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To settle or not...

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by cornflake, Dec 10, 2019.

  1. cornflake

    cornflake Senior commenter

    I really can't decide what to do.
    Has anyone ever declined a settlement, and gone back to work .... successfully?
    I can't tell if my indecision about what to do is because of my illness, or some other reason.
  2. rooney1

    rooney1 Occasional commenter

    I was still questioning my decision 5 minutes before agreeing but for me it was probably the only option as things were so difficult. I too, was still ill and hoped that I was well enough to make the decision. It was the right decision for me although I still resent that I was put in that position.
  3. cornflake

    cornflake Senior commenter

    thank you - I really appreciate the time you took to reply, and hope that life is now good for you
  4. starlightexpress

    starlightexpress Occasional commenter

    If it’s reached the final stages of a SA, I’d continue with it. There’ll be strong reasons why you’ve progressed it to date and keep going with this ‘gut’ feeling. It will give some form of ‘ending’ which, in time, will support recovery from your illness. Look to your future. Do all you can to make this the best for you.
  5. dunlisnin

    dunlisnin New commenter

    Walk away. Take the settlement and walk away.

    They will not allow you be successful if you try and stay...Walk away.
    Take the settlement and walk away.

    It seems wrong but they don't pay unless they have to. They pay only when they have to, usually (from what I can gather) because they have done something wrong.

    Walk away. Take the settlement and walk away.

    The younger you are the better. They will invariably be older than you if you are young. They will retire or get a settlement of their own eventually.

    Take the cheque (or whatever) bank the money. Have a rest get better. Stress can make you physically ill you know.

    Take the settlement money and walk away.
    jiin71, Marshall, FollyFairy and 6 others like this.
  6. littlejackhorner

    littlejackhorner Occasional commenter

    I agree with @starlightexpress . The most difficult thing for me was agreeing with the union to try for a settlement agreement. Once the details came through it was a relief to sign it. To have left it and tried to go back to work would have felt like taking a step backwards. Although there is some sadness in the finality of it, it also helps to draw a line underneath and allow you to move on with your life. Good luck for the future @cornflake whatever you decide.
  7. Bedlam3

    Bedlam3 Star commenter

    I would imagine going back to work successfully is very rare. The fact that you have been offered a settlement indicates that there is a rift between you. If you were to go back things would be different for a long time and how would you trust your employer and them trust you? If the settlement is good enough then it might be better to take it but I suppose it depends on what you want for your future and your own personal circumstances. Will the settlement cover you until you find something else if you need to? Will whatever caused the rift happen again if you were to return? Would you be happy returning? If you've been off for a while one can sometimes forget how crappy a job is, all the same issues will be there, they don't go away.
    Marshall and agathamorse like this.
  8. jellandy

    jellandy New commenter

    @cornflake ~ I'm mindful of your other posts over the past 12 months, am reading between the lines - putting 2 and 2 together and hoping I'm wrong! But if I'm not, then I absolutely feel your pain and suspect I have been very close to where you are now. No-one knows exactly what any other colleague is feeling or experiencing, but I've seen so many colleagues be forced out by 'the system' and think it so wrong. Now is the time for you to think purely of yourself and make any / every decision with your very best interests and needs as the main and only priority.

    I am proud to say that I have facilitated colleagues returning to work successfully after such an awful experience and have delighted in seeing them thrive in a much more healthy environment. When the time is right I have every confidence that such an opportunity will be available for you.

    Rest, relax and let it all go: recover and feel better. Then when the mist starts to clear and sun breaks through, keep your eyes and ears open..... you'll be surprised at the opportunities you will see.
    Marshall, agathamorse and cornflake like this.
  9. cornflake

    cornflake Senior commenter

    Thank you to each and every one of you. I am in tears at the kindness of your replies.

    I am in the early stages - the offer on the table is too low for me to accept financially. Letting go is so hard ... especially when it’s being driven out because I put children and staff wellbeing first. How can it have come to this?

