1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Top tips for planning a wedding!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by half term, May 8, 2012.

  1. I got engaged at the weekend and we are now starting to think about the logistics of it all, which is a bit over-whelming to say the least. Have ventured onto a few wedding forums and they are very scary, thought you lot might be a bit more sensible about it all.
    It's going to be small, church first (OH's families parish church) and then marquee reception in his aunts garden which is 3 miles from the church. Have chosen bridesmaids and they've accepted and guest list will be around 60 people. No date set yet, but summer next year, so church booking is the first thing to do right?
    Already have an over-bearing MIL who loves me but wants to stick her oar in, so tips on handling her appreciated. Doesn't help that OH and her don't really speak.
    My mum is dead and father won't be invited so brother giving me away and sister is chief bridesmaid.
    I want it kept simple and fun!
    (Used to be Hellvixen)
     
  2. I got engaged at the weekend and we are now starting to think about the logistics of it all, which is a bit over-whelming to say the least. Have ventured onto a few wedding forums and they are very scary, thought you lot might be a bit more sensible about it all.
    It's going to be small, church first (OH's families parish church) and then marquee reception in his aunts garden which is 3 miles from the church. Have chosen bridesmaids and they've accepted and guest list will be around 60 people. No date set yet, but summer next year, so church booking is the first thing to do right?
    Already have an over-bearing MIL who loves me but wants to stick her oar in, so tips on handling her appreciated. Doesn't help that OH and her don't really speak.
    My mum is dead and father won't be invited so brother giving me away and sister is chief bridesmaid.
    I want it kept simple and fun!
    (Used to be Hellvixen)
     
  3. EcoLady

    EcoLady New commenter

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!
    Sounds like you have it all in hand :) Church first, start looking for caterers, and then The Dress. Get a BIG lever arch file with sections for dress, cake, invitations, flowers, etc. Go to wedding fairs to get lots of ideas, but you'll need only a couple of wedding magazines before info starts being duplicated.
    Enjoy! :)
     
  4. Congratulations! I got married a year ago. I kept a folder for receipts and booking confirmations etc, that was very handy. I also used a company who sorted out the decorations, chair covers, stationary and cake in one go. That was fantastic knowing that my one payment covered all of it. We also used companies who were recommended by the reception venue. X
     
  5. PS - with the MIL - just say 'that's a lovely idea' and move on. But remember it's her son's wedding day too and she probably would love to help a little. X
     
  6. bristolmover

    bristolmover New commenter

    I tend to listen and say 'ok' a lot and then do my own thing anyway.
    I got engaged a few weeks ago, wedding is in Oct. I don't intend going to any wedding fairs or forums and certainly won't be keeping a lever arch folder! I understand that is the fun part for some but the way I see it, you have chosen a church and venue, guest list and bridesmaids, the rest you just google search, phone and order... It can be as much or as little work as you like. We're calling in favours for example. We have cars from friends, friends dj-ing, my sis-in-law is making our rings, my sis is doing my hair and mum is making the cake. We've got our favours, have a church and venue in mind... there's not much else left!
    Enjoy!
     
  7. angiebabe

    angiebabe New commenter

    Oh half-term (Hellvixen) congratulations - is the lucky man someone we know? Remember me (could have been ladymary)? We used to have such fun on here!
    Whilst I see what bristolmover is saying, it would be a good idea to write down who is doing what etc so that you dont have to keep it all in your head.
    About MIL, dont squeeze her out. Think of a specific job for her and let her have fun with it eg favours. If you have something in mind then of course tell her that so that she follows a theme etc.
    Look forward to hearing all the details in due course. Good luck honey xx
     
  8. My son got married last year and I think they got it just right. Everything was kept really simple and it was a beautiful day. Each key person had a job to do, I did the cakes, my daughter did the table settings, the bride's sister did the flowers, a friend took the photos etc. My top tip would be to look at the talent of those around you and involve them in the process, especially your MIL - she needs a job!! Costs are kept down and it felt really special and intimate. Keep us informed - good luck xxx
     
  9. chocolateworshipper

    chocolateworshipper Occasional commenter

    Congratulations to you!

    My main tip is to keep remembering that it is YOUR day (you and OH) - so not to pay any attention to people that want you to do things differently, or who are in any way trying to interfere. Another tip is to pay as much you can afford for a photographer. My brother went for a cheap one, and really regretted it. The day passes so quickly, and the photos are your memories..

    I think previous advice about giving MIL a job to do is excellent. As suggested - give her a job that she will feel is important, and will keep her busy - but not something that is critical to you. Why not also phone her up every now and again and ask for advice on something (should I do A or B - when you are actually not bothered about whether A or B is best). She will love you for listening to her advice!

    Other advice - if you are thinking about having your bouquet framed - be aware that the flowers will look nothing like they did on the day (unless the process has vastly improved in recent years). I had beautiful red roses, and stupidly didn't realise that they would end up colourless. A big waste of money!

    Above all - the day should be fun, not something you can't wait to have over and done with because you are so fed up with all the organising!
     
