I was wondering if any of you could help me. This is going to be a long ramble I'm afraid, but if you do have the time and the inclination I will be sincerely grateful for any advice you can give. I'm writing this post as a very worred mum, but I am also a teacher. (At the moment I am onmaternity leave from my job at an LA where I write statements) The reason I'm telling you this because although I have knowledge of SEN from my teaching days and from my job now, this is me as a mum writing. The reason I'm posting here is that I really need advice about how to get school on board without alienating them. I have a nearly eight year old DD1 and a four month old DD2. I've always worried about DD1, but having DD2 has begun to confirm a few things for me and I would really appreciate your views on this. As a baby she never really engaged. Being my first I didn't really know what was normal and what wasn't but DD2 is just so different. She makes eye contact and smiles and laughs and I just don't remember DD1 being like that at all. As a toddler she didn't really play with toys, and even now has loads of things like Barbies and Sylvanian Families she has never touched. She spends ALL her time either playing the piano, just making up tunes, (she's very good) or dancing to music (again, she's very good). She was a very late talker - she was well past her third birthday when she would speak in short sentences. However she sounds very articulate now. This is great until you listen to the content of what she says, and then you realise it's very muddled. (Or at least, I do). She is in Year 3 now, and last term they were looking at the Egyptians. She wanted to take in the piece of volcanic rock we have, and eventually established that they were doing pyramids that week - she was confused between the two. She often makes up words for things, and does things like call lorries "trollies" and on the rare occasion she plays "schools" in her bedroom I hear her using lots of made up words, so much so that it sounds like babbling. She has no real friends at school, but seems to spend all her time falling out with the other girls. She frequently tells me she hates school because no-one likes her. However if you ask her who her best friends are she will name three girls at our church who are in their early teens and who are really not interested in her, but she follows them round obsesively, compeletly ignoring children of her own age. She has real problems empathising with anyone, has real trouble falling asleep and despite having a really solid bedtime routine is frequently still awake in bed at 10.30, worrying about things. I have often wondered about her being on the spectrum but I'm not to bothered about a label. However I do feel that the older she gets the more difficult she finds life. In 18 months she will be off to Middle School, which is the system we have round here. I'm already worried as the middle school she would go to is like a mini secondary school. So, that gives you some back ground. My school problem is that I have always felt that they massively inflate her grades, particuluarly with writing. Her school is in avery affluent village is small and has had an outstanding ofsted three times in a row. But I cannot get them to see why I am worried. The thing I really hate is I can just imagine how the staff must talk about me... I've been there! They probably just see an overly protective mum who, as a teacher, thinks she could do a better job than them. (Which is not the case. They are a lovely staff). When I've tried to explain how little of what we talk about she seems to understand they respond with "but we don't see it in school", even though they must see that, with careful (TBH it doesn't even have to be that careful) questioning she really doesn't understand much of what is explained to her. The perfect example was the end of term concert, when they did "The Selfish Giant". She was in the front row of the choir, sang beautifully, and looked word perfect. At tea time we were talking about the story and I mentioned the little boy who played "Jesus" She looked at me like I was daft and said "He wasn't in it!" So I said, "yes, the little boy at the end, who came to take the Giant to paradise, he was meant to be Jesus, that's why he had wounds on his hands" "Wounds?" she said "What are wounds?" so I explained. "Oh!" she said, "I've been wondering what wounds were". One of the songs she sang had a line repeated over and over "These are the wounds of love". She had sung this beautifully, and had not actually understood a word. It turned out, after me asking some more questions, that she did not actually understand the story at all. I know for a fact that they made quite a big thing of reading the story to the children as part of the preparations. So I can understand why at school they may not always have picked up on when she doesn't understand - she's not naughty and has good coping strategies. But they just will not listen to my worries. My husband and I are going to pay for her to have a private speech and language report done as we are convinced her language is quite disordered, and also that she will probably have quite a spikey profile, which is why it's not that easy to pick up on. However it's expenisive and we just can't afford it at the moment. So in the meantime how do I get them to listen to me? And what kind of intervetion should I be asking for? Please help if you can.