    Throughout this process I have been humbled by the support of others - whether in person or on TES. That people have given time to share their stories or advice - or even just empathise - means a great deal. Thanks.
    Marshall, bevdex, Bedlam3 and 4 others like this.
  10. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    Taking an SA does not mean you can never return to teaching, just that the relationship between you and this particular school has ended badly. Letting go IS hard - it's a kind of grief you feel at the loss of something you have dedicated yourself to - and also a loss of you sense of self. But you can recover and move on from this.
    You are being offered money to leave, and since being there has made you so ill, the alternative is to leave without anything.
    You say the offer is too low. This may be the case and it will be at least open to negociation. Many things will affect the outcome of that negociation, some of which you will not know about. So ask yourself how much money you will need to survive on until you can work once more. Then add a bit on (as a negociating position) and speak to the union.
    Take care of yourself.
  11. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    Use the union to negotiate . They will know the "going rate".
    Going back is only possible if both you and the school can change enough to meet in the middle. You I guess need to banish anxiety and recover. That may only happen if the school can adjust enough.
    Good luck
    Marshall likes this.
  12. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    The union will have invested a lot of time and effort into negotiating a settlement agreement.

    If you now go back to work and things do not pan out well, I suspect that the union will be reluctant to give you the same support a second time round.
    ilovesooty, install, Marshall and 2 others like this.
  13. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    I don’t think you’d easily get a settlement a second time. I think if it’s got as far as negotiation then the other side will want you to accept and it would be very difficult not to go this route. Try to negotiate up a bit then see if you can reconcile yourself to it. It will feel very unfair but might be the only real choice.
  14. cornflake

    cornflake Senior commenter

    Thank you all - and I understand and take on board these points.
    Curae and nomad like this.
  15. rooney1

    rooney1 Occasional commenter

    I didn't find it hard to get work in schools once I was well enough. I was offered work by headteachers who knew what had been done to me so I went to work for one of them. I was lucky not to have to go down the supply route although I could have done. I did get as far as ringing some agencies. I think that now it is so common for teachers to be 'moved on' that provided you are what a head wants you should be able to get work. I dont think staying at your current school would be very easy. I certainly couldn't have stayed at the school I was at. Good luck with what ever you decide.
    agathamorse likes this.
  16. ridleyrumpus

    ridleyrumpus Star commenter

    My friend stayed but myself and my union thought it only a matter of time.

    4 years later, and 4 years pay later, the union and myself were proved correct
    agathamorse likes this.
  17. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Negotiate up. Stress that you're keen to go but you can't and won't on current terms.

    They want rid? And they do. So they're undiscriminating and stupid bar stewards? Most likely. But you need out and they want you out - even if they're wrong to do so.

    Hold out for more. Spin it out. But they're just playing silly beggars at this stage. They know they have to go higher. Don't fall for it. What are they? Wolves of Wall St? I don't think so. They just think they are. Take 'em to the cleaners.
    Daveh1981, agathamorse, Curae and 3 others like this.
  18. thebookyouwish

    thebookyouwish New commenter

    Not exactly the same situation but I was told in an indirect way that my services were no longer required earlier this year as I was part time.

    The union fought for me and I'm still there. They still don't want part time workers (I am the only one) and I am not having the most pleasant time.

    I am now pretty sure they are going to try and get me out through other ways as they still need to reduce staffing - so now worried longer term about reputation and reference.

    I comfort myself that every pay check is a bonus but it would have been better for me if I could have made a clean break with a good deal and a good reference.

    Unfortunately that wasn't on the table for me - if you can get something decent grab it.
    agathamorse and Curae like this.
  19. ridleyrumpus

    ridleyrumpus Star commenter

  20. tenpast7

    tenpast7 Occasional commenter

    My advice, put yourself first- that is what SLT do.
    Marshall and Curae like this.

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