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Unmarried, Pregnant and Working in a Catholic School

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by laura-jamie17, Jun 14, 2020.

  1. Hello all,

    My partner and I are planning to try and start a family at the beginning of next year. However, we aren't married and don't plan on getting married for a while yet. Both of us have always wanted children before anything else. The issue is that I work in a Catholic school although I am not Catholic myself. We only have a small number of Catholic families and children that attend our school, normally around 2 - 4 children in each class.

    My school has always been very supportive in other areas of my life but I am concerned that, if I were to become pregnant, I would be in 'trouble' of sorts and would have overstepped a line. For example, I assume that SLT would make the decision not to announce my pregnancy to parents, and would ask me to suddenly change my name to Mrs instead of Miss which I'm sure would invite awkward questions from children and parents alike. I am not comfortable with this but likewise, don't think they (meaning SLT) would be comfortable with my pregnancy. This is frustrating as surely my ability as a teacher is worth more than my own, personal lifestyle choices. On top of this, I know that some of our SLT have made choices previously which are not 'Catholic' e.g. marrying someone who has been divorced previously or who has children from a previous relationship, not getting married in a Catholic church etc.

    I have started to think about whether it would be easier to find a new job to start in September 2021 but then would have to postpone my pregnancy ideas longer than I'd like to so that I settle into the new job first as opposed to getting the job and then surprising them with an imminent pregnancy! Plus, as we all know, finding a new job is sometimes easier said than done! On top of that, I really love working where I currently do!

    Any help, advice or stories from people who have been in the same situation would be greatly appreciated!

    Laura x
  2. Abitofeverything

    Abitofeverything Occasional commenter

    Blimey, that's a hard one. Is there anyone who you can talk to in your school who has been in a similar position? Or a sympathetic member of SLT you could have an informal chat with?
    It would seem a real shame if you love the job to leave just in case they had a negative reaction to you, and like you say, finding a job in this current climate where you can't easily go and look around schools could be a minefield. I think it's better once you've had the baby to return to a school you know well and are happy at, plus don't forget morning sickness etc can make the first few months pretty hellish - again better to be somewhere where people know and support you!
    Good luck.
  3. Owleyes00

    Owleyes00 New commenter

    Just do it, it’s none of their business what you do in your private life especially if they hired you knowing you aren’t catholic. Any repercussions and you have strong grounds for a discrimination case IMO
  4. karen387

    karen387 New commenter

    Have you have any experiences within the school that would lead you to think that this would be an issue? I am a DHT in a Catholic school and this would not be an issue for us at all. It would also not have been a problem in either of the catholic schools I taught in before this one. I am an unmarried single parent myself.

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