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To leave or not to leave?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by looloo38, Apr 13, 2011.

  1. looloo38

    looloo38 New commenter

    Hi all

    I need some kind advice...

    I'm not having a good time at my school at the moment I have quite a few problems with the school and I think I want to leave. I have started looking at other schools hoping that I will find what is missing at my school, but it is such a gamble! Besides deciding on whether to stay in my job or not I also want to start a family with my husband, this is another problem to add to the pot. This is because i now have to consider whether starting a new school and then getting pregnant fairly soon is fair to them? Friends say - having a baby is most important and I shouldn't worry about what employers think, I am legally entitled to maternity pay therefore it shouldn't be an issue - but...being the worrier I am... I do care about what people think and I know that it wouldn't look good!

    So....should I stay, put up with my issues and have a baby here or...go be happier, have a baby anyway and not care what the new employers think????????????

    Please, no harsh comments - in a sensitive position here : (
    Thank you x
     
  2. looloo38

    looloo38 New commenter

    Hi all

    I need some kind advice...

    I'm not having a good time at my school at the moment I have quite a few problems with the school and I think I want to leave. I have started looking at other schools hoping that I will find what is missing at my school, but it is such a gamble! Besides deciding on whether to stay in my job or not I also want to start a family with my husband, this is another problem to add to the pot. This is because i now have to consider whether starting a new school and then getting pregnant fairly soon is fair to them? Friends say - having a baby is most important and I shouldn't worry about what employers think, I am legally entitled to maternity pay therefore it shouldn't be an issue - but...being the worrier I am... I do care about what people think and I know that it wouldn't look good!

    So....should I stay, put up with my issues and have a baby here or...go be happier, have a baby anyway and not care what the new employers think????????????

    Please, no harsh comments - in a sensitive position here : (
    Thank you x
     
  3. chocolateheaven

    chocolateheaven New commenter

    Am on phone so I apologise for brevity and lack of paragraphs! I changed schools as I was up for redundancy and my school was closing down, but I really wanted to start a family. I started at new school in september, waited until if I fell preg on first I would be able to day of ttc I would be able to finish school year before taking maternity, so started ttc in dec. Fell preg first month, due sept. School have been really supportive. HT actually said that babies were more important than any job and you couldn't put life on hold for a job. I found waiting til dec really hard as I wanted it so much, but actually really glad I did as felt better than I would have done having to take maternity before end of year. At end of day you don't know how long it will take, but school will deal with it even if you're preg on 1st day in sept. Decide what you are comfortable with and do that - conceiving is too important, starting a family is too important to allow anything to get in the way, but taking maternity from difficult school environment would be really hard. Them again, staying in horrid job when ttc could in theory take a year our more isn't ideal either. Think I've just rambled on, sorry!
     
  4. looloo38

    looloo38 New commenter

    Thank you for your advice its nice to hear someone has been in a similar situation. Yes I was planning to do exactly what you do - conceive in Dec for 2 reasons - one...as you know best time to conceive due the amount of maternity pay you receive and second...it means taking no leave in my first year..that way at least I would be with them for a year. However I am aware that it would be a miracle to conceive exactly when I want to.

    Thank you for the advice xx
     
  5. chocolateheaven

    chocolateheaven New commenter

    Miracle or not, it's what happened for me! I wouldn't count on it, but it's truly wonderful when it happens. My reasoning was, some people would only do a yr in a job before moving on, and therefore it's not taking the p in the way that taking leave sooner would have felt. As I said, school have been fine about it. I am much happier in current job than last, and I'm really pleased we put plans on hold so that I'm able to take maternity from somewhere supportive, somewhere that I'm happy. Makes things SOOOO much easier! Can only speak from my personal experience, but I'm very happy with the decisions we made.
     
  6. you could start TTC now and apply for jobs and if you get pregnant, stay where you are and enjoy being away from school but paid. if you get a job then stop TTC til december :)
     
  7. What an amazing HT- mine said that the children in our classes shoudl take priority over our own !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  8. PS You have some good advice here- if you are truly unhappy, look for a new job. Dec is a long time to wait so I like the idea of trying now, and if you are lucky, staying put.
    All the best x
     
  9. kittenjames

    kittenjames New commenter

    i was in the same position as you a couple of years ago. i left my job as i was miserable there (school has subsequently gone into special measures) and began ttc in the october at my new school, it didn't cross my mind what anyone would think. ultimately you're talking about bringing a new life into the world which is bigger than any job. i worked from september 09 to november 10 and became SLT in that time. i worked really hard and demonstrated my commitment to my job and i'm going back part time (LO was born in january) later in the year. don't worry what others think, just do your job and do it well, the rest is none of their business IMO! good luck.
     

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