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Toddlers, Tantrums And Tenancies.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Jude Fawley, Dec 2, 2019.

  1. Jude Fawley

    Jude Fawley Star commenter

    Well, it looks like I'm down another days income of £120.00 because the family next door have a two-year old who always comes back from her father's after a weekend away and screams from around 1 a.m. through until the dawn.

    I appreciate that women get conned into pregnancies by incompetent men and then leave those men and start up again and that the family dynamics is damaging for all concerned.

    Now I'm going to have to take tomorrow off because I've had so little sleep. But who's going to pay my rent this month? I'm nearly sixty! I went to bed at 9 p.m. because I had to be up at 5 a.m. to get everything done if the day was to run smoothly. I also have a check-up at the dentists at 4 40 p.m. so won't be home until around 5.30 p.m.

    But I can't see myself getting much work done today.

    The child's two so, in theory, only a couple more years until the tantrums stop.

    They're nice enough people but I knew something was seriously wrong when they arrived and started putting those tacky 'LOVE' lettering signs on the front door and around the garden.

    Time to invest in some earplugs.
    alex_teccy likes this.
  2. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    That is upsetting. I hope the child isn’t unwell and that the single mum is coping with the stress of caring for a distressed baby, throughout the night all by herself. Earplugs do sound like a good idea for you.
    knitone, coffeekid and TCSC47 like this.
  3. Laphroig

    Laphroig Lead commenter

    @Jamvic, I spotted the passive aggression in your post, or at least that is what it read like without the nuance of facial expression and tone of voice. Yo7 make a very valid and reasonable point but do the needs of one party outweigh the needs of all other parties affected?
    caress likes this.
  4. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    No passive aggression, I do feel sorry for the distressed baby and for the single mum and for Jude. I do think that earplugs would help Jude with his part of the problem. There are some really good ones on the market now that form to the shape of your ear and are very comfortable.
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019
  5. Pageant

    Pageant Occasional commenter

    My lovely niece had the misfortune of picking the wrong man to marry and have a baby with. Her little boy is of little interest to his father who insists on his dad time because HE decides that one night a week is his right and he's going to uphold that right on principle if nothing else - if snooker or fishing or football get in the way he thinks nothing of cancelling.

    Whenever her little boy comes home from dad visits (2.0 pm Saturday to 2.0 pm Sunday - his choice) he is so tired there's nothing anyone can do with him. Bed time doesn't exist in dad's house. It's when little boy falls asleep. Routine means nothing.

    Maybe your neighbour's child has a similar useless dad.
    bombaysapphire and ShowerGel like this.
  6. Weald56

    Weald56 Established commenter

    There are lots of different types of noisy neighbours, and not all have young children.

    For example we used to have a neighbour who put their dog out into the (small) garden early in the morning, late at night (even, occasionally, in the middle of the night) to 'do its business. And left it there, barking madly, for 10, 15 or even more, minutes. Great!
  7. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    If I lived next door to a 2 month old who screamed and cried all night from just after one until dawn, sure I'd be really annoyed at the sound disruption, but on some level Id think "hey ho, it's a baby, it wont be a baby for ever"
    But if i lived next door to a 2 year old who screamed and cried all night from just after one until dawn, then I'd call the police.
  8. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    There will be many parents teaching in school today who have been up all night with little ones
  9. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    I'm not sure you're going to find much sympathy on a teaching forum,Jude!

    Fear of being told off for being off drives many teachers to go to school after having spend most of the night being ill and having very little sleep.
  10. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    They'd be better teachers if they hadn't been up all night. I'd have been a better mother if my second had slept more than two hours at a time with a two hour break in between until he was 4. I never left him to scream though, for the reasons Jude gives.

    Them's the breaks. I wonder how nurseries cope with kids who've been up all night. Do they just let them sleep all day? Must be tempting.

