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Threatened miscarriage - return to work?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by latortuga, Jul 7, 2011.

  1. latortuga

    latortuga New commenter

    Hi,
    I'm about 9 weeks pregnant after 2 missed miscarriages in the last 10 months. Last weekend I had a massive bleed, though have since seen a healthy heartbeat. I've taken this week off to recover and gather my strength but I'm really worried about going back to school on Monday. I'm terrified I'll bleed again in the middle of a class. I'm worried the stress (particularly with some of my classes) will make things worse. My GP asked if I was happy to go back to work on Mon and I said I thought I was, however now I'm not so sure. Would it be really pathetic to get signed off for the last 2 weeks? I'm so scared of things going wrong - and at least at home I can go to the loo every half hour to check for blood!
    Any thoughts? x
     
  2. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I can only imagine how wonderful it must have been for you to see that healthy heartbeat.
    I think you know the answer to this one already - you need to be off work. How would you feel if you went back and the worst did happen? You may think 'if only I had stayed off work etc...' You and your bubba are the most important thing, forget work. You need to look after yourself and your bubba. Work can be stressful and take its toll on our bodies and you don't need this. It is the end of term and life will go on without you there. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I needed people to be harsh with me when I was going through some pregnancy concerns (I am now 36 weeks and all is well - at least I hope so - you never stop worrying). Like you, I am dedicated to my job but you soon realise that there are far more important things in life.
    Look after yourself latortuga and put your feet up. The fact you have got to 9 weeks is great! Take care sweetiexxx
     
  3. Hi Latortuga, I totally agree with missimpatient. You won't be able to work with the stress and you really ought to rest. I will be 14 weeks tomorrow and have had spotting on and off. It is absolutely horrible and you must hate it after your two miscarriages. My first pregnancy was ectopic and I bled lightly for 3 weeks before it was diagnosed. The bleeding is now completely traumatic no matter how light. If you did get another bleed it may not mean anything is wrong. The first trimester drags and I spent it in fear. I feel some comfort in being out of the delicate period and you will too. When I lost my first baby and tube to keyhole surgery I was off work for months with grief that manifested as depression (my words, not my GP's!). They coped without me and your school will cope without you. None of us are indispensable and you need to be as comfortable as possible in your condition. Come over to the Winter babies 2010/11 thread as lots of us have had bleeding and many people are not yet 9 weeks. Don't feel that you have to cope through this alone. Thinking of you xxx
     
  4. Hi latortuga miss I and FS have both given you some lovely advice and i 100% agree with them.

    I know it's hard to step away from the job we're in as it's so all encompassing at times but you need to put you and your baby first. School will understand and you won't be able to do our job effectively under that kind of stress and worry. Why not take next week off and see how you get on? Have you lots planned in the final week? Also does your head know about your situation?
    The only plus side of being at school is that it takes your mind off the constant worry a little by means of distraction?

    Really hope to see you over on the winter babies thread lovely and be sure to keep us posted xx
     
  5. Hi latortuga,
    I had a bleed at 8+2 - I was woken up in the middle of the night and red blood literally gushed out of me plus I passed two sizeable clots. At the time I thought I was having a miscarriage. I later found out at a scan that the baby was fine but that I have two bleed areas in my womb lining. I was told it was likely that I would bleed heavily again.
    I took about a week off work and am now back. Like you I am worried that I may have a heavy bleed at work but my colleagues have put strategies into place so that I am well cared for if it does happen.
    Do you know what caused your bleed? If not, I would agree with the other posters that it's probably best to remain off work. If your situation is like mine, follow your heart. I feel fine physically and the medics told me that if a miscarriage is going to happen it will and there is not a lot you can do to prevent it, if anything. Hopefully you've got a sticky bean and everything will be fine.
    Em x x x
     
  6. I agree with the others. Especially in light of your past experiences and recent bleeding, you've every right to take it seriously and hey, in the grand scheme of things 2 weeks isn't that much time off. You'll probably feel better just lying down and taking it easy.
    Sarah x
     
  7. latortuga

    latortuga New commenter

    Thanks for all your replies. You've made me realise I'm not being completely irrational and pathetic. I'm going to sleep on it, and see how I feel in the morning. At the moment I just don't think I can go back yet - I'm so emotional and just going to the loo all the time to check. If I went back and the worst happened I'd probably blame myself for going back - I'm a great one for blame. I've missed so much of this year with the miscarriages - never had a year like it and hope never to again. They didn't find any cause for the bleed - nothing showed up on the scan at all, but it was terrifying. So much blood and such huge clots. I am taking aspirin which would have made the bleeding heavier, but even so. Still getting the odd bit of brown discharge too.
    Thanks anyway for all your advice - you've been really kind and understanding. Just need to get my husband to see how I feel about going back...
    xx
     
  8. My husband decided not to get involved after he accompanied me to the GP surgery. I was hysterical and she understood perfectly - she had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Once he realised that other intelligent and rational women responded to losing their babies in this way I think he gave me more space to get through it in my own way. Two weeks is nothing and I know what you mean about having a bad year at work. Mine has been terrible too but with reason. After the spotting with this baby I was always scared of going to the toilet and seeing more blood. You don't need that worry at work. Be kind to yourself and maybe ask your husband to read this thread. Gentle hugs xx
     
  9. reddevil

    reddevil Occasional commenter

    Having had a similar situation I can wholeheartedly say that if you can stay off work then do so. Take care.
     
