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Toddlers, Tantrums And Tenancies.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Jude Fawley, Dec 2, 2019.

  1. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    I totally understand a disturbed night’s sleep is horrible and ruins the following day and makes you feel rubbish. However, I’ve been ‘that’ parent on the other side of the wall, cringing at the noise and wishing, praying, pleading for the child to be quiet. It is mortifying, especially when you bump into the neighbour the following day. I hope you, the child, AND the mother get a good night’s sleep tonight.
    Jamvic and grumpydogwoman like this.
  2. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    Jude, you'll survive this. Tantrum was probably not the best word to use - tantrums last for less than an hour and are triggered by denial of instant gratification on rhe whole. Not a pretty sight, and one that wiill bewilder and fascinate any non-tantruming child in the vicinity, even if they've been in the grips of one five minutes earlier.
  3. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    You sound as though you have never had children Aqua. That is all I can say.
  4. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    Jude. At least you are on talking terms with the mother. Do show her the white noise generator. There are lots of them on the internet and on mobile phones. All the best.
    Jamvic and nizebaby like this.
  5. Nellyfuf2

    Nellyfuf2 Established commenter

    I feel Jude's pain. I had one child that had episodes of night time crying, (teething baby) but not for four hours! And another that had terrible itchy eczema - but no for four hours!
    There's calpol. There's massage. There's going downstairs with the baby and having a cup of tea so the baby isn't waking the neighbours upstairs. That sort of thing. Is this a single mum. She might need a bit of help from her health visitor. (Are there any?) or Sure Start workers. Something. Anything.
    You need to be kind and then say, this is a big problem for me. Say it. Say I can't cope with your child crying from 1 to 5 am. If it happens again.
    Take her flowers and say it.
    She needs a rocking chair, or calpol or ice lollies in the freezer (for teething on). And you will have to put the radio on and get ear plugs. Or she needs to move the bedrooms round so the toddler is far far away from you. Or you sleep downstairs. With the radio on. Radio Four is good late at night.
    Could be worse.
    Could be drug crazed night shift rap lovers boom boom late at night. Snarling at you when you bang on the door and threatening you with machetes.
    nizebaby and (deleted member) like this.
  6. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    hee hee!
  7. Pageant

    Pageant Occasional commenter

    To those who need a hygienist:

    GET A WATER FLOSSER. Best thing I ever did and when I went to the dentist a couple of months ago he didn't need to do anything, no scaling. Best (dentist recommended) thing I ever bought. No more infections requiring antibiotics due to large pocket between two teeth that nothing could fully clean and now no need to scale :) (smug smirk)
  8. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

  9. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    You do rather get the feeling the posts have been skimmed through, don't you. :rolleyes:
  10. Jude Fawley

    Jude Fawley Star commenter

    I am that drug-crazed night shift rap lover. In a few years time that kid will start school and that's when I get my revenge: pump up the volume.
  11. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Stoppit! Its a child! Say three Hail Marys and take those chocolate pennies round!
    TCSC47 and ilovesooty like this.
  12. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    That's a good idea. The little brat might choke on them.

    There was a toddler in the supermarket this afternoon who started screaming. It goes right through you, don't it?
  13. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    No. The screaming of another toddler not yet old enough to control its response to slight hunger, mild tiredness, righteous frustration has no effect on me whatsoever unless pity for its poor adult companion.
    When my one grandchild did it, it tore me in half.
    coffeekid and Jamvic like this.
  14. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I read years ago that humans are hard wired to be alerted to a child screaming. I expect all animals are able to hear when their young are distressed in a similar way.
    nizebaby and Jamvic like this.
  15. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Distressed. A wolf is coming for me. My carp parents have failed to catch a mouse for me to eat AGAIN. My marmee has been eaten by an eagle. I am all alone.


    Tbh, DoY, the hardwired response in me is a slap, which Im apparently not permitted to administer anymore.
  16. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    It's just as well that nobody suggested I went into teaching children, because I'd have hated it. My own daughter was an absolute pleasure to raise, but every other kid I've encountered has been a nightmare.

    It isn't just the screaming. Why do they have to run everywhere, especially in the supermarkets? Why do they need to do random stuff like star jumps and the like, when I'm trying to get past the little bleeders.

    Didn't supermarkets ought to have some sort of age verification system that prevented anyone under sixteen from entering?

    Surely it isn't beyond the wit of mankind to devise a system where at the supermarket entrance, they take the kids off you and issue a receipt for them, like you get from a cloakroom attendant, so you could get your kids back when you're done?
    bombaysapphire likes this.
  17. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Haha, it is one of the joys of looking after littlies to me that they run when they might as well walk, climb a wall just to jump off it, skip, swing round lampposts, for no reason other than the joy it gives them!
    Oh god. I'm going to break into Wordsworth.
    Jamvic likes this.
  18. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    May I respectfully disagree with you Duke. I enjoyed every single minute when mine were babies, toddlers, and at school. I would quite like to have checked mine in to your imaginary cloakroom at 16 and collected them at 22. These years are BY FAR the most challenging. At least if they are screaming in their bedroom you know where they are!
  19. Nellyfuf2

    Nellyfuf2 Established commenter

    We've lost parenting skills. Now people have small families or raise kids alone. And they feel judged too a lot of the time. We hothouse kids and helicopter them. Poor mites get observed at play as soon as the get near an educational establishment. Kids under microscopes.
  20. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    Of course you can disagree with me. @Over_the_hill. There's no point in making a potentially controversial post if nobody disagrees with it. As I said though, my kid wasn't the least problem.

    Of course there were times when she kept us awake when she was teething or whatever, but I remember the advice my mother gave when she was born, which was "You can't spoil a child with love."

    It's difficult to put into words what the relationship I had with my daughter has been like. Let me try and describe it as one where is she was upset enough to scream. I was there to comfort her. Wherever we went, I'd pick up the signs that something was amiss with her before it ever came to tears and deal with it, without the need to resort to treats to distract her.

    We built a bond of trust in which I would always be there for her to offer advice, but never be so oppressive in my advice that she felt obliged to follow it if she didn't want to.

    She's 38 now and time's running out before she steps up to the plate to look after me. I have absolute faith in her that if I manage to survive my sweetheart and need help in my old age, she'll be there, doing whatever needs to be done in the same no fuss way she enjoyed as a child.

    I think you're probably right. I remember relating before about an occasion when I entered Sainsburys and watched a toddler climb out of a trolley and could see what was going to happen, but was too far away to prevent it. The child tumbled out of the trolley amd smacked his head on the marble floor. While he was doing that his mother was staring at her phone. Goodness knows why that was more important to her at that time, that couldn't wait until they were safely back home.
    Lalad and Jamvic like this.

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