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Toddler behaviour advice

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by lucchese, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    Hi all
    I have a little boy aged 16.5 months and am 22 weeks pregnant with no 2. My LO started walking 2 months ago and since then (and being exhausted due to pregnancy) I have really struggled to look after him and keep him under control. I have always been happy to go with the flow and let him explore his surroundings without keeping him under too tight a control and for him to socialise a lot with other babies as I was (and still am) very shy with other people so don't want him to grow up like me!
    However, this week he has really become what I consider to be unmanageable and I am really struggling to hold it together. Monday and Tuesday he has two full days at the childminder's and this week she took him to a baby and toddler group each day and found him difficult to control, throwing things at people and becoming overexcited. When I got him home he was untreatable as so overtired. Yesterday morning I took him to Sing and Sign and he was pushing other toddlers over, climbing on them and generally looked out of control with a kind of crazed look on his face. I then went to a cafe for a coffee with friends and had to leave after 10 minutes...
    He is having a lot of tantrums and is very clingy. He pushed over his breakfast stuff this morning and nearly caught my nearby mug with hot tea in. He is very frustrated and unstable and I am now trying to address how I can discipline him more as I will be unable to take him out to other people's houses/stay at my mum and dad's if he continues in this vein. He is also teething a lot at the moment and sleeping very erratically so I know he is generally lacking in sleep. My OH has also been away a great deal for work (and will continue for the next 2 months). He has also recently starting saying a lot of words so there is a lot going on at the moment. All these things (and my exhaustion) are contributing to this behaviour, and I need to find a way of tackling it that is effective so I can cope a bit better. Apart from the fact that I hate badly-behaved kids, I am worried he is going to hurt himself or someone else if he doesn't calm down.
    Any advice/experiences most welcome.
  2. Been there! Oldest two are only 16 months apart. Is there any way you can nap with your son during the day, so you both feel more rested and relaxed? Otherwise there is nothing wrong with using a DVD to have some quiet down time with him. The same familiar few films, repeated, will be more relaxing than a new one each time. My daughters loved Peter Pan and 101 Dalmations. I put them on the sofa with a blanket and invariably one of them would nod off during the film. Your son is probably testing his boundaries at the moment. That is fine, but you are responsible for letting him know when enough is enough. A structure or routine to the day helps young children know what is expected of them. You could also use counting down and time outs to let him know when his behaviour is not acceptable. Most of all, good luck and congratulations.
  3. hi lucchese.

    kids hey! lol! don't panic though as sure this is all very normal! my lo is 16 months and can be a handful at times. She is eating at the moment (her favourite thing to do!) so is silent!

    don't want to patronise but does he have a nap in the day? my LO is such a different child if she hasn't had a nap. She normally has between 2-3 hours before lunch.

    I think that removing him from the situation is the only thing to do. He will then learn not to do it.

    Its so hard isn't it. Its a funny age where they aren't babies anymore but they're not old enough to explain too!

    keep smiling and try to remain calm (incidentally we have a wall hanging now which says 'keep calm and carry on' - we never needed this before kids!)
  4. I read your post and really wanted to say you sound like a fab mum! I always take a toy bag and snacks when out (both my kids lose it if they get hungry!) is there anyone who could take your LO out to feed to ducks or splash in puddles when it's raining?

    My eldest was on high dose steroids for a health issue when he was a toddler. Phew steroid fuelled tantrums are the best! Deep breath, stay calm and always have a consequence. If you keep doing this then x will happen. Ps I have been known to hide in the loo or have a quick rant to myself in the kitchen whilst my LO is in the other room. Remember it doesn't last forever. My eldest is now a healthy 8!
  5. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    Thanks to all for your replies. I think LO is going through a massive developmental spurt at the moment and is terribly overexcited... Hopefully it won't last long (the bad behaviour that is!) but it's so fun to hear all the new words and witness all his new tricks. Today the childminder said that he was particularly bad and had to calm him down with quiet time. We had less tantrums over the weekend though thank goodness. x
  6. atwoodfan

    atwoodfan New commenter

    Sorry you're feeling so exhausted. I'm expecting too so know how hard it is to look after a toddler at the same time! Does your LO know about the new arrival? They may partly be sensing something going on. My LO is older, but also got very clingy / demanding for a while when my pregnancy started to become obvious. I hadn't made the connection at first, but after a while, as nothing else had changed, I wondered if pregnancy (and being more tired / less full of energy...) were part of the problem.
    Now we have excitement / overexcitement about it all, after a lot of talking / reading books around.
    No real advice I'm afraid, but naps / DVDs / fresh air / help with "jobs" e.g. getting them to dust etc. might help and maybe also burn off some energy? Good luck...

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