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Time out/naughty step

Discussion in 'Personal' started by thelovelyliz, Oct 24, 2011.

  1. Hi
    Can I ask about discipline within a nursery or pre school environment?
    Are the above the generally accepted methods? I have read a number of comments recently which seem to think they are wrong and humiliating for the child.
  2. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    What do you suggest as an alternative?
  3. I wasn't suggesting an alternative was needed.
  4. It's difficult to reason with a toddler. Of course they aren't going to like having their behaviour modified. A negative outcome has got to bite in some way. If physical pain is verboten, then you've only got the mental pain of humiliation, isolation and withdrawal of love to play with.
    Mental health is at an all-time low in this generation, even allowing for the medicalisation and medicating of things that used to be regarded as part of one's character or a bit of minor hard luck, like shyness. I'm personally of the opinion that a slap round the legs and an early night was significantly better for small children in terms of adult mental health than the incessant messing with their minds that today's machiavellian psychobabble right-on behaviour management produces.
    If you're not allowed to smack or show any sort of anger, try everything out and the thing they appear to hate the most, stick with.
  5. Thanks.
    I certainly use naughty step with my three year old and it works: she is a well behaved girl (mostly.)
    So many people seemed to be quite convinced that it was a terrible way of treating a child I genuinely wondered if I had missed something.
  6. I don't like the naughty step/time out for my children. I generally try to catch bad behaviour before it starts, but if I don't then I just explain why something isn't a good idea, while talking about how it made other people feel, or the safety of doing certain things. I think that works just as well as using time-out in terms of modifying unwanted behaviour, but it gets the kids thinking about other people rather than just what happens to them.Of course it isn't a quick fix and you need to make sure you keeptight hold of your temper, but you have to do thatwhatever style of discipline you choose to use.
    Of course that's much more achievable in a family than it is in a nursery/pre-school environment where there are many more children to each adult (unless you have a particularly large family). So I would expect some sort of time-out style discipline in those environments. And as parents it is your own personal choice aboutwhat style of discipline you use in your family, different methods suit diferent personalities.
  7. And if after your patient and reasoned explanation, they go straight away and do the thing again? How many times will you explain before conceding that the feelings of others aren't actually of much interest to your three year old? It's all fine and dandy if you've an eternally biddable child or one who is terrified of losing your approval, but it's my experience of the supermarket this morning that that is not the universal situation.
  8. I work in a pre-school and we use time out as a last resort. It diffuses the situation and takes the child away from whatever the problem was. We explain why they have to sit apart and give them books to look at for a few minutes. The books may well be thrown on the floor but that is the child's choice. We never use the word 'naughty', or naughty step and make it clear (or try to) that it is the behaviour that is undesirable not the child. All very pc and not the way that I personally would have disciplined my three! Fortunately we don't have to do it very often as it isn't that sucessfully with determind offenders.
  9. Ruthie66

    Ruthie66 New commenter

    At school it's the "thinking chair" and we have appropriated the Charlie and Lola term "simmer down chairs" when our two (4 and 5) get out of hand and just wind themselves up (sometimes with excitement rather than naughtiness) to the point where they are out of control.
  10. jellycowfish

    jellycowfish Occasional commenter

    I had the bottom stair for my eldest - hardly needed to use it, as he was suitably horrified that he'd been removed from his 'fun'. Tried the same with my middle one - his response for me daring to treat him like that was to remove his nappy and wee all over the floor. I didn't use the step again for him!
  11. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    They're quite smart, aren't they!!

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