1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Things You Would Never Hear A Supply Teacher Say

Discussion in 'Supply teaching' started by Gold1996, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. yes of course I knew you were a boy, even though all the visible cultural gender signifiers (hair, clothes, name) are feminine or unisex and you are sat with a crowd of girls. i only called you a girl to cause maximum hilarity among your classmates
     
  2. Yes, I deliberately pronounced your name wrong to give you all a good laugh - not because your parents spelt it in such a stupid way that anyone who can read English would automatically pronounce it wrong.
     
  3. In a similar vein;
    < yv reads register>
    Edward?
    Connor-John?
    William?
    Chn: ' There ain't no-one called that miss' <3 boys throw huffy strop>
    TA: You mean Teddy, CJ and Billy, miss
    yv: Yes, my special psychic name devining powers are really carp at the moment. Get your mum to change what's written in the register if you are going to throw a strop every time someone actually reads it as written.
     
  4. As you have called me "supply" all day even though I have told you my name several times ...I'm going to call you "assistant"... or would you prefer "TA"
     
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  5. andersoncouncil

    andersoncouncil New commenter

    'yes I would indeed be delighted to make a 100 mile round trip for one hour at CS rate. Thanks for the opportunity'

    'I can't wait for the summer holidays, I have missed Pauline from the job centre and her impressive collection of pens'

    'I can use your mug and have a biscuit? How generous'

    'I am sorry I couldn't possibly attend that job interview. I have a lucrative and awe-inspiring day of supply penciled in for Thursday'
     
  6. That's the best yet!
     
  7. "of course I can demonstrate how to create complex formulas in an excel spreadsheet without a Login for your computers. "
     
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  8. Yes, you are correct. Since I am older than 25 and not wearing a wedding ring I am in fact a lesbian."
    "and by happy coincidence, I am also the mother of at least 10 children in the school who share my very common surname."
     
    ultimatedingbat likes this.
  9. "yes, you're right, I am racist. It is entirely due to your race that I asked you to put down the textbook you were about to throw at another child."
     
  10. Pennyforyourthoughts

    Pennyforyourthoughts Occasional commenter

    Never hear a supply teacher say................................ I HAVE TOO MUCH WORK ..............I COULD BE WORKING FOR 3 AGENCIES EVERY DAY .................... If only.... those were the days.
     
  11. "Thanks for the photo register of the year 10 class - when were they taken? year 7? and they haven't changed a bit! Look - some of them have even dyed their hair for me! So the ones to watch are circled - that won't be too hard to spot them then, they all look the same - grey silhouettes!"
     
    ultimatedingbat likes this.
  12. And on the subject of class photos...There's a reason that passport photos have to show you not smiling - I can't identify any of the class of surly, scowling grumpy teenagers from the pictures of happy, beaming Year 8s that are on SIMs.
     
  13. aathienitis

    aathienitis New commenter

    Last edited by a moderator: May 20, 2016
  14. stupot101

    stupot101 Established commenter

    Last edited by a moderator: May 20, 2016
  15. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    Who dredged this old chestnut up.
     
  16. gh194380

    gh194380 New commenter

    "I absolutely love working for agencies, I can see my future here"

    "You're paying me far too much money, charge the schools more and pay me less"

    Receptionist/Cover Manager: "Here are the class photos for 11 set 5 Maths"
    Me: "Thanks, I can definitely decipher which child is which from photos taken 5 years ago"
     
  17. ultimatedingbat

    ultimatedingbat Occasional commenter

    "Sure I'll do a long term supply job for you Mr.Agency. What's thatYou want to pay me as an NQT at £85 p/d when I'm a 5th year teacher? Sure that's fine!"
     
  18. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    I actually got less than that for two long term placements three years ago and I was on UPS 1 at the time !
     
  19. ultimatedingbat

    ultimatedingbat Occasional commenter

    I refused it as getting better day to day rate. The school have 'no budget' for anything more. Hmmmm
     
  20. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    May well be true - at least on long term it's guaranteed money for a while

    Day-to-Day work will start declining after this half term and dries up to virtually nothing in the last three weeks before Summer
     

Share This Page