1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Time off at beginning of the year?

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Lazycat, Aug 30, 2019.

  1. Lazycat

    Lazycat Senior commenter

    I’m back at work on Monday, we have training days on Monday and Tuesday and start teaching on Wednesday. The first hour of the day will probably be spent with forms handing out timetables and other admin. stuff. All fairly standard stuff.

    My dilemma is that, after waiting an entire summer for my husband to have urgent surgery to remove a tumour and a cancellation this week, he’s been told he can have surgery on Wednesday (first proper day of teaching).

    School are well aware of the health problems he’s been having and have been very supportive. He’s very anxious about the surgery and I’d really like to be there with him while he goes through all the pre-op stuff and before he goes down to the operating theatre.

    Obviously the timing is awful, should I even bother asking for the time off? I can’t bear the idea of him sitting there on his own and we’ve got a friend on standby if school says no.
  2. blueskydreaming

    blueskydreaming Lead commenter

    Of course you should be with your husband - just ask the school for the time off.
  3. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    I would ask as you have nothing to lose. If the school have been supportive so far then I am sure that they would give you the day off. I would have done.

    Wednesday will be a stressful day for you and you would be far better off supporting your husband rather than being in the classroom with your mind not on the job.

    I had a TA so was in a similar situation and she used to hate asking for time off. My reply was always “of course” and it led to so much good will, not just from her but from the rest of the staff as well.
  4. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Entirely up to you.

    But I'm 64. Different era. Not my surgery? I go to work. I also wouldn't let anyone take time off their work to accompany me.

    But your school is probably much more modern! Just ask.
    DexterDexter likes this.
  5. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    He s a teacher's husband and he knows the scenario. You won't be able to do anything so go to school and visit later when he is awake.

    I had a tumour removed and no-one was there for me. I had a major shoulder operation and no-one was there for me. You just get on with it.

    Sounds harsh but that's life.

    Also - you may need time off later so save this.
  6. Lazycat

    Lazycat Senior commenter

    Well it’s all moot now anyway. We’ve just had a phone call to tell us that his surgery has been cancelled again. That’s two cancellations for urgent cancer surgery that was supposed to happen within three weeks. It’s now been seven and we still haven’t got a date. So fed up. I’ve contacted PALS to complain, anyone had any experience of dealing with them?
  7. ScienceGuy

    ScienceGuy Established commenter

    I have issues with cancer surgery this year - my operation was cancelled twice.

    I dealt with PALS earlier in the process regarding a missed appointment (I did not get the appointment letter until after the appointment was held) and they took 4 days to get back to me by which time the issue had been resolved
    agathamorse likes this.
  8. Lazycat

    Lazycat Senior commenter

    I’m not holding by breath with PALS I’m not interested in why his surgery was cancelled- I can probably work that out for myself. We just need to get this surgery over and done with so we can get on with our lives.

    I do hope that you are well on the road to recovery
    agathamorse and JosieWhitehead like this.
  9. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    Arghh! Sorry but that's probably not enough to express your feelings. I know it's not the same but I had a destroyed shoulder and I was in hospital and my operation was cancelled 4 times. So much pain!

    Best wishes and let's hope it's not too long a delay.
  10. ScienceGuy

    ScienceGuy Established commenter

    Thank you - my surgery took place at the beginning of this month and is healing well. I should avoid any follow up chemotherapy and radiotherapy based on the histology results
    agathamorse and sparklepig2002 like this.
  11. DYNAMO67

    DYNAMO67 Lead commenter

    Everyone to their own, but someone whose partner is having serious surgery that is removing a rumour ought to be with them, not in work, for me.....
    * sorry quoted the wrong post here * meant for the @grumpydogwoman
    1970devon, vannie, lardylady and 4 others like this.
  12. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    So the brain surgeon takes time off for her partner's op? Thus having to cancel the op they were meant to perform on some other patient?

    Lots of people simply aren't allowed. I know plenty of people on minimum wage who'd lose their jobs.

    There are 190 contact days with kids. One is paid to be there. Except in case of an emergency. That's my take on it. Old-school. As I said. And nobody takes time off to accompany me to an op. That's how I roll.
    Laphroig likes this.
  13. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I think you are being a bit harsh GDW.
    When my daughter was hospitalised over 3 years ago, leading eventually to a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, my school told me to take as much time as I needed. I was not in a fit state to teach. I did not take the p155 and went back to school as soon as possible.
    A little bit of kindness and understanding goes a long way. Schools expect us to go the extra mile but rarely does this go in the opposite direction. Goodwill is a 2 way street.
  14. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Definitely ask for the time whenever it comes up. This isn't a minor blood test or similar, but surgery.
    If the worst happens during the operation, you'd never forgive yourself if you weren't there just before.

    I've worked for fourteen different head teachers and only one of them would have refused the time. (And he was such a nasty horrible sod he would probably have refused the time if it was my own operation!)
  15. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Cancer surgery is important enough to be considered an emergency.

    A morning to be with their partner before cancer surgery is something where I'd be happy to cover any of my colleagues and I cannot think of a single decent individual who wouldn't.

    The fact that other people aren't fortunate enough to have a job where they can isn't a reason not to.
    Other people aren't fortunate to have a job with many of the benefits of teaching, should that mean we should forego all of those as well?
  16. blueskydreaming

    blueskydreaming Lead commenter

    Your health and wellbeing and that of your family is more important than your job, whatever your job is. You should not be a martyr to the ridiculous cause of primary or secondary education.
  17. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Where do you draw the line?

    Accompany spouse to op.
    Be there when spouse emerges.
    Be there for consultant's round (that takes place at 11am daily).
    Go to the GP for follow-up with spouse.

    There seems no end to it all.

    This is not a timid child. I don't get it. Why don't people say, "You get off and do something useful at work. I'll be fine. There's nothing you can do so go and do something where they DO need you. I'll see you at visiting time!"
    caress likes this.
  18. celago22

    celago22 Established commenter

    Completely agree with some of the above posters. If possible, you should go with your husband to the hospital.
  19. saluki

    saluki Lead commenter

    I would add a word of caution. Is it imperative that you are there for the operation? is it that important?
    You'll only be hanging around and not actually achieving anything. I've been there and done that. I was never actually present in the hospital for operations. he will probably be drowsy afterwards and not even know that you are there. Do you actually know how long the operation will take? recovery time etc. I was once told an operation was a 20 minute job. I was climbing up the wall when he was still in recovery 7 hours later.
    However, I'm sure that you will be needed when he comes home to recuperate. I would be looking for the maximum time off possible then.
    Be there when he needs you. Only you can decide when that time will be. Use your time wisely.
    caress and grumpydogwoman like this.
  20. DYNAMO67

    DYNAMO67 Lead commenter

    Someone’s having serious surgery. I just can’t compeehend how someone could possibly do a half decent job anyway in them circumstances.

    The aftercare thing is totally different. I wouldn’t want to be at work whilst my wife was having surgery. What would the brain surgeon do in such circumstances? Clear his/ her lists. I guarantee you. It’s that simple.

    If it were simple, routine surgery: maybe. But not this. I can’t see how anyone could see the benefit of seeing you in work.

    I’m shocked there are people suggesting that this person ought to suck it up.

Share This Page