  10. No tips to give but HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO and CONGRATULATIONS! (I guess this is the horsey bloke?)
    Give my love to your sister and the wee girl (who will maybe not be so wee now!).
    Have missed you both! xxx
     
  11. Many congratulations.
    Weddings cost... so be sure of your budget.
    Get a notebook ....... sketch pad. Some files for keeping all info together- receipts etc.
    Decide on your style. Glitz and glamour or simple elegant or simple casual or themed - there must be others but something will spring out at you.
    Once you have your style in a mind map bubble - make mind maps to get the thinking down.
    Essentially, its all about the ceremony ..... and the celebration afterwards.
    People, how many, who, what to do with them, feeding them, entertaing them, keeping them comfortable.
    Book the marquee if that is a definite and get the catering basically planned. These might need to be booked early.
    Then think about you. I wouldn't rush into dress buying. Just take note of what styles you like as you do your research.
    Be open minded as you gradually refine what you want. It should then all come together.
    All the best.
     
  12. Thanks for all your messages - some good tips!
    CQ - hello!!!!!! I think my sis still reads from time to time, but doesn't post. I'll pass on your regards :)
    We have the choice of 2 churches in the family parish, so will contact the vicars this week and see what dates there are available. I would like August but I guess it depends! OH seems to think it will be easy to get a date but I'm not so sure.
    Think we are going to go with red and cream for colours. Very simple, small and intimate I hope!
     
  13. modelmaker

    modelmaker Occasional commenter

    The first time I married, I was a little surprised that when it came to the speeches, the next door neighbour of my father in law stood up to give the bride's father's speech. Apparently, my father in law felt shy about speaking in public.
    Many years later, when one of my daughters married, I found myself having to give the speech. I had no difficulty composing it, but from previous experience of talking to a large group, I knew there was a danger of feeling self-conscious and embarrassed. If you think about it, the giving of speeches at a wedding is expected to be an important part of the day, yet how many grooms, best men and bride's fathers prepare properly and make it a memorable event?
    My younger daughter attended an amateur dramatics group, so I hired the group leader who was quite an experienced actress to go through my speech with me and help with the presentation. It was the best 30 quid I'd spent in years. There were so many subtle things she helped me with that made all the difference in the world. I delivered the speech with confidence, had the entire audience's attention and found people coming up to me for the rest of the evening to tell me how much they'd enjoyed it. I doubt that without the guidance, many would have picked up on the jokes that litterred the speech.
    It occurs to me there is a market here for teachers looking for a bit of spare time cash. Not only drama teachers, but anyone who can give assistance in putting a good speech together.
     
  14. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Groom's and Best Man's speeches - NO POWERPOINTS.

    My oafish nephew ran two of the bloody things at his wedding.

    Make sure the formal photographer has enough personality to keep people on cue, in order, and smiling, otherwise it will take forever.

    Ask one or two friends who are competent amateur photographers to take 'behind the scenes' candid shots during the day - they're often the best photos of all.
     
  15. I am. I have missed you :eek:) xxx
     
  16. Cestrian

    Cestrian New commenter

    My mum had the job of posting out the invitations and keeping a record of who accepted etc, mother-in-law had the present list to give out if people asked and kept up with that. I'm sure yours will be glad to help in whichever way you ask her. Congratulations, by the way! [​IMG]
     
  17. Congratulations!


    My advice is to go easy on the wedding fairs and magazines and avoid the former if possible. Rational women get sucked in to spending hours and wads on stuff like wedding favours that express their individuality and the specialness of their day and that inevitably get left on the table in their scores by their guests.


    Decide what is important to you and your OH and focus on that. Don't be distracted by the endless "Aren't you having a live band/video/ fire-eating dwarf?" comments.


    Happy people make for happy weddings. If micro-managing an extravaganza is your thing then go for it but don't be bullied into it if it isn't.


    Have fun!
     
  18. If you're having a 'formal' wedding think about the guests. Keep the gap between the service and reception as short as possible because people (esp those who have travelled long distances) will find it hard to kill time.
    We had the service at 4pm reception at 6pm IIRC - it was 1979!

     
  19. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    Congratulations! We had our civil partnership last year so I'll try and pass on what we learnt.

    1) Decide your budget and if you can put it in a separate account and then everything comes out of there and you can keep track of what has been spent etc.
    2) Try and combine things if you can - we had a sweets theme for our wedding. Each table was named after the big bowl of sweets which formed the table decoration. We bought tiny serving spoons and bought those spice jars from ikea. We wrote each guest's name on a label and a personal message from us on the back, laminated them and tied them to the jar. Et voila - table decorations and self-serve favours in one!
    3) If you want to make certain things yourself start ASAP. Utilise friends and family to fold and envelope invites/cut ribbon to length/laminate labels!
    4) We bought a big but cheapy frame from ikea and made a photo montage of us and everyone invited to the wedding. It was personal and our guests loved it.
    5) We printed our menus and on the back wrote some Q about us (how we met, where we were going on holiday, how do you know us etc) which served as conversation started for our guests who were sat with people they didn't know.

    6) Most importantly - on the day you won't care if the little things don't quite go to plan. They didn't start our ceremony exit music on time so we ended up reversing up and down the aisle a few times before it started - we ended up dancing down the aisle and our friends were cheering and whooping. Much more memorable!

    Just enjoy the planning and do as much as you can as soon as you can - it'll come round quickly!
     
  20. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    ^ sorry - I wrote this on my iPhone.
     

Share This Page