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unemployed offspring

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Dunteachin, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Just wondered if anyone else has a twentysomething child at home, desperate for a "proper job" but having no luck finding anything. Has a degree from a Russell group university, has worked abroad for two years in the leisure industry, is hard-working, articulate with a great personality and has much to offer employers. He has applied for lots of jobs and heard nothing.
    It really is quite depressing and I know he is not alone. There's nothing I can do, except offer support and free board and lodgings!
    Anyone in a similar situation?

  2. Yes, in exactly the same situation! My daughter, is desperate to begin her NQT year and has applied for loads of teaching positions but to no avail!
    As you say it is a depressing situation and a financially punitive one for both of us!
  3. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    I am the 20 something child desperate for a job! I would be at home if it wasn't for my fabulous OH [​IMG] x
  4. Lol...that sounds so wrong.
  5. May2

    May2 Established commenter

    I know how you feel. I often get quite annoyed when I hear all the stuff about unemployed 16-24 year olds and talking about getting them on courses and apprenticeships to increase qualifications etc. The government seem to think all the young unemployed have left school at 16 with few qualifications yet there are thousands of graduates sttruggling to find work, lots with work experience and internships under their belt.
    This internship expectation also really annoys me where so many youngsters are now expected to work for months for nothing and be supported by parents, often not leading to anything at the end. The govt said they were going to do something about it but don't seem to have done anything.
    My son left Uni with a 1st and was 18 months looking for work. I know lots of people say they should take any job but why does anyone want to take a graduate for shop work who is over 21 when they can take a 16 year old on lower minimum wage. My son didn't get any replies from shops he applied to.
    I suppose he was lucky he got taken on the last govts. Jobs Future Fund scheme for long term unemployed, which has been abolished. He got given a 'proper' job 25 hours a week on minimum wage for 6 months, they kept him for 12 months. He then luckily got another job in the same sector as he then had good experience. He was lucky.
    His girlfriend finished Uni last summer and still cannot get a job apart from a bit of bar work. She was offered a 6 month internship not relevant to her degree but her mother was against her taking on no pay just travelling expenses as she would no longer get any benefits. She is now living with her parents and ny son with us150 miles apart It is so much harder for them than in our day.
    The really depressing thing is how rude companies are in not even responding with an email after all the hours the youngsters put in to complete applications.
    It will be interesting to see what happens in the court case with the girl who was being made to do work experience in Poundland or not get benefit, when she had been volunteering in a museum and looking for work in that field.
    Ok there may be some people claiming benefits who perhaps don't deserve all of them but not any of the graduates I know.

  6. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    My 2 children are in their mid-twenties. Both live at home with me - their dad lives abroad with his new wife and her family.

    One has a degree the other finished after A level - A levels weren't good but has 10 good GCSEs.

    They have only ever had long periods of unemployment or minimum-wage temporary jobs.

    After being made redundant, one is now doing a course they could have done at 16 - they get no income, and even had to pay tuition fees (got a reduction because they had earned so little the previous year). They have to buy books, equipment and pay travel costs.

    The other has worked for an agency for 18 months on minimum wage - that's why they have to live at home because you can't keep yourself on a minimum wage.

    I read an article in a paper recently - can't remember where or who - which put it really well. It feels as though they have both been denied the passage into adulthood in that they cannot (unless they are very irresponsible) set up their own homes or start and bring up families.

    There is no way I could think of retiring - even if the retirement age hadn't been constantly put back. I feel I will have to work for ever and I have even thought they might be better off if I died in service - wouldn't they get some sort of payment?

    When they were born all those years ago, I never thought that in 25+ years' time I would be feeling like this. Goodness knows how they must be feeling.
  7. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    While I do sympathise with parents and unemployed offsprings,I wonder how millions of people who spend their lifes on minimum wage manage?
  8. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

  9. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    Sorry - I kept trying to edit, but it would only show the quote, not my comment.

