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Thinking ahead- possible large mortgage and babies

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by spiderkin, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. we moved 20 miles away to a cheaper, not-as-nice area to get a decent sized house that we could start a family in. it's amazing how quickly money disappears once a child is on the scene. i've bought pretty much everything second hand for my wee man so they don't have to cost the earth (and everything i've bought has been hardly used and a fraction of the original price)
    i suppose it depends on whether or not you're happy to return to work full time or whether you really want the option of being a stay at home mum or go part time. with a mortgage that swallows up one entire salary you wouldn't be able to do that.
  2. Hi there,
    We took on a very large mortgage a few years ago, but as both our earnings have increased since it feels a lot more manageable now. Also, we have made overpayments whenever possible to reduce it a little and allow for payment holidays should we ever need to, and also built up savings as a cushion.
    Having said that, I can't imagine feeling well-off enough with our current mortgage to not return to work at the end of mat leave, to have several years unpaid with kids, although luckily I don't think I'd want to do that anyway.
    Your best bet is probably to be as frugal as possible now to save up as much as possible so need a lower mortgage etc to give you more choices in a few years when you do start a family.
    Sorry if this post doesn't make much sense or very waffly, I'm 11 weeks pg and feeling pretty rough so not much of what I say makes sense atm!
  3. That makes sense- thank you. It's so hard to know what to do for the best! Why are houses so expensive?[​IMG]
    It makes it harder as my parents don't live locally. How much would a day at a childminders/nursery to cost (roughly)?

  4. Hi,

    This may sound like a bit of a waffle, but here I go..
    We were in a similar position at the start of the year- We were living with my inlaws ( a long story I shall not bore you with!) we wanted to move into a lovely house to start a family, but it would mean having a very big mortgage which we would barely be able to cover with a baby. But then in Feb I found out I was pregnant and the reality of how little money we would have really hit home. It would have meant that I would have had to go back to work really soon after the baby was born which I desperately didn't want to do. After talking to a few mortgage providers and having some serious discussions about it, we decided that although its not great living with the in-laws, we were going to stay put. The reason being is that the mortgage payments on a house are based massively on how much deposit you have, rather than on your income etc. Mortgage companies advised us that if were able to put down say a 15% deposit rather than 10% then our monthly payments would go down significantly- We're talking about about a couple of hundred pounds a month at least- a massive difference. So although for the short term living with the in-laws is not what we want to do, in the long run it will be better as it means I can have the year off, potentially go back part time and get a house that we want and actually be able to afford it fairly comfortably next year. I don't know if you are in a position to stay where you are for a while and save for a bit longer, but I think it really is worth it. Think bigger picture. At the end of the day, other houses will come onto the market and you never know the one you like may still be on the market in 6 months with a lower price tag. I have to say that I also have noticed that prices of houses have dropped over the last 6 months and according to my OH who takes a massive interest in these things, are likely to fall quite a lot over the next year. We keep tabs on the housing market, so we know what we are up against in the future.

    I am not sure if this has helped at all, but just wanted to give you a different perspective!
  5. Sorry for lack of paragraphs- using Chrome!
  6. Hi English Rose,
    That makes sense to me! You are right- bigger picture. It's just hard to make that sacrifice now for it- having said that, the sacrifice of having a family and no money is worse than not having the house of your dreams.
  7. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Also, be warned- you might plan to go back full time and then discover that you can't bear to. I was amazed at how much I enjoy being full-time with a baby; work doesn't figure at all on my radar and I'm not looking forward to going back in September. We're going to share the child care; I don't see the point in one of us essentially working to pay nursery/childminder fees!
  8. Millie dog

