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Unicycling Hooligan Theorem (UHT)

Discussion in 'Education news' started by circuskevin, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. circuskevin

    circuskevin Occasional commenter

    "Whatever the frame of reference the behaviour of a hooligan will improve if you teach him to unicycle."

    Just as 'the speed of light within a vacuum is the same no matter the speed at which the observer travels'.

    Experimental evidence so far suggests that whoever and wherever you teach a hooligan to unicycle their behaviour will improve.

  2. circuskevin

    circuskevin Occasional commenter

    The most recent evidence comes from the transformation of a local ten year old lad.

    His story is in https://community.tes.com/threads/special-needs-funding.782684/

    His school tried detentions, exclusions, calming room and medication to no avail.

    Unicycling worked.

    The most disrespectful lad in the neighbourhood is now the most respectful.

    He is still a 'wild child' due to his ADHD.

  3. circuskevin

    circuskevin Occasional commenter

    The most 'spectacular' evidence came ten years ago.

    Crime was out of control. Police would turn up to record it but had no interest in doing anything about it.

    Both the local gunman and the burglar had just been released from jail. Quite a concentration of villains living in the vicinity.

    What was to be done?

    I rather nervously went round the neighbourhood and announced a 'ban on crime' and offered to teach the hooligans to unicycle instead. It was a bit scary at the time and not a little surreal explaining this to hardened criminals.

    Crime stopped. Hooligans started to learn their skills. One day a knock at the door. It was the local burglar 'Mad Michael'. He told me I had left my van unlocked. Well, Well!!

    The crooks backed me up and over a couple of years we ended up with the world's most talented hooligans. They went on to become family men with jobs such as builders, mechanics and landscape gardeners.

    I could say it was safe for kids to play again but that wouldn't be true. The kids always were safe, it was just your property that wasn't!

  4. sparkleghirl

    sparkleghirl Star commenter

    I was asking myself who might have replied to this thread and what those replies might be. Now I know.
    Lalex123, nomad and Jamvic like this.
  5. Sir_Henry

    Sir_Henry Occasional commenter

    Yes. Do uou think moped gangs will be replaced by unicycle gangs?
    sparkleghirl and nomad like this.
  6. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    Gives a new meaning to the term 'one-trick pony'.

  7. Oldfashioned

    Oldfashioned Occasional commenter

  8. Jamvic

    Jamvic Senior commenter

    If I had a pound for every time I’ve thought, ‘if only the Kray twins had tried uni-cycling’, I’d be no better off at all.
  9. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    easier for the police to knock them off a unicycle than a moped!
    sparkleghirl, Jamvic and phlogiston like this.
  10. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    My guess is that @circuskevin is right. Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to learn to unicycle and probably now have bones that are insufficiently flexible to risk the tumbles that are probably a necessary part of learning to unicycle.
    Sadly, I know no unicyclists round where I live. I love my bicycle, but maybe two isn't twice as good.
  11. colpee

    colpee Star commenter

    For the really really naughty, they need to master this:

  12. gainly

    gainly Occasional commenter

    Possibly a theory but certainly not a theorem.
    circuskevin likes this.
  13. chowatson

    chowatson New commenter

    I'm really starting to worry about Kevin...
    blazer likes this.
  14. circuskevin

    circuskevin Occasional commenter

    Three reasons that make teaching unicycling successful:

    1. It is a physical activity.
    2. The students enjoy doing it.
    3. It gives them a sense of achievement.

    Ole Brekke in Denmark once taught film making skills to excluded students.

    The same 3 reasons applied to the way he taught it.

    The end result in both cases was that disaffected pupils came back to normal behaviour.


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