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Using parents to complain to get back at staff

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by casper, Mar 21, 2012.

  1. casper

    casper New commenter

    A pupil who h as caused considerable problems over the past few years has now got a parent to write and complain about me. I have had little support over this matter, I have logged behaviour. Now I have to be subjected to a meeting with the Head which is minuted. \not only that this pupil has got a friend to do the same. I feel very stressed and depressed by this. This pupil has shouted things at me around school. I have ignored what I can. This has been observed by other staff. Even her friends have commented to me that they feel she is being really unpleasant.

    Advice please. i have no ikdea what the letter says.

    Thank you.
     
  2. casper

    casper New commenter

    A pupil who h as caused considerable problems over the past few years has now got a parent to write and complain about me. I have had little support over this matter, I have logged behaviour. Now I have to be subjected to a meeting with the Head which is minuted. \not only that this pupil has got a friend to do the same. I feel very stressed and depressed by this. This pupil has shouted things at me around school. I have ignored what I can. This has been observed by other staff. Even her friends have commented to me that they feel she is being really unpleasant.

    Advice please. i have no ikdea what the letter says.

    Thank you.
     
  3. Involve your union.
     
  4. casper

    casper New commenter

    Local union have not been helpful. I have e mailed region. Just feel sick. Cannot not go in as I have my lovely GCSE pupils and I would not do that to them. No one else to teach them. Nothing is doen about pupils behaving like this then teachers are subjected to this.
     
  5. "This pupil has shouted things at me around school." - did you report it? What was done? If nothing, then you have a case against the school.
     
  6. chriszwinter1

    chriszwinter1 New commenter

    A cheap and intimidating trick. And who will be taking the minutes? Make sure someone is there with you. It doesn't have to be your union rep. You need a witness.
    Get them to back you up.
    Demand to see it. Don't ask, demand. And don't allow them to fob you with reading it to you. If they refuse, tell them you are not going to acknowledge its existence, let alone its contents.
    This kind of thing stinks. HTs are there to support their staff. The ones who don't are clueless and weak, which to me at least goes some way to explaining why the brat behaves as she does.
     
  7. BigFrankEM

    BigFrankEM Occasional commenter


    "Ah, there's the rub."

    (Copyright WS; pre Microsoft era. Renewed BFEM; 2008,- 9,- 10,- 11,- 12)
    See above.
    No statistics provided by this poster, but my (informed) ball park figures place 99.5% of HTs in the latter group and most though not all of the remainder outwith this group.



    No, I don't have any solutions. But I do have the wit to know that the other teachers who see this behaviour and pretend not to will not be forming an orderly queue outside the head's office to back you up.

    The latter fact, rather than the outrageous behaviour of the child, the child's parent(s) or even the cowardly head is the kernel of your problem.




     
  8. chriszwinter1

    chriszwinter1 New commenter

    I've worked for 7 heads: 4 supportive, 3 not. I'll leave it to you to work out under which group discipline was at its worst. Here's a clue: not under the 4 supportive ones.
     
  9. casper

    casper New commenter

    Just found out that the complaints were received late January, but have just been told about them. All wound up by friends of each other. This has not helped the situation has it? I have had one of them shouting at me and swearing at me around school.Witnessed by other staff. I now have to have a meeting about this, I cannot believe that the Head has left it all this time to deal with this. This has never happened to me in 10 years of teaching.
     
  10. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    Hmm, unpleasant.
    Build up your own evidence portfolio; log everything; get witnesses to corroborate your statement. Be ready with your meetings; ask to be observed with the class, or ask a sympathetic colleague to do so who can help build up your evidence base.
    To be fair on the Head, most schools should investigate formal complaints as a matter of course. Good heads will make sure that the teacher's perspective is clearly heard and recognised. Wormy ones will not. Also, it is by far easier for an invertebrate senior staff member to placate the parent and the child than the teacher, so make sure that you demand some placating yourself; complain about the behaviour of then child; ask line management to remove them; set detentions; log referrals on your school system. In a game of evidence like this, if the school's instinct isn't to support, then you need to learn how to support yourself.
    If you're exposed on this, seek Union advice, although you've said that they haven't been helpful. They get more useful IF the school moves against you; until then, they can really only act in a mediating role.
    Good luck
    <i style="color:#1f1f1f;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;line-height:16px;background-color:#e5f4fb;">Read more from Tom here on his blog, or follow him.[/i]
     
  11. casper

    casper New commenter

    Tom thank you.

