognise the benefits of fostering goodwill among staff and understand that making the occasional allowance like this will result in happier staff who are far more willing to go the extra mile at work. In my previous school, I was refused the afternoon off (even though I wasn't even timetabled to teach) to attend the funeral of a girl in my form who had died, and the students (6th form) were told that if they were absent on this day then it would be classed as truancy. I'd already been thinking about leaving, but this was the absolute last straw and I was applying for other jobs within the week.
  14. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    Just ask. Be honest. I wouldn't take a sickie-you will get found out one way or other .Could you offer to make the time up at some other time? I am fairly sure that my head would let me go, if I offered to swap my day, but having said that, I work part time, so that is easier to organise. Ask for unpaid leave if necessary. Good luck.
    les25paul likes this.
  15. modgepodge

    modgepodge Established commenter

    Just ask. 2 schools granted me leave to attend my sisters wedding (I asked a year in advance, on the grounds I'd leave if refused, it was granted, then I moved house and school anyway and the new school also let me go). I have also been allowed to leave an hour early to get a plane to another wedding. I've also requested a day for a cousins wedding in a few months. Lots of people in my school get time off for children's plays, sports days etc. Definitely suggest you find a way to make it work - swap PPA/management time, work out which TA is free and could cover etc.
    Lara mfl 05 and palmtree100 like this.
  16. MrsBee4812

    MrsBee4812 New commenter

    This is horrendous on so many levels!
    Dragonlady30 likes this.
  17. palmtree100

    palmtree100 Lead commenter

    Just shows how damaging data scrutiny (here it's attendance figures) has become.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  18. Billie73

    Billie73 Occasional commenter

    I was granted 4 days unpaid leave when my sister got married in Mexico. All you can do is ask.
  19. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    I did-lots. Many people marry 'off peak' because it's cheaper.
    les25paul likes this.
  20. les25paul

    les25paul Star commenter

    Why should non-teachers arrange their lives around the requirements of a school?

    The date should meet the needs of those actually getting married not the employer of a family member.
    KaelRott, peggylu, tennismum and 3 others like this.

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