I have been browsing the vacancies in every possible source, but feel completely unmotivated to apply for any of the jobs. They all seem to ask for an outstanding teacher - I have only managed to get satisfactory with lots of 'good elements' in my most recent observations and I wonder if there is any point in applying for these jobs. I have been teaching for almost 3 years and consider myself a very conscientious person - but the ratings for observations definitely affect the way I perceive myself as a teacher. I wonder if I am 'good enough' for these posts and constantly think there will be other teachers far better than me. It feels like a crisis of confidence - I had a bad experience in my NQT year - had a mentor who never mentored me - not a single meeting or discussion through the whole year - with her or the head. I was also bullied by the year group leader but said nothing for fear of reprisal (she was a senior leader) - it all knocked my confidence. It had started to build up again, since I left that school and have been doing supply at a lovely school full-time - but even there, I just get the 'satisfactory with lots of good elements' in my observations. Fellow teachers there say that leaders are going over the top because they are nervous due to poor results last summer and local govt. pressure. Wish I could just get back my motivation and self-belief.