1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice
  3. The Teacher Q&A will be closing soon.

    If you have any information that you would like to keep or refer to in the future please can you copy and paste the information to a format suitable for you to save or take screen shots of the questions and responses you are interested in.

    Don’t forget you can still use the rest of the forums on theTes Community to post questions and get the advice, help and support you require from your peers for all your teaching needs.

    Dismiss Notice

Uh oh

Discussion in 'Personal' started by autumnleaf2, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. autumnleaf2

    autumnleaf2 New commenter

    I lent my friend a large sum of money, she now says she can't afford to give it me back!! I'm so angry ... I don't know why I'm posting really.
     
  2. autumnleaf2

    autumnleaf2 New commenter

    I lent my friend a large sum of money, she now says she can't afford to give it me back!! I'm so angry ... I don't know why I'm posting really.
     
  3. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    Can you afford for her not to pay it back?
    Could she make small installments to pay it off?
     
  4. Sit her down, draw up a payment plan, commit it to paper and have someone witness it?

     
  5. autumnleaf2

    autumnleaf2 New commenter


    Yeah that was the original agreement, now she's just saying she's ill whenever I suggest meeting up. I really need it back as well, I'm so upset she's done this to me.
     
  6. stopwatch

    stopwatch Established commenter

    ... and then threaten to send the boys in, break her legs and give her a pair of concrete boots followed by a dip in the ocean.
    a direct approach always works.
     
  7. autumnleaf2

    autumnleaf2 New commenter

    She was going to pay me back £200 this month and then told me she could only afford to pay back £100 now keeps saying she's ill.
    I just wish she'd talk to me.
     
  8. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    Did she buy anything of value with the money? Would she sell it to pay you back?
     
  9. autumnleaf2

    autumnleaf2 New commenter

    It was just for debt repayments as far as I know, she just isn't communicating with me now, I feel like an idiot.
     
  10. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Sadly, she ceased to be a friend the second you lent her the money. Write it off now.
     
  11. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Have you tried going round, or are you phoning? Comfort yourself with the fact that you are a kind friend, and chalk it up to experience. She's obviously got problems with debt [​IMG]
     
  12. autumnleaf2

    autumnleaf2 New commenter

    I guess so I just can't believe she's done it to me, it was nearly £600 which obviously is a lot of money and I'm really short now. How can people live with themselves, it's not like I'm a big multi national business.
     
  13. It doesn't necessarily mean she is a cow. She just may not be in a position at the moment to pay you back and is feeling guilty (thus avoiding contact).
    Send her a payment plan - keep it to low monthly installments.
    However - I suggest you write it off.
    Never lend money if you really need to have it back.

     
  14. I had a friend call late one night last week needing a place to crash. (They live elsewhere and had missed their train), I waited up and showed them to the bed i'd made up for them when they eventually arrived around 1 in the morning. I also had someone else staying with me who is like a brother. Me and 'brother' leave the house at 8 to go to work together, 'brother' gives me the £60 he borrowed the week before - I pop it on the kitchen side and follow him to the car after running a cup of tea up to the other friend. Other friend is left to mill around the house as he has no work on that day. Get home, go straight to the kitchen, money gone. Needless to say he is no longer a friend which were the simple words I sent in my text, that £60 cost him my friendship. Its a shame after 5 yrs but some people are quite simply ***. Write the money and the friendship off, name and shame.
     
  15. Most people do this type of thing through desperation rather than choice, however, she should hve made arrangements to at least give you something. If she was a decent friend it would be her desperately trying to get hold of you to explain what she could give you (however little it was) and when she could give it to you!
     
  16. autumnleaf2

    autumnleaf2 New commenter

    Yeah but she promised me so many times she'd be giving me back £200 then £100 then nothing, I'm sorry I guess I'm just not in a position to be understanding at the moment!
     
  17. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    You don't need to be understanding; you are right to be condemnatory
     
  18. Nothing to be sorry about, I expect that I would be less understanding than you :)
     
  19. Yes - and she has let you down.
    When you lend money, you need to expect that you may not always get it back.
    This is why you should never lend money if you cannot really afford it. Often, you have to write that money off.

     
  20. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    You never know, you might get it back one day, but I suspect, until your friend gets some proper help with her problems. it won;t be any time soon.
    Feel free to rant away, you must be very cross indeed.
     

Share This Page