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Urgent Advice Needed - Tricky situation!!

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by rhighton, Dec 4, 2018.

  1. Hello,
    In September I was given a TLR2a on a temp basis for the year and made KS1 leader. This is my 5th year at the school and up until this year I have never really had any problems with staff members etc.
    This year, I have had some problems with one of the Year 1 teachers (which is due to both of us) and I've made a few mistakes. However, although I am not perfect I feel really upset and deflated all the time. I feel like I am an easy person to blame for things and because of my new position, I've been told it is my duty to sort these issues out.
    The other "problem" is that I am 4 months pregnant with my first baby. My head has been incredibly supportive, but I feel like this hasn't been taken into consideration when dealing with certain issues.

    I really want to leave, however, I am trying to keep going until maternity. I plan to come back after maternity (end of November) but was wondering if I decided to leave once I come back, how much notice would I be expected to give?

    If things got worse, and I handed in my notice now - what could I do? What would be my maternity pay whilst I am off?

    I really don't want to leave and put my family in an awful position but I honestly don't feel work are truly seeing how upset everything is making me and I am being expected to just deal with things.

    (I have already contacted my union, however, they don't appear to be in a rush to get back to me!)
  2. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Firstly, don't rush into making decisions, whilst you're 4 months pregnant. All those hormones rushing round will be affecting you and your ability to see things as clearly as normal.
  3. 5605

    5605 New commenter

    I would stick it out and make the most of your TLR bonus and the security of having maternity leave pay and a supportive head in terms of your maternity. I wouldnt do anything to cause stress. I imagine that, when the baby comes, it will all seem irrelevant. I was having problems with a head of department once due to having to have difficult conversations and small acts of kindness or even a smile and a 'how are you?' can really work to repair a difficult relationship in the short term. You could eventually use your TLR to go after a step up once you are ready :)
  4. skellig1182

    skellig1182 Senior commenter

    Could you return without the tlr?

    You need to come back for 13 weeks to keep the enhanced pay. I’m like you and almost 3 months pregnant. I’d love to leave but I can’t yet. You can take maternity 11 weeks prior to little one coming if you are desperate to get out. If you need some breathing space and rest then could you maybe take a week off? You are protected when it’s pregnancy related and employers don’t record this as sickness absence. You won’t have it disclosed to new employers.

    Have a look at all your options but don’t leave now. You would be better having a little time of to look after you and the baby. xxx
    agathamorse, 5605 and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  5. skellig1182

    skellig1182 Senior commenter

    I’ve just read your post again and definitely have a chat with your Gp about how you are feeling. There is lots of support out there. It’s an overwhelming time and I know some women sail through pregnancy but it’s not easy and it can be difficult in a challenging environment.

    I think once my head knows I’m only returning for 13 weeks, they may give me ppa to do. I don’t think they would put me back in class in June 2020 when there’s been a teacher in it all year and will be prepared for moderation. Talk to your head also about how you are feeling. They seem very supportive. I always believe in being very open with them. I’ve always put my cards on the table with them.xxx
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  6. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    I agree with everyone who says not to rush into anything. This is a difficult time of year too. The weather is awful and everyone is busy and stressed. The holiday will be here soon and will give you a breathing space.

    If you are four months pregnant now, the baby will be due in late spring. That’s really only another term effectively and then you can have the time with your baby.

    If you really can’t cope though, you need to see your GP.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  7. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    Just another possibility to consider: it sounds as if what's causing the stress is the added responsibility of the TLR, and it being your job to sort things out. Might it be worth having a chat with your head and saying "obviously someone else will have to take over the KS1 leadership when I go on maternity leave; if you'd prefer, I'd be happy for them to take over sooner". It obviously means relinquishing the extra pay (but since it's temporary it won't affect next year), and it may not be the answer if the person who would take over is the one you're not getting on with, but it might mean you could concentrate on your class and not worry as much about the colleague issues.

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