Sometimes there are very compelling reason to leave. Health and the health of your children, danger in terms of violent crime and many other serious reasons. It is awful to feel that you are letting down children but if you are in the midst of a very tortured decision like that, being derided on here could really tip you over the edge emotionally. That's what I reckon anyways. I definitely would not advise you to leave without telling them though imitation. You will cause a whole heap of problems and regardless of whether you feel justified or not; you will feel like *** afterwards I should imagine. Bite the bullet and tell them now.