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Wedding costs!!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by gemmamarie08, Apr 7, 2011.

  1. gemmamarie08

    gemmamarie08 New commenter

    Hi All
    Well, we have just got engaged this week and now looking to plan my wedding! Very excited!
    We'd love to get married next year, especially as my Nan who I'm very close to is ill and I desperatly want her to see me get married (I do realise its sort of beyond my control but she's doing well at the mo!)
    I want to get married in Church as I'm quite religious so that's a must. However, looking at reception venues eeek!!!! Some of the prices are ludicrous (we are near Oldham btw if anyone has any ideas).
    I just want a nice day with friends and family around. I'm willing to shop around for dress etc and MIL to be has offered to make the cake but we certainly won't be spending anywhere near the average (about £20,000).
    I know it's the getting married that's important but I would like a do after - has anyone had a nice day which didn't require a second mortgage? If so would you be kind enough to share ideas?

    P.S. I don't mean to offend people who spend lots - each to their own it's just we can't.
  2. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I know a friend's daughter is getting married at the Lowry Theatre and also looked at Gorton Monastery and that these were less expensive than some places they looked at, but I've no idea what they actually considered as affordable. The thing about Gorton is that it is a religious setting for the wedding but you can have the do there too so you cut the car expense and as everyone is indoors it makes outfits easier to buy (it is in Gorton though - do you know Manchester?)
    My d-i-l made their invitations. They were very pretty - textured paper tied with a ribbon with a printed insert.
    They also did a video diary of the last month before the wedding and the parents got a copy- it is so lovely, sniff.
    Their day was one of the best days of my life.
  3. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    Congratulations! I bet you're really excited. I'm so envious I'd love to be planning a wedding!
    I'm not too up on venues where you are but I LOVE this one in southport (and I believe it isn't too expensive) Tithe Barn at Meols Hall and they have a wedding evening on in July (which I've just now asked to exhibit at!) other than that the wedding fairs re-start in September time.
    I know hotels such as Holiday Inn do wedding offers (from £999) but I don't know if you'd fancy a hotel wedding as some brides don't. Bolton School also hire our their venue (which is lovely) and do packages.
    I design invites if you want to get them made professionally rather than do it yourself - although I tend to do non traditional ones www.charlieromeo.com (there are more pics on facebook and I can do bespoke to your budget)
    Happy planning! xx

  4. [​IMG]
  5. gemmamarie08

    gemmamarie08 New commenter

    I know! Can't believe people can afford so much!
  6. Neither do I, that's a deposit for a home!!!

    Just because you have a church wedding doesn’t mean it has to be expensive.
    If you want to trim down on the church costs consider not having the bells rung (if they have bells in your local church) and not having the choir there. You could also do your own flowers – raid any family and friends gardens for flora and you’ll probably find someone you know who would enjoy arranging it all for you. My Gran decorated the church for us – we raided the local fields and woods for greenery and various village gardens for the rest of the flowers.
    traditional village wedding – but was great fun, what we wanted, and enjoyed by everyone. We did it for £2,500 and that included everything apart from my dress.
    For the evening do – what are village/community halls like in your area? We had a hog roast and barn dance after our wedding. The families did all the cooking – apart from the hog – and it was all set out buffet style. Mum made the cake. We had about 80 guests, and there was plenty to go round. We had a late afternoon wedding so that we didn’t need to worry about extra food for the evening.
    We kept if fairly informal – no top table, no seating plan, bar run by friends, crockery borrowed from the school canteen (proper plates – not plastic trays); and we paid a couple of HNC students from my work place to do the washing and clearing up. They then stayed and joined in the dancing and the rest of the evening and seemed to enjoy themselves too – which was a bonus really.
    Weddings don’t have to be expensive – get a bit inventive and you’ll find all sorts of people have hidden talents. My F-in-L turned out to be quite inventive with oasis, holly and glitter!

  7. I went to a wedding at Tithe Barns near Oxford and it was absolutely beautiful. The couple had the wedding there, but I am sure that there is a church locally. Alternatively could you have a minister come and do a religious ceremony there?
    I made my invitations my self by buying nice paper, printing on the inside and buying a sunflower stamp and wedding stamp and stamping the outside with gold prints. I liked them... They were rustic.

