I am overwhelmed with sadness and unable to sleep. Everything is going round and round in my mind. I've been teaching for nearly 22 years and love being in the classroom, but this year a perfect storm of change and the encouragement to apply for a Middle Management role has meant I have to work harder then ever. I still get huge reward from teaching students; my favourite and safest place is in the classroom, teaching. But my best is clearly not enough and I have disappointed my Line Manager. She has emailed and told me so because I have not found time to fulfil one small (and relatively unimportant) part of the job. I am so sad. I work really hard like so many other teachers, and always try to keep smiling and set a good example for the students. I set myself the highest standards and regularly work 6-7 hours over a weekend as well as 50-60 hour weeks. I know I am an excellent teacher, although this year I have not been given the opportunity to plan as thoroughly as I would like. So now I am looking for an escape tunnel from teaching. And I will be very tired today while I go about the demands of the job - while this same Line Manager (who might teach one lesson today) wants to meet with me to tell me how disappointing I am. Sad. Sad. Sad.