I reallly need stories of hope to help me through this. My story - warning contains tmi but I need to share this somewhere. Description of miscarriage may be upsetting! After 18 months of ttc, referral to fertility specialist, various tests no obvious issues and 3 months of clomid we actually got a bfp naturally ( the month after we finished the clomid). We were over the moon and so excited this was our first pregnancy. The pregnancy was going really well until 9 weeks 2 days when I suddenly got brown discharge. Only light and only when wiping but the next morning I called the midwife. She said not to worry quite common, ok as long as not red blood or pain. Later that day I began bleeding lightly but brown (old blood) so midwife still not worried. Overnight cramps started and midwife booked scan for following day. Told at this point that 70% women bleed during pregnancy so try not to worry. Pain got so bad That afternoon and bleeding so heavy (by now bright red with clots) i ended up at A&E where a lovely kind dr did and internal exam and explained the pain was contractions and my cervix dilating. During this exam she removed 'fetal tissue' and confirmed I was miscarrying. I was offered choice of staying on ward overnight or returning home with pain relief. We went home - I wanted to be at home with oh, my mum. ( who was staying with us for a few days - my poor mum, this was to be her 1st grandchild) and my dogs. The painkillers helped with the physical effects but I was emotionally numb. Next day we returned to hospital for the scan which confirmed womb empty, just thickened lining left to pass - which should pass naturally, like a period in a few days. From start of brown discharge to end of bleeding it was all over in 6 days, no more baby, no more dreams of being a mum in February and no more deciding how much maternity leave I was going to take. We have been told this is just bad luck and we can try again as soon as we want to as my miscarriage was natural and straightforward ( I think this was intended to be comforting). Miscarriages happen to 1 in 4 women during their reproductive years is what we have been told. Also risks increase with age ( I am 38) and if you have been tic for 12 months or more you are also higher risk for miscarriage. All of this makes me very nervous about trying again. We really want a baby and OH is keen to try again as soon as I feel ready but I am just so scared. The only positive I can find is that apparently you are more fertile immediately after a miscarriage or birth and also that miscarriage rates are lower if you conceive again within 6 months of your loss. I am scared I won't be able to conceive again after trying so long last time and also so scared that if I do get a bfp that it will end in miscarriage again and I don't think I am strong enough to go through all this again. I guess I am hoping that there will be people on here who have had similar experiences to me but who have gone on to have success with a healthy baby. My friends and family don't feel comfortable talking about all of this as they are worried about upsetting me - surely it is normal for me to be upset? I was almost a quarter of the way through my pregnancy and looking forward to my 12 week scan. We paid for a private scan at 6 weeks and saw a healthy heartbeat which makes what happened even more of a shock but at least I have 2 photos as a keepsake of our baby. There was no warning anything was wrong i had all the usual symptoms of pregnancy right up until the end. I am really sorry if I have upset anyone who reads this but I really need to share it somewhere and I have always found this forum to be very supportive. Sorry for such a long post and apologies if this ends up as one big block of text as I am typing on my iPad(safari).