  8. We're getting married this year. We're lucky in that we live in Edinburgh and there's quite a few places we can hold the party in. The place we've chosen is old, nice, and really inexpensive (not a hotel) The ceremony itself is in The City Chambers on the Royal Mile - again - not that expensive, but nice. Just as well considering we're a bit poor.
    I doubt we'll spend more than two thousand. Where do the costs actually come from? What does the fabled twenty thousand pounds GO on? Table decorations??

    *open-mouthed at the thought of spending twenty thousand pounds on a one day event*
  9. impis

    impis New commenter

    My son is getting married in May.
    He has bought a wedding package from a new, local hotel. This includes the ceremony, sit down meal for 50, and an evening buffet for 100. This costs £4.500, and is very much tailored to his preferences.
    No car to pay for.
    On top of that, he has to pay for :
    Dresses, and suits

    He and his fiance already live together - and have been saving £1000 a month to pay for the wedding. They haven't asked for a penny towards the costs. This is great, except we parents no longer have the input that was traditionally ours - the organising, the guest list etc. There are family friends who have not been invited - but I can't and won't say anything as they've done so well to pay for things themselves.
    My own wedding was very different - yet I loved it just the same.
    We married in a litle church. My mom made my dress,and those of the bridesmaids. Mine was made out of 2 Nottingham lace tablecloths, and the bridesmaids' dresses were made from curtain netting. The menfolk work whatever 'best clothes' they had already. The reception was a finger buffet at a scout hut, with a mobile bar and a dj bought in for the occasion. My parents had to scrimp and scrape in order to pay for it - and I had no input whatsoever regarding the guest list. [something we fell out over, more than once]. Nevertheless, I loved being the princess for the day and had a great time.
  10. Two of the best weddings I've been to have been in people's homes. One was in AUstralia with the ceremony int he garden. The other was a friend who wanted a church wedding but couldn't afford the 'do'. She was so skint her wedding ring is silver.

    At both a lot of family and friends were involved doing things like flowers, buying wine, cleaning up afterwards.
    People are happy to give their time and skills as wedding presents.
    Do you know anyone with a bigish house, or enough land to pitch a marquee? I remember one couplein the paper used the bride's parent's garage - they covered all surfaces with white cloth and had friend servethe meal.

    If you could guarantee the weather I'd suggest a picnic, find a piece of land big enough, if it's a field hire portaloos and get your guests to bring a picnic basket each.

    Have some music - whatever your choice and just chill.
    I've also know someone who had a barn for their evening reception - with bales of hay for seats - she did tell people to come in jeans.
    You might want to check out the sweet centres, many cater indian weddings and will turn up with samosas and curry - not traditional but hey, it's your wedding.

  11. We went to a wedding last June which was done on a low(ish) budget. They hired out a pub garden for a couple of hundred pounds- had a gazebo up and the pub provided a great BBQ and a buffet- parents helped make some lovely puds.
    It was a great wedding- such a friendly atmosphere- the bride and groom made such an effort to talk to us all. It was very informal- no seating plans, some simple flowers, outdoor music.
    It was the best wedding I have been too- and very reasonable cost wise but so much fun. We were lucky with the weather- warm and sunny.
    Everything can be done for a fraction of the cost, as long as you shop around.
    We have friends getting married this September who are spending over a years salary on the day. It won't be any nicer. They can't afford it. A wedding doesn't have to cost a fortune to be special. It should be the start of the rest of your life- not starting your life in debt.

