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Things You Would Never Hear A Supply Teacher Say

Discussion in 'Supply teaching' started by Gold1996, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. On a serious note - I've just put in my November timesheet (I get paid monthly in arrears... up to 8 weeks in arrears!!). I've had two days in the last month... and the grand total of 7 days this TERM!!! So yes, I'm becoming expert at being skint - and I love not working!! (Bah humbug!!!)
  2. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    "Oh YOU'RE the Head of Department are you? No, no, it's fine - I've managed perfectly for the last four days without seeing hair nor hide of you."
  3. jemlouisehunt

    jemlouisehunt New commenter

    Of course I would be happy to do playground duty, it's my favourite part of the day. You go out in the pouring rain? Oh ok
  4. So I'm taking KS1 before break and KS2 after break..OK... Oh and their breaktimes are staggered so as soon as I finish one class I need to proceed immediately to the next. No obviously I don't need a break of any kind-my bladder is iron clad! And drinks are for wusses!
  5. jemlouisehunt

    jemlouisehunt New commenter

    Of course I can find my way around the school, all schools are the same and if all else fails, I have a satnav -- Thank you so much for not having any resources in your classroom -- Oh no don't worry I love early morning calls -- I got the call at 8:40 and school starts at 8:50 so I went through the red lights, flew past the speed cameras and broke the landspeed record to get here just for you -- I'm psychic so of course I know that they line up in a particular order, need to be collected off the playground -- I'm actually fantastic at picking locks and guessing passwords so I will be ok when it comes to using the laptop or getting through those locked doors which lead to the staff room -- I understand that you can't give me a fob so I can get around school and into the staff room but I am fine to go into the classroom and teach the children -- Of course it's fine if I eat my dinner in the classroom so you can have a meeting in the staffroom with the rest of the staff whilst you all eat your lunch
  6. Hahaha! So true!
  7. I am laughing so much I'm crying! Everything is so true...
    Meeting other supply teachers in the Staff room , wispering "Are you on supply?" and finding an instant friend!
  8. "Of course you can all use the calculators on your mobile phones."
  9. Of course you can borrow a pen, dismantle it and leave the bits on the floor. Would you like a pencil to snap in half too?
    pepper5 likes this.
  10. "Your pen just exploded? We'd better report this danger."
    pepper5 likes this.
  11. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    "Thanks for writing my first name as well as my surname on my ID badge, it's so much more informal and relaxed if the children keep shouting my first name across the classroom."
  12. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    Thank you Miss HOD for apologising to the class and asking them to 'bear with us' for having to have me, 'the supply', teach them today in the paid absence (again!) of their timetabled teacher!
    Yes, I do understand that the seating plans on the teacher's desk are no longer up-to-date and your teacher has agreed to you all sitting with your friends because you work better that way. S/he just hasn't got round to making new seating plans.
    The timetable says break is at 11a.m but it's clearly a miss-print because you've just told me that lesson 2 finishes at 10.50.
    My mistake! When I told you off about your outrageous behaviour 5 minutes ago and said that it was an official warning, it didn't actually count towards your allowance of 3 allowed misdemanours per lesson because I was completely out of order in not sign-posting it as C1/2/3 (Consequences) on the school's Sanction system. The warning is therefore invalid and you may break another school rule with impunity! It's only fair for your human rights to be safeguarded.

  13. Don't worry that you didn't let me know that child A has aspergers / ADHD / life threatening condition. I soon worked it out.

  14. What am I doing for xmas?
    Oh I'm off to the Carribean for a 3 week cruise.
  15. I've had two days in the last month... and the grand total of 7 days this TERM!!! So yes, I'm becoming expert at being skint - and I love not working!! (Bah humbug!!!)

    I know what you mean. I get up, I wait for a call, I quickly realise Im not getting one, I spend the day pottering around the house and looking for weekend work on the internet while my boyfriend does a 8 hour shift (of which his cycled to on his bike, in the rain, just incase I need the car), he comes home drenched, i feel bad that he could have taken the car, i go to bed early so I can get up early and do it all again. Ahhhh....its what dreams are made of.
  16. "CRB? What's that? Really? Things have changed since I've been away. Yes that's Myra with a 'y'".
  17. "My car? It's an Aston Martin DBS UB-2010 Limited Edition"
  18. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    To bottom set Yr 9 boys (after putting several of them in detention): You're interested in cars? How wonderful that you are engaged with something! Perhaps it will lead to engineering work. Of course I'll tell you which car I drive!
  19. "Yes Headteacher I'd love to give you some objective, well qualified feedback about how well your systems work for an outsider."
    "Yes, of course I've read and digested your 28 page (yes 28 page) Child protection policy prior to one days work".
    "Your right Kylie, commuting from the far North East of London to the far South West of London is no problem. It is, after all, still London."

  20. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    "I wouldn't be seen dead buying Sainsbury's Basics"

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