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trying to tackle my food phobias

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lazybum, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. This isn't my usual user name as I actually feel quite embarrassed by what I'm about to tell you.
    I have decided, at the age of nearly 50, to try and tackle some of the issues I have surrounding food. Basically, at the age of 8 and a half I was taken into care (voluntarily by my parents and I don't blame them one bit for it) and my life just totally changed. I was made to eat lots of food (like liver) that I had never come acorss before, to the point of having to face it for tea, then breakfast and then tea again and so on. I was also force fed, then force fed my own vomit when I refused to eat what was put in front of me. In addition, I used to put food into my pockets and then flush it down the toilet or just throw it on the floor. I then used to sneak down in the middle of the night and steal food from the cupboards that I felt comfortable eating (this was mainly sweet food).
    I have come to the conclusion that maybe I was controlling my food intake as a way of having some control over my life. I was given no explanation at the time that I can remember about why we had been taken away from our parents, and this was an extrememly traumatic time. I had just moved from near Glasgow to Manchester and the first thing I remember about the nun who was my 'carer', was her laughing at me. It was this nun who used to hold my head and force feed me. Others used to just shout at me etc.
    Anyway, now I am older, I have a good appetite for food that is healthy (and not so healthy), carry a little extra weight but am being held back by my total panic when trying to eat some new foods. For example, I will never eat things like cabbage, cauliflower, liver, cooked onions unless I have then really small, and other foods, however, I am scared of trying foods that I have never eaten before - like celery. I am just so scared that I am going to be sick as soon as it goes in my mouth, however, with the help of my extremely supportive boyfriend, I want to try and tackle what I consider to be a food phobia/eating disorder. I have decided to try one new food a week, starting with celery.
    To help me express my feelings, and get support (yes I admit it, I want pats on the back for being a brave girl) I am considering writing a blog. I don't know whether I can do this.
    I don't even know wny I have decided to say all of this.............but.........every journey begins with a single step....and maybe this is it.
    Thanks for reading.
  2. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    fair enough
    I would also recommend not eating brussel sprouts, kidney, tripe, octopus, ostrich, anything by fray bentos and those weird indian sweets that taste like slightly off sugared grease.
    celery is okay though.
    it can be used as food or as a handy stick for poking things
    sprinkle with salt
    good luck

  3. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    Lazybum very sorry to hear of those abusive moments of your childhood. Quite horrid. However you seem well placed to recover, you have reached a point where 1. You wish to. 2. You have support. 3. You have good self awareness.

    These three things will allow you to move forward. As you have reached fifty and survived see the next thirty years as an opportunity to discover the delights of some foods. Remember though even those of us who did not suffer as you did as a child hate some foods. Slow discovery of new tastes is a delight and will enhance your latter life. Good luck x

    ROSIEGIRL Senior commenter

    A blog sounds a good idea ... you could use us a starting point/tester.
    Your childhood sounds horrific - I am in awe of your positivity!
    I hope you have fun trying new foods - look upon it as an adventure!
  5. You should have a pat on the back - you are taking enormous steps to overcome the trauma of a horrible childhood. I applaud you.
    You will have fun trying new foods; if you're starting with raw celery try the tender stalks in the middle. The outer stalks can be a bit tough and stringy. If you decide you don't like it try again with celery cooked in a bolognese sauce for example. Do this with each new food - try cooking/eating it in different ways.
    Also, try foods that have no association with the past - don't try and fight two battles at the same time.
    Good luck.....you will find there are some lovely foods just waiting for you to discover them.
  6. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    I have issues with many foods, as do both my chidlren, for entirely different reasons to you.
    When discussing it recently with the youngest's paediatrician, she told me that she heard somewhere that it can take many different tastes of a food, before you actually know whether you like or not.
    I have to admit to not really understanding your desire to try new foods, as part of my problem is that I won't try them, and have absolutely no desire to - even when I sometimes know how essential it is.
    You will probably feel a lot more anxious before you feel better, which is perfectly normal.
    But it is a good thing that you want to tackle it. Goo luck.
  7. Wow. I definitely think you deserve a pat on the back. Really good luck :)
  8. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    You deserve a pat on that back for surviving such dreadful abuse and trauma. It is a wonder you eat any food at all!
    If it is any consolation, as we age we lost our taste buds - this is why kids are more sensitive than grown ups to new foods.
    Only try new stuff when you are really hungry though. And don't bother with liver, it is not that good for you anymore. Food that is cooked is much easier to eat than raw food and the smell of cooking plus being hungry can tempt us to try things we would not usually relish.
  9. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Good luck!! If you blog you must put a link on here - you can keep your anonimity. Food is such a weird thing - it can get so tied up with our psychology.
  10. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Well done on your determination to overcome what was done to you in the past. With your positive attitude and the support of your OH, you have every chance of succeeding.....and deserve lots of pats-on-the-back!
    Take each new food as a new adventure. Some you will enjoy, others you won;t - but there will always be the thrill of having done it - even if your decision is 'never again!' for some!
    Remember that preparing/cooking a food can alter it considerably. And your first choice - celery is a good example of this. If you don't like it raw - then try cooking it - it makes great soup - or sauted as a veg.
    Don't be disheartened if you find foods you just can't eat....I don't think I could physically eat an olive....and I don't think my life would be enhanced one iota by eating one other!....However I went for decades without eating corn - and last year took the plunge (with the help of fellow foodies over on Cookery!) - I still don't like the tinned stuff - but am quite looking forward to the crisp, crunchy fresh variety coming into my veg box!
    Keep us up-to-date on your journey!

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