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thinking of leaving GTP

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by hope_1, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. Hi,

    Just need some serious advice... as much as I love the GTP and love teaching I'm seriously considering leaving due to all the issues I'm having with school. To be honest I'm constantly worried and on edge - anxious. I feel vulnerable and intimidated. I've cried myself to sleep some nights. Most days I can't sleep or eat and feel constantly upset

    The issue that occured was blown completely out of proportion...I avoided going to the college because I didn't want to make an issue out of nothing but the school has told the link tutor before I have. Anyway I wanted to ask/know can a GTP trainee be placed in a different school if they're having problems?

    and two if i left the GTP would I ever be able to go teacher training again e.g PGCE etc?



    i KNOW I can teach and I know I can do it WELL



    Please anyone who can help let me know or if there's anyone I can contact



    thanks
     
  2. Hi,

    Just need some serious advice... as much as I love the GTP and love teaching I'm seriously considering leaving due to all the issues I'm having with school. To be honest I'm constantly worried and on edge - anxious. I feel vulnerable and intimidated. I've cried myself to sleep some nights. Most days I can't sleep or eat and feel constantly upset

    The issue that occured was blown completely out of proportion...I avoided going to the college because I didn't want to make an issue out of nothing but the school has told the link tutor before I have. Anyway I wanted to ask/know can a GTP trainee be placed in a different school if they're having problems?

    and two if i left the GTP would I ever be able to go teacher training again e.g PGCE etc?



    i KNOW I can teach and I know I can do it WELL



    Please anyone who can help let me know or if there's anyone I can contact



    thanks
     
  3. Time4Tea

    Time4Tea New commenter

    I have heard of someone changing school because it wasn't working out with their mentor, so it can be done if there are good grounds for it. And in theory you could do a PGCE, but I think they might be wary in case you dropped out again.

    Do you think you have explored all the possibilities for making it work where you are? Have you had a confidential chat with your link tutor?

     
  4. Hi thank you for your response. yes i've done it all. I've tried hard and each week thought lets give it a try but things are getting from bad to worse.After telling me to put the issue behind they have gone and spoken to my link tutor.

    The only reason I didn't speak to her was out of loyalty to the school if that makes sense?

    But I can't deal with it no more becuase it's affecting my health, my sleep, my family life and my eating.

    I don't mind changing school but I can't continue as I'm constantly worried anxious and feeling vulnerable... I fallen asleep crying many days. Many days i've not had lunch or eaten very late in the evening. I can teach i want to teach but not it this atmosphere.
     
  5. Just to let you know that I changed schools on my GTP as did another GTP with our training provider. I did my GTP over two terms with the other school. A colleague at my original school who was GTP at the same time left and went on the PGCE. So, Yes to your questions.

    Hope this helps. Be determined


     
  6. dizzymai

    dizzymai New commenter

    Hi Hope



    If you love GTP and love teaching then obviously you need to find another school to continue, if it's as bad as you say and it sounds bad. What about contacting your union?

    I don't fully understand what the issue is because obviously you want to remain anonymous but if something has been blown out of proportion why is this not being recognised? Can you not put your point plainly- maybe ask for a meeting to be set up where you can explain it- and then for it all to be put behind you. What about your mentor?

    Hope you get it sorted.[​IMG]
     
  7. Hi Hope,



    I think you are doing RE like me. They do seem to put us in some peculiar places with varying degrees of support don't they? Still I guess we should be grateful schools take trainees at all, it is a huge commitment in terms of time for them.



    I hope you had a better day today. Don't give up yet, try and see if you can change placements. If you know you can teach, then fight for it. Be strong and look after yourself both physically and mentally and career wise. Do what is right for you and involve the unions if necessary.



    Good luck.
     
  8. I can't discuss the ins and outs of the situation. But basically the whole issue has been blown out of proportion and taken forward after I was told to start afresh. The only reason I didn't take it forward is because I didn't want to cause trouble and loyalty. I've tried really TRIED hard but I can't cope with it anymore. I'm constantly tearful and on edge I can't eat sleep or function from the stress. It's affected me too much



    To those that transferred school can I ask why you transferred and how supportive were the college? did you have to find the schools yourself?
     
  9. forestgreen

    forestgreen New commenter

    As an ex training provider, we did transfer GTPs to other schools if it wasn't working out, sorting it out for them. However, all training providers vary, so you need to check with yours.

    Another option to seriously consider if the stress has really got to you is deferment. Trainees can defer the course (I know of a trainee who deferred for half a term due to health reasons; another deferred a whole term for family reasons) - this is much better than withdrawing. Again, it will depend on your particular training provider.