    Millie dog New commenter

    Our story matches some of the others on here.
    Mortgage pretty big (isn't everyones!!) We've got a flexible mortgage so can make over payments without being penalised - that money goes into a pot which you can then use to take payment breaks. We didn't use it when i was pregnant first time round, but this time we reckon we'll have to use it so that i can have same amount of maternity leave as last time.
    Maternity pay is the biggest killer when you've got a large mortgage. I've had to face facts that i'll never be a stay at home mum and with the holidays i've not felt that i'm missing out too much (so far!). The cost of a baby is not as big as i thought it would be - most stuff you'll either get given, hand me downs or you can get some very good quality second hand (NCT sales are a must!).
    Childcare costs are the only other big thing to factor in when you go back to work!
    Despite money being very tight for us now (my OH has had a serious drop in income) i'm glad we made the leap and bought the house we have. It's able to accomodate us now that baby number 2 is on the way without us having to worry at all. Friends can come and stay too and it feels like a 'proper' family house rather than a starter home (does that make sense!). If we work hard and keep our heads down the house will be all ours...one day!!!
    good luck with everything!
  9. I think the problem us its unlikely the OP is considering buying the house of her dreams, probably something that would be just about functional for a small family. I guess the question is whether you would be happy renting and being a stay at home mum. The issue of course with renting being that the landlord can often give only a months notice and then you have to get out - not great with a young family. I really sympathise the housing market is impossible unless you bought pre-2002. I think you probably have to go for it and hope your partner gets a big pay rise in the meantime. Remember it is possible to make some money from home without having an actual 'job' also.
  10. I didnt read the post very carefully sorry. Would the cheaper option work for a family?
  11. We went for the smaller house, smaller mortgage and also budgeted for interest rate rises. Whatever mortgage you get now is likely to be far smaller than what you'd be on in a few years when the interest rates will have gone back up. Whilst it'll mean 2 kids sharing a bedroom (when another one comes along!) it also means we are in the position that I can stay at home more and also that if something happens (redundancy / illness / child needing extra care etc) we are not likely to be in the position of not being able to pay our mortgage. We are also on a 5 year capped tracker and pay the amount every month that it will be if it reaches its cap (so we overpay a lot at the moment to get used to the outgoings and give us a payment holiday option in emergency etc).
    As my temp contract is not being renewed and there is nothing else part time around, I am not working in sept (as it stands) and will be a SAHM for a while. This would not be an option if we had stretched house wise - I would have to fight to get a new full time job and juggle that with toddler, possibly pregnancy and another baby at some point.
    I feel slightly sad that we're in a smaller house for now but only slightly - the massively reduced stress and dramatically enhanced ability to have some money for things other than a mortgage is 100% what has worked for us. I'd be feeling so worried and stressed right now if we had a mortgage we could barely afford.
  12. us too. We have three bedrooms but our house isn't massive. I am a very today and organised person though and it means I often declutter. I love that our mortgage payments are small and I can have more time off work and afford to only work three days a week which I couldn't do with a bigger house. I am pregnant with #2 now and we will move after I have returned to work from mat leave
    me too. Each to their own but my LO doesn't care how big our house is and I really want to be able to stay at home. I know plenty of people who do work full time though.

    Whoever asked about childcare - its really expensive! About £35-£40 a day I think...not that I use it as my MIL has LO (lucky me I know!)

    You just need to do whatever is right for you! Not helpful I know!
  13. Wow- congrats Rwe!!! How have I missed this?! :) xx
    We have a large 4 bed house and I love it. I was somewhat resentful of it when it came to returning to work after mat leave #1 but we have a house in which to grow our family and we don't have to endure the cost and stress of moving in the near future. I will go back to wortk 4 days a week as a phased return to full time after baby number 2 (due in September) but am aiming to look for a part time job for when LO starts school, by which time hopefully we'll be better off (?!) Our mortgage is about £300 less than what I bring home each month working full time, but OH earns more than me.
    Either way- I agree totally with Millie Dog that the holidays are precious time and I enjoy nothing more than having a big group of baby friends over for play dates in our garden or living room. LO also has a lovely big living room to play in that is all hers (we don't get a look in, haha!) and I'm sure she wouldn't mind a smaller room but we like being able to give her the space.
  14. well if you will go away on holiday Clematis! lol! I got my BFP last week and I think I'm about 5 weeks now but not sure!

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