    What I meant to say was:-

    I presume that their income is supplemented by income support - certainly that is the case with someone I know on minimum wage who is not able to live with their family. Because my children live with me they do not qualify for any - which I agree with, I wouldn't like them to claim anything when I can keep them and would rather the benefits went to the truly needy.
  10. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Yes,that's what I thought too. I know that it's not the way that many people are thinking nowadays but I think it's better for all concerned if grown up children move out and start living some kind of independent life,even if they don't have the type of job they thought they would have.
  11. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    Of course it would be better.
  12. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Yep, this generation is struggling to find work. It will get even harder, now that we older ones may have to work longer and "job-block".
    Lots of people have to survive on the minimum wage, which must be quite a struggle if you have a mortgage, bills and a family. Indeed, a lot of unemployed graduates would be glad to earn the minimum wage. They just want a job, but are often overlooked because they are over-qualified.
    My advice to anyone going to university would be to train for something specific ie, accountancy, dentistry, medicine etc. At least you would have a fighting chance of being employed at the end.
    Fortunately, my daughter went down that route and her's is a totally different story to my son's.
  13. bobbycatrules

    bobbycatrules New commenter

    I know lots of Oxbridge graduates- some with PhD's- who are unemployed. If it happens to them, there's not a lot of hope for many others.
  14. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    I have a 30-something son at home!
    He has a degree in Film and TV production but got work in the Leisure industry and his experience in film editing is probably well out of date now.
    He has worked abroad for several winter seasons and done high-end barwork (cocktails) in the UK between contracts until last year when he took the plunge and spent his £7k of savings training to be a winter sports instructor.
    He now has the Level 2 BASI qualification but has been unable to get work anywhere as everyone wants instructors with 2 years' experience! There are fewer opportunities with the recession reducing the numbers going skiing/snowboarding and companies have their pick of longer-qualified people.
    He can't even get bar work now and is supplementing his JSA with on-line poker, which means that he is up half the night and comatose for half the day and we hardly see him!
  15. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    Your children are not barred from claiming JSA (Income Support) because they live with you!
    They cannot claim Housing Benefit (even if they pay you something for Lodging) but they can claim the Personal Allowance element of JSA, which is £67-50 per week if they are 25yrs or over and £53-45 per week if they are 24yrs or under.
    The truly needy won't get any more because your children decide not to make a claim!
  16. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    It's actually important for unemployed people to make a claim for JSA so that can get free NI credits towards a State retirement pension. Failing to make a claim, especially when they might be out of work for a considerable time, may disenfranchise them in other ways too before retirement age.
    If eligible for JSA Income Based, they will be able to get help with travel costs to interviews some distance away and will also be eligible for free NHS services.
  17. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    Yes they are barred from claiming Job Seeker's Allowance because one is working (minimum wage) and the other is a full-time student - but with no loan etc - in fact no income, but he is not (cannot be) seeking work because he is in college full time.

    When they were unemployed they did claim JSA - but their friend who cannot live with his family could also claim other benefits to enable him to pay rent and utility bills which mine don't have to pay.
  18. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Dear Jubilee, reading about your son has given me no hope! Having my son at home and jobless at 30 is the stuff of nightmares!
    His loss of self-esteem tugs at my heartstrings. He doesn't feel he can attract any girls because he has nothing to offer, despite his good looks and personality. Let's face it, girls want a man of substance.
    Being out of work and still living with your parents is the reality for an ever-growing number of our young people, despite their best efforts, and it saddens me.
  19. God what a thoroughly depressing thread! I truly feel for anyone affected by unemployment. I remember being unable to get a job after university back in the late 80s. I was so depressed and low, living at home again, my friends had all moved on in their jobs and were doing well and I was, well, unemployed. I got so low that I had to have counselling. Eventually, I did an intensive secretarial course and managed to land quite a good job in administration. So I guess the moral is never to give up. However, I do feel so sad for all our young people who work their butts off, pass their exams, go on to university and end up on the dole. My daughter, only 14, says she wants to go to university, but I really don't know whether to encourage her or not. I feel uni is worth it if you are studying dentistry or medicine, or something health related, but arts / humanities ?? She is bright but would she be better off studying hairdressing or something similar which will give her a skill? Such a difficult time for everyone.
  20. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    My mum regularly gets upset that I can't find work, it must be hard as a parent for your child to feel like a failure.
    To have spent almost 20,000 on securing my degree/PGCE to be turned down for shop work as I'm 'over qualified' is soul destroying. I hate that my partner pays for everything.
    Luckily I have 1 days stocktaking work at a local DIY shop so I can buy him a birthday present, otherwise it would be a case of "How much of your money can I spend on buying you something for your birthday?" which I think would have ended any shred of dignity I had left.
    (We've left the UK 4 months ago for his job so I can't claim any JSA etc, hoped it would be easier here but its not looking that way yet...) x


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