    Think very hard before coming off the programme altogether - it will show up on future applications for teacher training, so you would have to explain yourself. Worst case scenario is if your problems result in you actually failing the course (which is very rare). Anyone who 'fails' a course of initial teacher training can never try again.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
     
  10. Hi everyone



    thank you for your input.

    Forest I've tried MY BEST to make it work - i love the teaching. I've tried to get on but it's just getting too much. It's really affected all aspects of my life. including my physical and emtional health. itfs affected me greatly. I feel intimidated. I don't feel its' the best place for me and I don't think I'll develop - I raised this last point a few weeks into the course with the providers. I didn't want to cause trouble hence have put up with it this long. It's affecting me too much there's no way on this earth i'll last till july or develop much.

    Forest a question how empathic are providers towards trainees? I'm feeling very vulnerable and feel it'll be my word against the placements. Thus, I'm happy to quit if I don't get support. As a trainee I feel very open to abuse and often think what rights do i have? where do i turn? I can't allow myself to continue like this - it's not worth it. Will the provders support/believe me?

    Why on earth would I make an issue out of nothing? It's hard enough to get on to the GTP as it is. I'm very committed and motivated I need to channel these energies in a supportive environment.

    Just feeling very lonely and anxious
     
  11. Forest I have thought about it long and hard - I've agonised over it I came to this decision last night and feel a sense of 'comfort'. I've not done anything wrong if the providers can;t support me or give me a another placement - I will quit with dignity and respect. why? because I can't afford to live like this day in and out. I've lost so much weight I can barely eat. it's not worth it. I wanted to enjoy and thrive on my training...



    it's soul destroying... I think I'm set up for failure in the place.


     
  12. Also on that point - I'm NOT stressed by teaching or the workload or any of that. I enjoy that. it's the environment its stifling and I'm constantly in a state of what next??
     
  13. Oh sweetheart you sound so down. Please don't do anything rash this weekend. Take some time for yourself and then really think things through. Write a list of positives and negatives and see which out weighs the other. If you really think teaching is for you and it is only this placement that is the problem, then take the good advice given by the former training provider and speak to your provider and insist they take some action.

    Don't give up just because of one horrible school, you deserve a chance.

    Thinking of you.

    Brown eyes
     
  14. Hi Hope

    I was talking to a fellow GtP-er last week and she had a similar story to yours.

    She was hating her place, class teacher was very unsupportive and lots of bad stuff happening. She got in touch with her provider and also spoke to someone she could trust at school and she was moved into a different class.

    Could you do that instead of moving schools? She is sorted now and incredibly happy which it sounds to me like you would be if you could change classes.

    Not sure if I am missing something major and I am with BrownEyes on my sympathy for you.

    It's just that you have tried so hard and won a place on this it seems so sad to stop when you actually still want to teach.

    Take care

    Love

    LoobyLouLou
     
  15. Hope

    I was supported by my training provider. Basically they gave me two options to look

    for a new school or be deferred to the next year. With this information I had the confidence to resign and look for my new school knowing I had a back up plan. In the end I found one myself and one through a fellow gtp. I took the one recommended by a fellow gtp (even though further away) ,because she was being well supported

    I left because my old school would not give a reduced timetable, I had no mentor and was teaching subjects that were uncompatible to my degree. I felt as you did desperate, but once I cleared in my mind that even if the GTP did not work I could do the PGCE I became more focused about putting my plan into action. By the way my second school was fab! One GTP I know transferred,because she was bullied by her mentor. Hope this helps, believe me there are lots of GTPs in your situation. Fight for what you want. f you want to teach don't be put off.

    Take care
     
  16. Hi everybody,



    Thank you sooo much for all your support and insight. To be honest it has been a nightmare. I hate going to work and it's not the kids or teaching or workload but the stres of what might happen next. I've been told i'm unprofessional, challenging and confrontational (the last two comments made on the back of my saying I can't do reports/assessments because I don't know how to level or even sub level) I wasn't even refusing but simply stating as it is. I also mentioned I was told my the coordinator that I'm not supposed to do them. Anyway long story short I'm sooo fed up, tired and exhausted emotionally, physcially and psychologically. As much as I LOVE teaching and working with kids I can't put myself through this daily torment. I cried myself to sleep last night... I've lost weight and feel unwell. Not to mention its affected my personal life and relationships with family. I tried my best to get on thinking...it's only a year I'll get there. but its just got worse and worse. past 3/4 weeks I've spent crying and constantly anxious.

    I finally decided I deserve better than this and if I have to quit I will for my own self respect and dignity. I will not tolerate been accused of unprofessionalism. It's hear breaking and has affected me deeply- I actually feel traumtised by the whole experience.