    Had the meeting and it is all wound up by friend of a pupil who has been harassing me around school . However, it all arises from the fact that the school divulged my confidential personal medical information to pupils. So the whole school were aware of my illness before I returned back to work. I feel so distressed by the whole episode it is the first thing in my head when I wake up every morning. I think I am going to need counselling, An interesting fact has emerged. The staff well-being policy has not been reviewed for 12 years. Need I say any more.
     
  12. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    WHAT?!?!?!

    To the PUPILS? Are you certain? That's disgraceful - surely you can wipe the floor with them for that?

    Please make sure that you have evidence of this and that your union are aware of it.
     
  13. casper

    casper New commenter

    Oh yes, I am certain.
     
  14. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    OMG! Please tell your union.

    I cannot understand under what circumstances pupils would be told about a teacher's medical problems. Was it a mistake? Even it if was, it sounds such a gross breach of privacy I hope you could understand and forgive my initial apparent disbelief.

    How very dare they?
     
  15. casper

    casper New commenter

    No it was not a mistake it was deliberate. Of course I forgive your initial apparent disbelief I quite understand.
     
  16. I would lodge a grievance with the school board, the LEA and your union, I would also think about reporting the Head teacher to the GTC, as this can not be allowed, we have only had one case where I have worked with the students being told about a teachers health and that was at the teachers request (she had breast cancer).
    I would be taking legal advice if it was me, I would not be happy with the students knowing my medical reason for being off of work.
     
  17. casper

    casper New commenter

    This was done a few years ago, but there have been several instances where this has been sued by pupils against me. Also been used in school. Do not want to go into more details here. When I was off I was hounded around a shopping centre and shouted at by pupils because I was wearing a wig. Of course I did not know then, but pupils had been told what was wrong with me.

    The recent situation is also because they know. You cannot untell someone once it is done it is done.I am feeling quite traumatised about what has happened. I feel I need some kind of therapy, not because I have been ill, but because how i am being treated. thank you for your replies I really appreciate it. I just want tot do my job.
     
  18. You must report this incidence of a breach of privacy to your Union, immediately. This is outrageous.
     
  19. Four years ago it happened to me.It was organised by three students from my class and the letter was signed by 24 students against and four were for me.There was a parents' meeting together with the students and me-a real trial,I even don't want to remember all that.Anyway,nothing concretely as a complainment agains me-I just wanted of them to study hard and more.Most of these students had won competitions,gained international certificates and were very good but some were free to do what they wanted.
    They even broke my car and did me nasty tricks.They wrote me bad words etc.
    I didn't receive any support of the colleagues-they were afraid even to talk to me because of the cameras put everywhere in school and the Headmistres watched us everywhere all the time at work-time.I was called to her and was fired.
    Two years later two of my ex-students became my university students and told me that it was a childish trick to know the students' power.
    I was depressed and out of work, but please don't give up-you probably have a family and own children and they are happy to have you healthy and happy.
    Annie
     
  20. Mitzka

    Mitzka New commenter

    Oh my goodness. please once you have sorted things, leave this school for your own sanity. I am a NZ teacher but have moved to London recently and am working as a supply. I cannot believe the utter **** (excuse my language) that teachers here put up with. The behaviour of students here is atrocious!! I come home most days with headaches. And sometimes, as you are finding, it can be other staff members who are the problem too. I'm feel really sorry for you as this is just ridiculous. There is something wrong with the entire systems over here. And I apologise to anyone who takes offence to what I'm saying but so far this is what I have both experienced myself, heard about, and read about. Good luck with your situation - stay strong.
     

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