    It doesn't sound like earache Jamvic, if it happens every time. Earplugs it is.
  11. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    I didn't think Jamvic was being passive aggressive. I was just thinking myself how dreadful for the neighbour and the little girl. I thought JF was being rather miserable towards his neighbours. It is not easy bringing up children, but somebody has to do it and the rest of us should be grateful as it is these children who ill be paying our old age pension.
    Jamvic and coffeekid like this.
  12. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    The earplugs suggestion is a good one. I rely on them. I'd get no sleep, ever, if I didn't use them all the time (I'm a very light sleeper)
    Jamvic and grumpydogwoman like this.
  13. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    Jude, have you ever come across the white noise generators you can get on your mobile? I was amazed when I saw the effect on two of my grand children in getting them to sleep. You just switch the things on to make a noise and it lulls babies to sleep. Rather like we "sushh-sh-sh" them to calm them but supercharged. The classic example is that Wayne Rooney has to have his vacuum cleaner running to get to sleep.

    I don't know how you could inform your neighbours about these things diplomatically but you could try. They may be very grateful but don't use your forum persona. Lol!

    These devices appear so effective they worry me a bit. Nappy changing, colic, teething and such should be attended to rather than just rely on these white noise generators.

    Just one example of many on utube but you can get apps for your mobile phone.

    Jamvic likes this.
  14. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Earplugs are a good idea.
    Jamvic likes this.
  15. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    My grandchildren used to be put to bed with a youtube thing of what sounded like a torrential rainforest downpour. I could never work out how to use it at my house but they slept fine anyway.

    I think Jude has every right to feel disgruntled. There was oodles of sympathy recently fot a poster whose upstairs neighbour had an autistic child who stamped and screamed all night. It does have a masive impact on others. OTOH, Jude, one night a fortnight? It doesn't sound like she has much control over the situation.
    Dodros, nizebaby and monicabilongame like this.
  16. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    It was the way that Jude said it with apparently little empathy with the neighbours. It will be much worse for them. Many of us have had to deal with those nights worrying about our babies who can not explain what their problem is to us.
    Jamvic and grumpydogwoman like this.
  17. Jude Fawley

    Jude Fawley Star commenter

    I did manage to get to work and started for 11 a.m. I left at around 10 a.m. and the little tyrant was in the garden oblivious and happy. Her mother looked worn out and we didn't get a chance to speak.

    I wouldn't have said anything anyway and just been polite and said it was no bother. But I'm seriously reconsidering those chocolate 'gold coins' I'd planned to get the little one for Christmas!

    She's just a little child and I've heard (and now I really have heard) they go through this around two years old. The walls in these old cottages are so thin and the doors are just planks. Industrial earplugs on my list. At least they're tax deductible.

    In all fairness the mother did warn me when they moved in and it's not been too bad but last night was hard work and she's not even my kid. I suppose they're just trying their best to get through it. If you pander to them they learn to get attention. And it wasn't dawn anyway. It was off and on from around 1 a.m. to 4 a.m. or thereabouts. It's only dawn in summer.

    Thankfully the neighbour on the other side has no plans to move. Imagine being sandwiched between two families: nightmare.

    And it wouldn't have been too bad but I also had to go to the dentists after work which changes my routine and cuts heavily into my down time.

    Again, the dentists. I don't mind the pain but it's the humiliation that gets me when they keep on "so you're still smoking" etc.

    Anyway, I'm home now and that's another one less day.

    The hygienist tomorrow for forty minutes and more nagging and then driving home in the dark.

    Plus I have to go out next Saturday morning for about five hours. I've not been out on a Saturday morning for about twenty years. It's uncivilised!

    Busy week.
  18. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    That's the one I hate. Good luck for tomorrow!
  19. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Yebbut... it's their kid. Anyone embarking upon parenthood must know theyre kissing 8 solid hours goodnight for years. Not sure why that should make it anyone else's prob.

    Edit: kids don't wake up voluntarily and scream. Ive never met one who wouldn't rather have been asleep at that hour. Please don't withhold the chocolate pennies. She's 2. Nothing anywhere, anytime, anyhow could possibly be her fault.
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019
  20. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    I hate the hygienist too. £48 every three months!
    primarycat likes this.

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