    Good luck- and I am sure you can have an AMAZING day, not spending very much.
    &pound;20,000: OWCH!
  12. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Congratulations Gemmamarie!
    There's some lovely ideas on the thread already- I'd echo the people who've suggested using someone's garden, if you're lucky enough to know someone with one big enough (or pare down your guest list to fit what you have!). I ran the 'bar' for a friend's sister, whose reception was in her dad's garden. Admittedly it's a very large garden, but still.
    Moomoon's idea about the pub is also a good one, especially if you're regulars somewhere- I bet a landlord would be really happy to host and even more so if you're known there.
    I suppose a lot of your venue choice will be down to the sort of do you want. If you're happy for there to be some mud, flat shoes, wellies and so on, then I bet you could borrow or hire a field or a barn easily, and have a festival-style do. If you want something where you and your guests can be more glamorous, you might have to pay a bit more but then if you choose a smaller, local venue, I would expect the cost to stay lower- even if wine was provided with the meal, the bar afterwards should be profitable for any business.
    I hope you have a really lovely day- and enjoy the planning! x
  13. Congrats, hey you're very near me. So lets have a think.
    St Herbert's have a licensed parish hall and it is often booked for wedding receptions. Not overly large so would depend on numbers but, don't quote me, I think it catered for 150 fro an event I went to.
    There's the fabulous Saddleworth hotel, would be more expensive and may already be booked up for next year. Best wedding I ever went to was there.
    Cricket and bowling clubs at Shaw, Royton Werneth Chadderton, Oldham,Garden Suburbs.
    Golf Clubs Woodhouses is nice.Smokies, Birch Hall.
    That's all off the top of my head.
    Will come back when I remember more.
    Enjoy your planning it's half the fun.
  14. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    My daughter's wedding was budget.
    We loaned a local working men's club - times are hard for pubs and clubs - and it was free because they got the profit from the bar. We hired a local Indian restaurant to provide a curry supper - and we bought the plates from Ikea which was cheaper than hiring .... and so on. The couple did lots of things themselves like table decorations - oh, we bought table cloths from ebay and they were cheaper than hiring and better than paper. Made it a bit more posh. I now have loadsa plates and table cloths.
    I also have a very glam dress - designer - size 14 to huge - (daughter is a big girl) which is free to a good home. I think there are also some plain dresses size 16 which she bought from Oxfam... do pmail me if you would like these .....
    we did have a car and a photographer - just one car which made it a bit more special.
    Photographer was a waste of money really, but he was not expensive.
    They had Ceiledh band. The Asian restaurant people videod the dancing - they were amazed at the thing! They made us a georgous cake too. Free with the meal.
    Everyone said it was the best wedding they had ever been to!
    People mucked in and helped and enjoyed it more for ownership than any of the formal weddings I have been too. It was a bit chaotic really but so much fun.
    My daughter called her "ghetto" wedding. Really! But it was what she wanted every detail. Except the church music - I did that - most original I have to say!
  15. gemmamarie08

    gemmamarie08 New commenter

    Thanks so much for all the fab replies!
    Given us lots of ideas and it's lovely to hear so many lovely weddings on a reasonable budget!
    Thanks again
  16. My money's on Bauble. I heard he was a bit of a flibberty-gibbet.
  17. Congratulations Gemma!
    we did our wedding on a budget - you just need to look around.
    We married at the local church, and weren't going to decorate it, but the day before it turned out someone else was marrying there earlier in the day than us and they decorated the church - they were quite happy to share the decorations, and didn't want any money towards them. You could find out who else is marrying that day and see if you can share costs - if you do decide to decorate it.
    We used a local rugby club for the evening do - it was fab. We danced all night, and people (2 years later) are still saying it was the best wedding they'd ever been to! We had a friend Dj for us, but if he couldn't do it we were going to just program up an ipod with a playlist and play through the sound system.
    For flowers, we went straight to the nursery that supplies all the local florists - so got our flowers at a very reduced price! (Bouquets etc)
    Napkins and tablecloths from ebay. Made hair decorations myself with sparkly beads and kirby grips. Bought bright pink shoes to wear so I can wear them again.
    we did pay for a photographer, but they were verycheap. We paid a little extra for the copyright to the photos, and that way people could just order their prints themselves afterwards and not have to pay loads for them.
    We made our invites, and orders of service from card, a lovely photo of us on the front,ink stamp on the front, and a printed insert - whole lot were about &pound;10!
    And a fantastic day overall, was absolutely brilliant, good luck!
  18. Shifter

    Shifter New commenter

    Once the wedding is over and all bills are paid - start saving for the divorce
  19. Do you have a picture of the best man before I commit myself ?

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