  10. Don't worry too much about the brown discharge. I've been having it daily since I found out I was pregnant. Brown is apparently good as it is old blood and not usually a problem. I have been told that it is probably the bleed areas and hopefully won't affect the baby at all. I still worry though x x x
     
  11. latortuga

    latortuga New commenter

    I'm signed off for next week - feel quite relieved not to have to worry about it now. My GP thinks the brown I'm getting now is most likely the remnants of the massive bleed I had last weekend. If it carries on much longer or gest heavier I'll go back to the hospital next week.
    Thanks for all the advice xx
     
  12. Good, glad you are off work- think you need time to look after yourself. So, get plenty of rest, eat whatever takes your fancy and really spoil yourself.
    You are probably stilll quite scared, and I don't blame you but look after yourself xxxx
     
  13. Hope that brings you some time to rest and recuperate honey.
    Stay away from the Internet and plan some relaxing and pampering for this week. Acupuncture really helped me?
    Keep us posted and hope to see you on the winter thread soon x x
     
  14. Hi Latortuga
    So sorry you are going through this again. I've also had 2 MMC with a healthy little boy between them. Really glad you have more time off work. If you did want to go back to prepare for Sept could you get a fitness to work certificate to say you can do paperwork but not teach?
    Don't want to worry you but I was a bit concerned that you say you are taking aspirin - is this for another medical condition as I thought it was completely off limits during pregnancy and paractemol was the only safe painkiller?
    Got my fingers crossed for you and the bean to get through the next three weeks safely
    xx
     
  15. latortuga

    latortuga New commenter

    Hi,
    Well good job I'm not in school as I started bleeding again at the weekend. I've another scan tomorrow to see if beanie has survived or not. Dreading it - you have no idea how much I hate going for scans.
    The aspirin is for the recurrent miscarriage - it's very low dose (75mg) and approved by my GP, MW and the hospital. It's a desperate measure but worth a try. They won't do tests until I've had a 3rd miscarriage and taking aspirin is the only thing i can do differently by myself to try and avoid a 3rd miscarriage.
    Anything is worth a try.
    xx
     
  16. Hi Latortuga,
    How awful for you. I hate that they won't scan same day for bleeding! I hope everything is okay and will be thinking of you. Try to focus on your last scan when beanie's heart was beating away. I can understand your dread of scans - my first pregnancy was ectopic so I have had 6 reassurance scans with this bub. Every time I have expected the worst out of fear and have wanted to sob each time although it has been fine. I have had some spotting this time and bleeding is the worst symptom for any expectant Mum who has lost babies. They say bleeding is common in early pregnancy though so I hope that this time it hasn't affected your much-loved beanie. Nothing I can say will give you any reassurance - you really need the scan to see for yourself...
    Thinking of you xx
     
  17. Hi Latortuga,
    Hig hugs to you hun. Like FS, I can well understand your fear of scans, as found out about mmc last year at 12 week scan naively thinking all was fine.
    The bleeding is so worrying, but try to remember that lots and lots of women get bleeding during pg, some apparently all the way through, and a lot of the time the baby is fine. I got bleeding at 8 weeks and just assumed it was all over, but all's been fine since. I know that nothing will be able to put your mind at rest though until you know for sure. Be kind to yourself tonight, with a warm bath or curled up with a nice book. I will be thinking and praying for you and hope all is ok.
    Sarah xx
     
  18. latortuga

    latortuga New commenter

    Scan went well - so we've dodged another bullet!! Hopefully that's it for now at least. I'm not sure I'll ever believe this could happen - I feel like I'm just waiting for the inevitable awful scan at some point, but I know that's just down to the experiences I've had before. It's difficult not to think like that - luckily my husband is a lot more optimistic! back to work next week - fingers crossed...
    Thanks for all your advice xx
     
  19. So pleased that your scan went well!
    I too fear scans and seem to be rather pessimistic! I haven't miscarried before and this is my first pregnancy but because I have experienced heavy bleeding and am still spotting every day (brown) I can't seem to get excited. I am hoping and praying that my 12 week scan will have a positive outcome and I may then allow myself to relax a little.
    Love and hugs,
    Em
    (10+1)
     
  20. Thinking of you latortuga.......
     

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