    I put off contacting the providers out of loyalty to the school (as daft as it sounds!). Also I'm not sure if the providers will listen to me or support me...and that concerns me. Also it will my word against the school. But WHY would i deliberately blow my placement when teaching has been my dream? *sigh*

    Chocfudgecake or any others who have been through similar could you please email me at all? Is there anyway of sending my email privately on here? infact you can email me on csa.researcher@gmail.com I'd really appreciate it.



    Many thanks once again.

    hope_1


     
  17. I have just moved house and only have access to my school email at present so am unable to email you privately.

    There are some things I think you need to address here.

    Firstly, you must remember that you have chosen a teaching career for a reason. You obviously feel able to do this career, you were accepted onto the course by a provider, so they obviously felt you were able too, and you have found teaching not a problem, it is just the people you are working with, from what I can see.

    You MUST ask yourself why should I be loyal to the school when they are treating me like this?

    I know that it is quite daunting to even consider in the early stages of your career that you need to involve others to help you. I know that I spoke to my union as a last resort because I genuinely felt I had no other alternative and also felt very alone.

    Many schools bully GTP students. I believe because they think they can get away with it. I have known many people, including myself, feel intimated by colleagues, and lack of sleep, food and concentration aided me to feel less confident generally and question whether I should be in the profession. You must remember that you are not alone in this. The ONLY way to stop this happening is to speak to someone you trust. I get the impression you feel noone in school will be on your side or you cannot talk to anyone in school as they have already spoken to your provider. DO NOT LET THIS PUT YOU OFF SPEAKING TO THEM.

    My school said some terrible things about me to my provider. Like you, I did not want to speak to them as I didn't think they would be able to help or they would not be on my side.

    I was very wrong!!!!!!!!!

    As soon as I contacted them, they put everything on file. They assured me they would not speak to the school about our conversations unless I said they could do so. You must remember theyare there to help and support you, especailly in these circumstances. Regardless of whatever has happened to you in school or what has been said, they are there to give advice, support and do what is right for their trainees throughout the GTP year. You are in your training year and therefore need this support.

    Ultimately it's your decision but I cannot recommend enough that you do speak to them and get advice whether you can move schools if necessary, or set up a meeting with your external tutor to help clear the air etc.

    You must also consider that you are still on the course.You have not been asked to leave. You are still teaching. Therefore the provider, I think will be very supportive of you.

    Please let me know how you get on.

    I hope this is helpful

    Chocfudgecake x
     
  18. Hi chocfudgecake,



    Thank you so much for your response - yes your right I do feel vulnerable and intimidated not by all staff just the people in charge of me. I've spent the evening crying. Had a meeting with the providers - not sure how supportive they will be to be honest. I have been told they will support me and are there to represent me but I really do worry it will be my word against the schools. the providers want to arrange a meeting to clear the air and get the schools side and see if it is possible to work it. I was apprenhensive the providers contacting school direct so I said I want to speak to them first. Infact I was told the school might not be happy that I've gone behind their back (*sigh*). Feel a bit lost and definitely alone.



    Nothing was said re confidentiality or even putting on file. Basically they think it's a breakdown of communication. Even now I'm willing to make it work but to be honest I'm very tired and exhausted mentally and physically to the point where it's affecting my health.



    Anyway will see what happens...will speak to them tomorrow and I'm soo hoping they UNDERSTAND ME.



    It's just become a nightmare...




     
  19. I am pleased it has helped you.

    Do not allow the school to intimidate you in any way. Record everything that is said in the meeting you have (even if you have to have a secret recorder in your pocket). Ensure that you state clearly in the meeting what you are not happy with and how you feel. I would also put across how much you enjoy the career and the way certain people are making you feel. To a certain extent you need to be assertive in the meeting and let the school know that you will not be bullied or lied about. This may seem like such a difficult thing to do but in the long run it will enable them to know what the problem is and how to move forward.

    If you are not happy with anything that is said in the meetin or you feel you are completely alone, then stop the meeting and tell them you will contact your union rep to arrange another meeting.

    Alternatively have your union rep there as support.Believe me they are brilliant.

    I really feel for you as I have been there, but there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Let me know how you get on.

    Chocfudgecake x
     
  20. Thanks again Chocfudgecake



    To be honest I've spent the evening crying. As i said earlier I'm not sure I want to face these people at present after what I've been put through - I feel traumatised. I don't want to cause any trouble for them however it's taken its toll on my well being and health.

    I'm just mentally physically and emotionally drained. I still want to teach though!

    I just feel very isolated and alone will speak to rep tomorrow -

    Just want it all to fall into place. I hate conflict and confrontation. Chocfudgecake just out of interest how was your first placement different to your second? i..e in terms of support? What should I be expecting?



    thanks
     

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