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Trying for a baby and going for promotion - Help!

Discussion in 'Pay and conditions' started by itzybitzy, Jan 7, 2012.

  1. Hello KS3english - I know the dilemma but I would suggest you need to assess the situation as it currently is - you are not pregnant; you want a career move - so go for it. If you find yourself pregnant in the new role, so what? The school will have had the best part of 9 months input from you before the birth and will continue to benefit from your skills assuming you intend to return? Hope you get both of the things you want.

  2. Perhaps you can help explain a few things to the sane minority -
    I can put the answer in my PhD on education - it may help in the diagnosis of a new mental illness - [or not so new - it is called Histrionic personality disorder or "being a normal British woman"]
    Now if this truth [and it is fashionable to have a blind spot to this, as with so much in this cowardly, childminded cool obsessed age of self-entitlement (of material comfort) and self-denial of oh so many personal flaws] doesnt have the fascist censors banning important ideas from being discussed - perhaps the following big picture shall ensure that true moral conviction and it's expression - must be "moderated" into oblivion - along with the rantings of the other Galileo-like "crazies" who surely should be locked up right? Lest the moronic masses connect the dots, and realise what is obvious to anyone not too drunk to face reality.
    Remind us again how maternity pay is not theft from the tax payer? Just because something is provided by law doesn't mean it is morally right. When has the law ever been a reflection of what is demonstrably moral? It should be - but then why would access to the best lawyers be dependent on abundant wealth?
    Here we are in a failed country - a society broken beyond cliche - with the threat of imminent world environmental disaster - purely due to the population, I should need not have to mention - and what do we do to those criminals who add to the problem -
    give them a huge bonus -
    incentivise the destruction of our planet
    incentivise those without morals and responsibility - to breed -
    now there is the assumption - wrongly made - that all teachers are Guardian reading liberal cliches, who not only think Political Correctness is a good idea - but in fact would invent it, if it weren't already there to champion (unfortunately not in a fictional parody of a joke nation).
    These are the ones who, in a few years shall be more reasonably and correctly remembered by an informed reflective history as "enemies of the people" and perhaps charged with crimes against humanity - as shall feminist teachers who currently destroy the lives of as many boys pass through their temples of legalised gender hatred - the British and American school system.
    Now before those feminazis (if they actually read this - there is no doubt most teachers are)
    try and have me tortured and executed as is their natural calm balanced gender-harmonised response as rational good mothers - [in the face of unfortunate facts that no carpet is quite big enough to completely have them swept under]
    Your unlimited ego - with its arrogance and sense of entitlement - together with your collective uteri are destroying our planet - you know "our" meaning the sane ones too - including a large number of sane women who realise this - without the histrionic levels of pathological arrogance required to assume you must reproduce yourself.
    Sadly the number of non-breeding women, though large - is not large enough to have a voice - as the powerful scums net, I mean mums net mob, is speaking on their behalf - labelling the non-breeding anti-overpopulation sane few as some sort of enemies of humanity - without a sense of irony, let alone one drop of self-awareness and mature selfless consideration.
    How much do you already hate the unborn to want to create life into this world?
    This is not just "my opinion" which can be made to disappear by the facist, free speech hating moderators of the Times. Soon enough you shall get your way anyway - as you kill us all in a global war, with pandemic flu, starvation and climate change - each purely down to population.
    Being teachers and surely educated - am sure you all remember the philosopher Kant - who said a moral action is easy to recognise -
    if everybody did this act - everybody in the world -
    would it bring chaos or harmony?
    Now you consider that when trying to get pregnant and tell me who is really evil.
    Be a brilliant mother - and go on the pill
  3. More to the point - you might well find it hard to even get your next job if employers sniff the possibility of maternity pay on you in the near future! I have come across this as a 30 something year old woman with no intention of starting a family. Also, I judge from your name that you teach English - getting a English job (a very female dominated subject) as a woman of child-bearing age is a bit like the holy grail. Try it out - but fingers crossed there's not a half decent male candidate goes for the same position!
  4. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    there is such a shortage of English teachers round here (Berkshire) that it wouldn't hold you back in the least.
  5. Don't want to get too personal but are you having fertility treatment/ medical investigation? A year is quite a long time to try and nothing to happen. Given that and if you do get the promotion then then the focus on the new role/new workload means it might be more unlikely that you get pregnant. How would you feel about that?

