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To go or not to go

Discussion in 'Personal' started by MissSmiley1, Dec 21, 2010.

  1. <h1>Ive been chatting to a man on a dating website and have arranged to meet him tomorrow in a public place. This is the first time ive ever done anything like this and Im starting to feel quite nervous about it! What are your views on it? Have you got any tips?</h1>
  2. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    If I hadn't have done it myself I wouldn't be happily married to the man I am now.
    Make sure you feel comfortable that where you are meeting is safe.
    Be prepared for the best or the worst to happen. Thing is - what is the worst? You have to put up with the company of someone you don't like for half an hour, then you make an excuse and never see him again.
    Nothing ventured.....
  3. My tips


    Have a good time

    Do not expect too much
  4. grandelf

    grandelf New commenter

    GO, stay in the open and public places.

    I kinda did the same with my OH and a bit later we have moved in together and looking forward to our 1st real Xmas together!

    Oh and you are going for a MEET not a DATE. No date = no pressure or expectations!
  5. Ok, thanks for the support everyone.
    Yeh were going to a public place. He has offered to pick me up but I've said I'll meet him there. It's lovely that some of you have met and stayed with someone. It's hard finding places to meet someone decent!
  6. After my first husband left and went abroad some 20 odd years ago, I had 2 kids to raise, a PGCE course to complete and had no intention of getting into a serious relationship for some time. I was actually on my own for over 10 years in pre internet days; this was when the personal ads in the local paper were the nearest thing to today's internet sites-when you place an ad and people sent a letter in response to a postbox number; then the paper forwarded on any letters sent to your add.This meant you had quite a bit of control as you didn't even need to respond to any you didn't like the look of (green ink for psychos etc!!)
    I met some really nice people-some through these adds and also got invited by a woman to join a local social group she ran which then meant that there were a few of us to make up a team for a quiz etc and somewhere to go on new years eve! It meant that I had the semblance of a social life when my horizons seemed to be very narrow. Actually decided to make more effort to get a real social life when my youngest was soon to leave home for uni and I was worried that my life would just consist of school, home and dogs.
    Met my OH on a blind date that summer and we have now been married for nearly 10 years. I had quite a long conversation with him on the phone before deciding to go ahead and meet him-at a nice pub that served food etc. We sat outside and just had a coffee; I went home and he phoned me the next day and we spoke for 2 hours on the phone, but I didn't see him again til the next weekend. Two weeks later we were spending most weekends together and moved in together a year later!
    I would echo what the others have said. Meet for a coffee, just as you would meet a friend; if you find you really click, you could always have a bite to eat, but there's no need to rush into anything.
    I have however witnessed/supported some friends who have had scary experiences with men who turned out to be pathological liars with stalker tendencies-for this reason I would like to add some general advice.
    If you want to be secure about any meets in the future, you could arrive early so that he does not know your car registration, and also wait until he has gone before you go back to your car. The other advice is the usual anti stalker stuff-don't let him come anywhere near your home, or know where you live until you are sure about him. If you are at all nervous how about asking a discreet friend to come along as if they didn't know you and sit at another table nearby.
    We have even gone to the same pub where a newly divorced friend was meeting a bloke she chatted to on the internet and sat at a table nearby to look after her-it was quite fun really as it was probably the nearest we got to playing 'spooks'. Obviously the bloke didn't know we were there and my friend got a bit of support when she needed it most -we even had a 'signal' if she wanted to leave (she found this one quite boring actually but met and eventually married a really nice bloke she met through a dating agency).
    Other advice is to use a pay as you go mobile and only give the new bloke that number, so that if the bloke turns out to be a weirdo, you don't have to go changing your proper phone number and the inconvenience of having to let everyone else know -and it's easy enough to get a new sim card to use the phone again.
    Best of luck and as my big sister (who also met her new bloke in the same way) says just remember you may have to kiss an awful lot of frogs before you find a real prince ![​IMG]
  7. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Hey, that's my wee saying [​IMG]
  8. Met 2nd husband on internet 13 years ago when it wasn't the done thing. We were together 9 years and bare still friends.
    Have met two other long-term bf on t'internet.
    Met Mr c on internet and I am happier than I have ever been in any relationship before. He makes me laugh and smile and I love him so much.

    Had a few duff dates but this was more about lack of chemistry/attraction than them being weirdos or anything.

    Go have drink/coffee and enjoy and see what happens.
  9. Go for it, what have you got to lose? Met mr pink on facebook and couldn't be happier [​IMG]
  10. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    I like using that one for internet dating too. Thinking that every loser gets you one frog closer to your prince is what kept me going!

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