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Discussion in 'Personal' started by learningyoghurt, Jul 12, 2008.
I feel I have a gift for it.
not_so's evilness is quite evil enough as it is.
She's just in denial.
I am out of school on Thursday for a hospital appointment.
I think I may tell them that they can have fun lessons and then set boring cover work. I hope the CS has a sense of humour
Same scenario at Easter as well! How about telling the kiddies they have homework over Easter to revise for an exam first lesson back, there's lots to do so they'd better start now in the lesson! Also a cool first lesson back while they sit the exam. You can sit back and ignore them claiming you never told them about the test.
We have a TED day tomorrow so I've had the last day non-uniform nightmare today.
My favourite response to "Why do we have to work on the last day of term?" is to say "You're just about to go on holiday for 2 weeks. Why do you need a holiday today when you're just about to have one?" I explained to them that they would appreciate their holiday more if I kept them working. Not sure they agreed but they did carry on working.
'Miss, can we have a fun lesson?'
'Yeah! What we gonna do then?'
'Maths - double period, fractions.....well, I think maths is fun!'
My favourite was working for a training provider, teaching E2E:
'When do we break up?'
'End of the day next Thursday....and you're back on Tuesday'
'But, it's Easter!'
'Yes, and you get 2 days off for Easter, Good Friday and Easter Monday...welcome to the real world! Kind of makes you appreciate those halcyon days of school you squandered, doesn't it!'
Why, oh why do we have a non-uniform day on the last day of term? I know, they're hyped up enough as it is, lets add to it by allowing them to come in their gangsta/emo/chav/wannabe hooker wear.
I have had 'can we have a fun/free lesson' all sodding week. 'All my lessons are fun' doesn't really wash with them!
5 more lessons to go..................................
(Hey - my first ever long-dead-and-resurrected-thread! )
I still like the firm, cheerful and impersonal "No". Maybe "No - and don't be silly" if they're an especially nice class...
me "DON'T mention the f-word in my department".......
Them: "This is boring" (accompanied by screwed-up face and sneer)
Me: Yes. And? or Yes, life can't all be fun and games.
Them: Miss how come everyone else is watching a DVD and we have to do work?
Me: They have a different teacher.
Hate it. Hate the whinging and moaning. But thank God our SMT didn't decree a non-uniform day tomorrow (we had ours on Comic Relief).
Anyway. Happy last day!
We had fancy bloody dress for Comic Relief. 'No, XXXX , you really do need to remove the gorilla outfit before you light the Bunsen burner' 'No XXXX, a heavily tinted motorbike helmet is not a substitute for safety goggles' etc..............
I will look forward to seeing look on the faces on my tutor group when I give big easter eggs to the students who are always willing to help and don't winge like the rest of the group.
I don't agree with annoying my class because it's the end of term... I annoy them all year!
It began in September with the sulky/ whiney, "But why miss?" to every instruction.
Me: Because I'm mean, nasty, horrible and cruel. Get used to it.
Now I just tell them they know why and ask if they want extra work
Teaching maths, I had a group who were quite hyper at the end of the day. S, I got thm all to stand up and , as we were doing bearing, made them all physicalise 000, 090, 180 and 270 with their arms out, stressing always going clockwise.
Then, for the best bit,
I got them to go to 180.
I did this until 170 until the whole class weer dizzy [having whole class spinning almost full circles 10 times is VERY funny and shuts up the whingiest kid] Not one asked fo any more 'fun'...
Me: hi everyone, as it's our last lesson I borrowed the latest release for you all to watch! (dangle said DVD enticingly in front of their eyes)
Them: aw yeah, that's wicked! ooooh, ahhh, yipee, miss you're the best!
Me: oh hang on, I didn't realise it was a 15...you're only year 9, certainly too young to watch THIS film!
Them: but we watch them all the time at home!
Me: oooh, no I certainly can't be breaking the law for your entertainment. Your parents might complain. We'll have to watch this nice U film just to be on the safe side (mwhahahahaha evil laugh!)
We're having THREE non-uniform days and then a normal one... which idiot came up with that idea????
I know my kids will come trapsing in asking if they are going to get a lesson on the computers/dvd/free, the usual, so I write on the board 'the answer is no, you are not going to the computer room or watching a dvd, so sit down and get your books out'. I stand at the front, arms folded, and when they come in and the predicted repeated questioning starts, i justsmile, cut them off and point at the board silently. Some pupils actually find it very amusing that i know them so well!
Why would you do this? Do you enjoy marking in your holidays?
My holiday 'wind down' has nothing to do with consideration for the kids and everything to do with getting ym classroom tidied, books marked and everything prepared for the first week back in September. Then 3.15pm I'm out of the door and not back til 1st September.
THEM: Are we going to have a fun lesson?
ME: No - if you look in my job description, I am actually employed to teach. If I were employed as a children's entertainer I would be wearing a sparkly leotard, swallowing fire and juggling but I'm not...
THEM: Can we watch a DVD?
ME: No; if you were supposed to be watching a DVD fo fun then it would be rather cruel of the local authority to insist that you stayed in school to do it when you could be in the comfort of your own homes or at a cinema watching the latest release.
Me: 'Today, class, you haven't got me, we've got a speaker in, to talk to you all about teenage sex, drugs and violence.'
The class: 'YEAH! REALLY, Miss?! Have we?!'
Me: 'No. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Open your books. Page 55.'
It's a winner!