    In terms of maternity benefit, for statutory maternity pay you have to have been employed by the same employer for about 6 months before your 25th week. Not sure how occupational maternity pay works but I'm sure one of the union websites would clarify this. If it is the same you would only need to "wait" 6 months before trying again. Not really that long, especially if you have a new job.

    In reality your decision should be based on the fact that you are not pregnant now, so I'd probably apply otherwise you'll always think what would have happened?
  6. Sorry if you disagree Badgergirl - maybe we have had different experiences but this is certainly something I have seen a lot of. Moving jobs as a female in the 30s bracket can be a bit tricky and I have heard lots of comments about wanting to even up the gender balance in English departments. Obviously I can only offer comments based on my experience/knowledge - I haven't gone out and collected "evidence". But then this is only a discussion forum. Weren't you getting frustrated last year going for interviews and just not getting them? (we discussed our situations on the job seekers forum then). I wish the OP good luck, just offering words of caution.
  7. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Yes but that was HOD positions and I'd say as many went to women as to men, to be honest. It was a lack of experience that seemed to be the tripping point, not gender.
    I think occasionally all other things being equal it might give somebody an edge but I don't think it would keep a very good candidate out of work. Besides, I was shortlisted for all the jobs I applied for and they must have known my gender and had a good idea of my age from my GCSE/A level results!
  8. Random175

    Random175 New commenter

    I think you need to think about what life will be like with a baby. People change their minds about their priorities in life after the birth, and you may equally take a new job with more responsibilities and realise you want to spend more time with your baby. Also your absence level may well increase as babies get ill frequently.
  9. kemmy

    kemmy New commenter

    My recent HOD was off on maternity after having the position for 3 months and she came back after her maternity leave. She is doing fine and was able to lead the department with confidence. If you get the HOD, the second in department would take over so the department won't fall apart.
    When I had my second child, I was in position of responsibility. For me it was a lot of hard work, with sleepness nights and having to run a department, after getting few hours of sleep. Both jobs, HOD and being a mum would really drain you out. I eventually resigned and looked for teaching with no responsbilty until when my children are older.
    It really depends on how much you can handle and the support system you have around you. I don't think that you want to sacrifice being a mum for any job. You would always have a second chance to go for a promotion. I think for health issues, it is better to have your children younger. Go for the promotion and keep trying for your baby. But I think having a baby should be the priority as family should come first. Just make sure you have a bit of savings, or a good credit card for the raining days.
    Good luck!!!
  10. I had been trying for a child for three years when I applied for my dream job - the one I went into teaching for. I was asked to interview and the day before interview I got a positive pregnancy test. I did the decent thing and withdrew from the interview saying I had got pregnant and it didn't seem fair to possibly start a new role I knew I'd be leaving. Two weeks later and I miscarried. If I had my time again, I'd have gone for that interview. You don't know how long it will take you to get pregnant and in the meantime you may as well do what you want to do or you may find yourself in the same position in five years time with no family and a job you have started to resent.
  11. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    I was in this situation and got it horrendously wrong! I didn't want promotion but did want to move schools - stayed put because I thought it would be unfair to a new school to arrive and go off on maternity leave soon after. However, the pregnancy never happened, stress levels got worse and I ended up leaving my post without another to go to.
    It depends what is most important to you. If you've been trying for a year that is a real cause for concern and I'd strongly advise that you seek medical advice whatever you do on the job front.
    If you do get pregnant it doesn't have to be an age before you get looked at for the next step up - you can apply for promoted posts while on maternity leave or soon after your return. Heads will be looking for the best person for the job, not the age of your children.
    Good luck.

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