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To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy'

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Hattiesmores753, Jan 4, 2020.

  1. Hattiesmores753

    Hattiesmores753 New commenter

    I Live in the UK and I am middle class.

    Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class) but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

    None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

    I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing?

    Is it more of a privilege thing? Working class don't have much money so are weary of being judged as lazy by not doing children's hair? Is it that they also make an effort to dress children nicely so that they don't look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

    Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

    Please only reply if you live in the UK and are middle class.

    Thanks Hattie.
    BetterNow likes this.
  2. Hattiesmores753

    Hattiesmores753 New commenter

    I'm middle class and tbh we are not much better than the families I am describing. Has anyone else noticed this either?
    BetterNow likes this.
  3. needabreak

    needabreak Star commenter

    Interesting observation, I noticed that too, mainly in London and originally decades ago now, so that's two of us.

    Could it be that working classed parents are more concerned about accusations of neglect and social services or do they simply uphold values that middle classes no longer care about? I also noted that the latest designer bag or latest pair of trainers was more immediately gratifying to w/c people (myself included at that time), than say saving for a Victorian Terrace or holiday home but I know that is due to expectancy theory, in other words they think it's never really its achievable so make themselves happy with things they can afford in the shorter term, it's why even before Right to Buy kicked in you saw plenty expensive cars parked on London council estates... aspirations yes, longer term? Often not.
    freckle06 likes this.
  4. Laphroig

    Laphroig Lead commenter

    Define middle class? Are you serious?
  5. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Mumsnet shorthand here... did you ask them too?
    knitone, Laphroig, install and 3 others like this.
  6. LondonCanary

    LondonCanary Star commenter

    Copy and paste job. Step talk too.
    knitone, nomad, install and 1 other person like this.
  7. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    i got confused by all the abbreviations!
    knitone, ms honey, nomad and 3 others like this.
  8. needabreak

    needabreak Star commenter

    Does that mean someone posted this thread on mums net?
    install likes this.
  9. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    What is dd short for?

    Why are you telling who may and may not post on this thread?
  10. LondonCanary

    LondonCanary Star commenter

    Word for word..
    Jamvic, nomad and install like this.
  11. LondonCanary

    LondonCanary Star commenter

    Darling Daughter.
    (You can take a guess at DS)
    nomad and install like this.
  12. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    I'm middle class so I haven't brushed my hair since 1986.
  13. phatsals

    phatsals Established commenter

    Get lost. Twit.
  14. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    I have noticed it. I have directly asked my own son if he ever brushes his daughters' hair (they're old enough to do it themselves now but they have tangly curls so make a halfassed job of it). I annoyed my non-working and now ex-d-i-l by mildly suggesting their clothes would look better ironed. My 5 yr old granddaughter comes to mine after school in Wednesday and after I once polished her shoes because they were filthy, now cleans her own shoes every week because they look so nice.

    Two things: one, working parents are time poor. You have to prioritise. If everyone's in the same boat, no one's looking down on you for having scruffy kids.
    Two, quite a lot of the m/c young parents at the school gate I attend have an attitude that ironing, hair-dos, matching clothes etc are all a little bit beneath them, a bit plebby. It is true that a lot if the working (well, non-working) class kids are more smartly turned out but if you aren't rushing off to work you've got time. And as my grandmother ysed to say when yanking my hair into some kind of order and berating me for a wrinkled sock, "Poor but proud".

    You could call it mutual support, making a virtue out of a necessity.
  15. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    dd=darling daughter?

    How crimgeworthy!
  16. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Hey! Get with the project, nizebaby! Have you never visited Mumsnet? Such is its influence, at my last school there was a noticeboard in the staffroom where people could anonymously post gripes of the "please do not put empty milk cartons back in the fridge" type. It was called AIBU?
    nizebaby and install like this.
  17. phatsals

    phatsals Established commenter

    Please define 'middle class' and 'working class'.
    Laphroig and install like this.
  18. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    If you really don't know, you could google it.
    BetterNow and install like this.
  19. install

    install Star commenter

    What are you defining as 'middle class' ? I may be too Upper Class to reply...
    Jamvic and cassandramark2 like this.
  20. needabreak

    needabreak Star commenter

    Oh, don't use mumsnet, is there an issue with that?
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2020
    install likes this.

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