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To move or not to move

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Bonnie23, Nov 25, 2017.

  1. Bonnie23

    Bonnie23 Occasional commenter


    So some of you may have seen previous posts of mine. For a while now I've wanted to move to Scotland to be closer to my family. Eventually a job has come up (and they don't come up often where my parents are) that's very close to them but the job is at quite an awful school, I've heard about the behaviour there and there's a lot of improvements to be made. Even in the news there's a lot of issues where the police have had to get involved.

    I'm in a bit of a trap at the moment; do I move to be closer to my family while taking a job where my main focus would be 'crowd management' or

    stay at a good school where I have a lot of respect but miss my family a lot but get to visit them during the holidays?

    I've never worked at a 'bad' school, I don't have particularly strong behaviour management skills because I've never needed them.

    I'm now 26, it's getting to the point where I want to start looking to buy a house and make permanent plans.

    Any advice?
  2. pepper5

    pepper5 Star commenter

    I can only write from my own perspective as a supply teacher who has worked in schools where the behaviour is excellent to the truly awful.

    Therefore, I would say avoid that school because you will find it ever so stressful. Even those who have excellent behaviour management schools get to breaking point. There are some teachers who thrive in schools like that, however, since they enjoy the challenge of making change and seeing things improve.

    You might have to think of another plan. Could your parent move closer to you? Could you move somewhere closer to your parents, but perhaps not in the same town - something within easy travelling distance.

    Stay put is what I would say as once you get into challenging schools you open yourself up to mental health issues and stress. It can be truly, truly awful and I haven't even been in ones where the police are called on a routine basis.
  3. Trendy Art

    Trendy Art Star commenter

    As I understand it:
    1. Going home, near parents but awful school
    2. Stay at a good school but only only able to visit in holidays
    I agree with @pepper5 - it would be incredibly demoralising EVERY working day to go in. And you would risk your wellbeing and career.

    Be patient - you have already - wait to take the right opportunity and you will be rewarded.
  4. Bonnie23

    Bonnie23 Occasional commenter

    Thank you Pepper. I just started a course of anti depressants and was recently diagnosed with depression/anxiety order during the summer holidays. I'm feeling 100% better now but it's not something I want to go through again and I don't think a situation with such a bad school will make things better. I'm just worried about letting my parents down, for years i've talked about moving, now a job comes up and to turn it down I feel like I will be letting people down.
    pepper5 likes this.
  5. secretteacher2357

    secretteacher2357 Occasional commenter

    Look at it from a different perspective: would your parents feel let down if you were to have a breakdown and couldn't work? Wouldn't they feel guilty about you moving to work in a terrible school because of them?

    I spent a lot of years in a very bad school. While it honed my behaviour management skills, it also nearly took me to breakdown on several occasions, and that doesn't include the results of physical assaults from students.

    Don't do it.
  6. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    Never mind letting your parents down, do you want to move?

    If you do, then apply for this job but keep looking. Remember there are no resignation dates in Scotland and you only have to give 4 weeks notice not the months and months English schools seem to demand.

    If you've made your peace with where you are and want to stay there, your parents will understand. They want you to be happy.
  7. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Which will make you happy?

    For me, there is no contest, decent job wins out every time, but I don't have any family outside of my OH.
    In a truly horrid school you'll be working all the hours God sends, so won't get to see your folks much anyway, and will be seriously unhappy when you do.

    However, if being away from your parents is making you ill, then move back nearer and think nothing of it.
    Maybe apply for the post and get yourself an interview. You can always withdraw once you've taught your interview lesson if it is as horrific as the papers say. You might find you love it.

    Go for the job and see what happens...you never know.
    Lara mfl 05 and Bonnie23 like this.
  8. pepper5

    pepper5 Star commenter

    You will not be letting your parents down. They want you to be happy and healthy and your parents would be crushed if they knew you would be working in an awful school where you would be depressed again. My heart goes out to all those teachers working in schools like that throughout the UK and only they and their families know the mental turmoil they face each day.

    If are now just recovering from depression the last thing you want to do is work I an awful school.

    Take secrettecher23's sound advice. Don't do it.

    Think of another plan and be patient. Another local school might advertise - one with a better environment; or, as I said earlier, you could move somewhat closer or your parents could move.
    Bonnie23, Lara mfl 05 and drvs like this.
  9. Weald56

    Weald56 Established commenter

    Speaking as a parent (one of whose 2 children lives 350+ miles away), can I just say that post #4 really answers your question in post #1. It would be sheer madness to take a job at the school with the problems you outline.

    Just don't do it. Honestly.
    Bonnie23 likes this.
  10. drvs

    drvs Star commenter

    Stay, build a life of your own, visit your family. Best of both worlds. Winner.
    Lara mfl 05 and pepper5 like this.
  11. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    Don't move to a school with challenging behaviour if you don't have the behaviour management skills for it, especially if you suffer from anxiety or depression.

    Why are you letting your parents down by waiting for the right opportunity to move?
  12. drvs

    drvs Star commenter

    My money's on prodigal's guilt.
    Lara mfl 05 and pepper5 like this.
  13. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    Either way, apply for the job. If you get an interview, raise your concerns about behaviour and ask what the school have in place to support staff.
  14. drvs

    drvs Star commenter

    ... and then ask some of the serving staff what the school really has in place to support staff.
  15. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I think you know the answer. Or you wouldn't have asked the question.

    You don't want to work in this school.
  16. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    In my experience some schools are rough but it brings the staff together and others can have lovely behaviour from the pupils but lots of venom and tension between the staff. I honestly think they key here is how Bonnie feels about moving - she shouldn't decide on the basis of the school. If she has to wait for the perfect job she should do that waiting where she wants to be.
  17. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Don't believe everything you hear, nor everything you read/see in the news.

    Apply and get yourself an interview and then decide.
    Bonnie23 likes this.
  18. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    On reflection?

    Hope to get an interview.

    Nothing to lose.

    Because it is true that schools with dodgy reps aren't always the hellholes they are rumoured to be.
    sabrinakat, Lara mfl 05 and Bonnie23 like this.
  19. Bonnie23

    Bonnie23 Occasional commenter

    Thank you all for your advice. I am waiting for a good job, where I can teach in a relaxed atmosphere where behaviour isn't a problem.

    The job advert only came out today so I think I have some time to do some research and see. There are other factors such as how big the department is, if they will accept that I can't start until Easter etc.

    Particularly with my subject (DT) behaviour within classes can be dangerous with the wrong students.

    @Flere-Imsaho it's the location that I messaged you about very close to my parents, you said that it was a rough area. Talking to people in the area when visiting my parents, news articles, even your warning has made me think twice.
  20. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    I thought it might be! No doubt it's a rough school but you've posted stuff about your current school which make me think it's not quite a bed of roses either.
    Bonnie23 and Lara mfl 05 like this.

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