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URGENT advice needed

Discussion in 'Secondary' started by Laurenkelly3828, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter


    I am a teaching assistant in a primary school I work full time with a year 10 student who has ADHD and ASD. I have to shadow and support the student all day. However their behavior does sometimes get to me and I do sometimes end up telling then to "stop" in a stern voice which the SENCO agrees with. Also when the student has a meltdown It annoys me very easily and I end up telling the student to "shut up" which the SENCO also agrees with as she thinks both of these things are done by the student for attention. I have worked with the student since year 8. However the issue is not with the student or staff at my school but with her parents and her primary schools staff. This Is because when the student left primary school her and her mum were told by the staff that she could "always go back to see them" and the student was also told "she could always ask them for advice if she needed to" they also told the parent that "If she needed any advice she could always speak to them" . We have never had a problem with this until last week when we found out that the parent had been talking to the students primary school teachers and saying that "we dont support her daughter" the primary school teachers then emailed us questioning why we don't support the student enough and asking for a meeting with us to discuss this. We replied to this saying " we are doing all we can to support the student". We had a meeting with them on Friday. At this meeting there was myself, our SENCO and our pastoral team and in the end 12 members of staff from the students primary school turned up! During the meeting we was very honest with them about how we support the student and we explained to them how we deal with the students behaviour and their meltdowns. The primary school staff said that we do not do enough for the student however we said we can't do anymore for her(which we can't) so the left the meeting at the fact that the primary school staff we saying that are emailing the head of our school about this!. Just to be clear the primary school is a mainstream school and so is the secondary school I work in. We can't do anymore to help the student, so what do we do?

    Can the primary school staff get involved like this?

    Thanks in advance.
  2. Skeoch

    Skeoch Lead commenter

    The primary staff have no role in this child's education. They might act as advisers to the parents, but they have no formal role. They aren't entitled to attend meetings about this child. Looks like you have collectively walked into a mess of your own making there!
    I'd suggest firm letter to the primary head from your head saying effectively "mind your own business" and a letter from your head to the parents saying your school is always happy to meet them and discuss the child's progress, but that it's inappropriate to arrive mob-handed with people who have no current responsibility for the child.
  3. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    Our SENCO called the head teacher at the primary school and he just said to us that he allowed his staff to attend it and he fully backs them.

    Should they even be acting as advisers to the parents?
  4. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    I'd refuse to attend any further meetings, or communicate in any way with the primary school about this (or other pupils no longer at the primary school)..
  5. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    It is not in regards to any other pupils who went there just this one!

    Should the primary school staff even be acting as advisers to the parents?
  6. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    It is not in regards to any other pupils who attended that primary school, it is only about this one pupil!
    Should the primary school staff even be advising the parents?
  7. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    Based upon what? Their vast experience of secondary teaching?

    Bully for them, but I think you'll find that you are not obliged to listen to them. In same way you might not follow the educational advice of the midwife that delivered the child (providing she is still a midwife type thing).

    You should be able to distance yourself and not let it get to you. Easier said than done.

    The primary school staff are no longer 'stake holders' in the education of this child, in any way shape or form, unless both schools are on a single site and the year 10 child wanders back to the primary area of the site during school hours. Working on the assumption that this is not the case the primary staff should concentrate on their own students. The primary staff were criticising what you based upon the third hand account of a parent.

    Your school extended a professional courtesy to these professionals.

    I find it rather odd that 12 people from the primary school turned up.

    Stop communicating with the primary staff. Just politely say thank you for your input but this is no longer your concern.

    No. They no longer have any "duty of care" for this child. You not obliged to listen to any of their advice.

    Ask yourself what would the primary school say if a kindergarten the child had previously attened had contacted them about the support that they give the child.
    Would the primary school accept being told what they do is insufficient from someone who is not a stakeholder?

    The primary staff /teachers need to accept that their duty of care to this child has ended. The child left primary school 4 years ago? did they not?
    FrankWolley and phlogiston like this.
  8. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    We know that the primary school staff no do not have a duty of care to this child. However they still think they because do when the student left primary school her and her mum were told by the staff that she could "always go back to see them" and the student was also told "she could always ask them for advice if she needed to" they also told the parent that "If she needed any advice she could always speak to them" .

    When I said what can we do now I ment what can we do to support he child further?
  9. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    I realise that, but the primary schools sounds as if they are launching some sort of bid for influence in the secondary school - so I'd make it clear to them that they won't be involved in any pupil at the secondary school (whatever they want or the parents wish for!) This pupil might be the thin end of a wedge!
  10. 50sman

    50sman Lead commenter

    What I don’t understand is the the OP says she is working in a primary school with a year 10 student or is it a typo?
    harsh-but-fair likes this.
  11. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    Tell them that then.

    Don't change your question. How on Earth can we know what support the child gets? Do they get extra time in assessments? Do they get to sit in a separate room for tests. Do they have a reader. Do they get differentiated materials in lessons. All you have done is tell us how you speak to the child.

    Piranha likes this.
  12. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    I don't think the primary staff should have been involved in this way. Possibly not unreasonable for one of them to come to support mum in the meeting, but otherwise it's none of their business, and it feels rather invasive. Did your head know?

    However I'd be interested to know whether they offered any practical suggestions, or just criticism. It would at least be an attempt to provide constructive help (although of course it might be that those strategies don't work in the secondary environment, or have ceased to be effective because the child has changed - as is not unusual between year 6 and year 10).
  13. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Posted twice, no idea why!
  14. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    As a primary teacher, I'm astonished that there are primary school staff with the time to get involved in the education of ex pupils! At my school, we're too busy with our current pupils.
    As a teaching assistant, you can't do much but your head or SENCO should be telling the primary school to mind their own business and crack on with educating the pupils they ARE responsible for.
  15. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    This doesn't sound at all supportive, more than you are irritated or annoyed by their special needs. An ASD meltdown is not done for attention and pupils should never be told to shut up. I'm appalled the SENCO agrees to this.
    This is fairly normal for all children leaving primary. Most don't take advantage of the offer, but some do.
    You told the primary staff, who already have concerns, that you say 'shut up' and 'stop' to the pupil when her behaviour annoys you? No wonder they are concerned.
    No, but you invited them in to the meeting. This should have been nipped in the bud by the SENCO at the first communication from the primary.
    What support do you offer so far? You say you can't do any more, but so far all you've given us is that you tell the poor girl to shut up and stop whenever she exhibits behaviour
  16. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    Our SENCO is going to call the head today.
  17. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    That is a typo sorry.
  18. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    I work with her for whole day and support her. For assessments she is in the main exam hall.
  19. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    Yes our headteacher Is aware. Would it even had been reasonable for one of the primary school staff to attend?
  20. Laurenkelly3828

    Laurenkelly3828 New commenter

    Our SENCO has called the head of the primary school but he has said that he agrees with what his staff are saying!

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