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Unfortunate things children write...!

Discussion in 'Primary' started by Andrew Jeffrey, Apr 25, 2008.

  1. This is fantastic! I've had a really stressful week - this thread is just what I need.

    Teaching the digestive system to Y5 this week - children had diagrams in front of them. I asked a question to which the answer should have been "blood". My most innocent couldnt help but call out repeatedly "a nuss, a nuss". It took me a few moments to realise what he meant, so I corrected and said "it says 'anus'". The lad seemed to have never heard the word before, and continued to call out what he thought was the correct answer "anus, anus". I had to tell him that this was simply the correct pronunciation, not the correct answer.
  2. This has really made me laugh tonight and boy did I need to!
  3. Twinkles

    Twinkles New commenter

    I've had '**** you for lurning us litrasy' in a leaving card and, my personal favourite from several years ago: 'David Beckham is my hero. He plays for ********' Trying not to giggle while the TA was correcting him (he was playing for Man U at the time) was a real challenge.
  4. Oh yes, how fondly I remember the days in KS1 and the interesting spelling of "couldn't"!

    The best one I had was a Year 1 boy writing about the Easter story. We were writing it in chapters and one of his pages was boldly headed with "THE LUST SUPPER"!

    You learn very early on never to start with the word "duck" when doing rhyming word activities with children!
  5. impis

    impis New commenter

    Not written, but this week, using earphones in the IT suite - the padded ear part fell off one of the earphones. Its user protested:

    "ere, Miss - My muff's fallen off." [Imp begins to smile, but none of the other y7s turn a hair]

    "miss, Miss, I've dropped my muff. Can you help me put my muff back on?"

    [Imp is sniggering by now, as is the LSA - but still absolutely no reaction from the other year 7s. - They're an innocent lot]

    Another time, same class, one boy, [aspergers] came into the classroom, and announced 'Am I the only boy in this class who is willing to own up to masterbating??" He was taken aside where it was gently explained to him that it was innapropriate to announce such a think 'in public'.

    God, I love working here!
  6. impis

    impis New commenter

    "thinK" ???

    oops, sorry.

    I meant "thinG".
  7. This happened about 12years ago but DH and I still smile. He has since left the profession!

    He and another male teacher were in the Home Ec room carving turkeys for the Staff Xmas lunch! (Those were the days!).

    The Yr 7 had cooked a variety of cakes and were investigating the Taste... which was the most popular. One of the girls shot her hand in the air and declared that her favourite was the semen cakes.

    At this point one of the Turkeys almost hit the floor! And the shoulders started shaking! After repeating it, the HEc teacher suddenly clicked that it was the cinnamon flavour cakes getting the vote.

    Funnily enough there was only a couple of sniggers from the class. The innocence of youth in those days. Well in this particular school anyway.
  8. I got my last class to do the a to z of adjectives (one word for each letter)
    One boy came up chuffed to bits that he'd found a word for every letter, but his 'z' word was complete jibberish to me. (zackaft) He got a bit upset and insisted that people on tv say it the whole time. He then demonstrated, with great tv host style...

    What he had heard was them saying 'That's a fact!'
  9. Yesterday we wrote our riddles for our SATS task and one little fellow was writing about a shark. One of his clues were I don't wear a thong... and I'm still quite unsure what he means!!!
  10. Data handling in Year 3 - one child wrote a table showing how many children liked **** (coke), orgie (orange) and blackc*nt.

    I also heard tell of the child who wrote their playscript for the Y6 SAT test about the child who wanted to stay up to watch the telly. The writing ended with the wonderful phrase "Will you just **** off to bed!"
  11. cariad2

    cariad2 New commenter

    I love this thread. It's good to start the weekend with a chuckle.

    I'd guess that the child in post 31 probably meant to write "I don't wear anything."
  12. We were discussing Journey to Jo'burg, and having a long discussion about racism, and then children were asked to write in a thought bubble what they thought.

    One wrote "i love racism, but many people don't. windows can get broken and some people die, i like watching it on tv" and then I couldn't read the rest.

    Went to confront said child about their feelings, and asked them to read the rest - after he started mentioning steering wheels and going fast and types of cars. I realised he had written his opinion on racing, not racism.

    He must have wondered why I was so firmly anti-racing.
  13. We were doing present and past tense with irregular verbs and I gave the present tense wear. One girl held up wore but with an h in an unfortunate place and asked innocently 'is this right?' - had to just move away before I laughed at her!!
  14. great idea for a thread!

    a while ago i was working in a school as a TA and they had a policeman in as a guest speaker during assembly. He was explaining his uniform and what he carries around with him. He held up the handcuffs and just as he opened his mouth to start talking about them a child put their hand up and called out (rather innocently)

    "my mum has some of those"

    hehe! made me smile!

  15. When trying to write cart - one of mine replaced the 'ar' with 'un'!!! (the n being the result of a rushed r)
  16. Not written but said by one of my receptions ... she has a unique accent ...

    "Miss I don't have a **** on my table!"

    Ofcourse she was referring to a 'sheet'
  17. Veronh

    Veronh New commenter

    I once wrote something I still cringe about to this day. At high school I had to label a skeleton with all the bones. I felt I had done such a good job of my labels my skeleton deserved a name...... So I decided to call my skeleton Denis. I wrote Denis above its head with an arrow pointing down to the head. Unfortunately my D looked like a P. My biology teacher told me I had put it in the wrong place and we weren't labelling that kind of thing. I was very red having to explain. OOOOPS
  18. takethatno1fan

    takethatno1fan New commenter

    In my NQT year - my class were writing as though they were one of the soldiers waiting inside the horse of Troy. They had to write - what they could see/hear/feel etc.

    One of my Y5 boys wrote 'I could hear laughing, cheering and lapdancers....'

    Oh dear!!!!!!!
  19. It's not just children. I walked back into my classroom after DH had been covering a spelling lesson. Written on the board was the title "uck words". I'm not sure which ones the children came up with!
  20. This thread is brill - it really made me chuckle!

    Playing a game on the interactive whiteboard with year one - it was a game with rhyming words. The first two words that came up were - "suck" and "spank"! Thank god the kids were too young to realise, but the adults in the room had to contain their laughter!

    Teaching French to Year 6 - "et toi" (and you) became "et ****" when a boy accidentaly added a t to the end! Cue one red-faced boy and hysterics from the rest of the class (me included)!

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