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Things You Would Never Hear A Supply Teacher Say

Discussion in 'Supply teaching' started by Gold1996, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. yes of course I knew you were a boy, even though all the visible cultural gender signifiers (hair, clothes, name) are feminine or unisex and you are sat with a crowd of girls. i only called you a girl to cause maximum hilarity among your classmates
  2. Yes, I deliberately pronounced your name wrong to give you all a good laugh - not because your parents spelt it in such a stupid way that anyone who can read English would automatically pronounce it wrong.
  3. In a similar vein;
    < yv reads register>
    Chn: ' There ain't no-one called that miss' <3 boys throw huffy strop>
    TA: You mean Teddy, CJ and Billy, miss
    yv: Yes, my special psychic name devining powers are really carp at the moment. Get your mum to change what's written in the register if you are going to throw a strop every time someone actually reads it as written.
  4. Mrs-Pip

    Mrs-Pip New commenter

    As you have called me "supply" all day even though I have told you my name several times ...I'm going to call you "assistant"... or would you prefer "TA"
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  5. andersoncouncil

    andersoncouncil New commenter

    'yes I would indeed be delighted to make a 100 mile round trip for one hour at CS rate. Thanks for the opportunity'

    'I can't wait for the summer holidays, I have missed Pauline from the job centre and her impressive collection of pens'

    'I can use your mug and have a biscuit? How generous'

    'I am sorry I couldn't possibly attend that job interview. I have a lucrative and awe-inspiring day of supply penciled in for Thursday'
  6. Mrs-Pip

    Mrs-Pip New commenter

    That's the best yet!
  7. "of course I can demonstrate how to create complex formulas in an excel spreadsheet without a Login for your computers. "
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  8. Yes, you are correct. Since I am older than 25 and not wearing a wedding ring I am in fact a lesbian."
    "and by happy coincidence, I am also the mother of at least 10 children in the school who share my very common surname."
    ultimatedingbat likes this.
  9. "yes, you're right, I am racist. It is entirely due to your race that I asked you to put down the textbook you were about to throw at another child."
  10. Pennyforyourthoughts

    Pennyforyourthoughts Occasional commenter

    Never hear a supply teacher say................................ I HAVE TOO MUCH WORK ..............I COULD BE WORKING FOR 3 AGENCIES EVERY DAY .................... If only.... those were the days.
  11. "Thanks for the photo register of the year 10 class - when were they taken? year 7? and they haven't changed a bit! Look - some of them have even dyed their hair for me! So the ones to watch are circled - that won't be too hard to spot them then, they all look the same - grey silhouettes!"
    ultimatedingbat likes this.
  12. And on the subject of class photos...There's a reason that passport photos have to show you not smiling - I can't identify any of the class of surly, scowling grumpy teenagers from the pictures of happy, beaming Year 8s that are on SIMs.
  13. aathienitis

    aathienitis New commenter

    Last edited by a moderator: May 20, 2016
  14. stupot101

    stupot101 Established commenter

    Last edited by a moderator: May 20, 2016
  15. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    Who dredged this old chestnut up.
  16. gh194380

    gh194380 New commenter

    "I absolutely love working for agencies, I can see my future here"

    "You're paying me far too much money, charge the schools more and pay me less"

    Receptionist/Cover Manager: "Here are the class photos for 11 set 5 Maths"
    Me: "Thanks, I can definitely decipher which child is which from photos taken 5 years ago"
  17. ultimatedingbat

    ultimatedingbat Established commenter

    "Sure I'll do a long term supply job for you Mr.Agency. What's thatYou want to pay me as an NQT at £85 p/d when I'm a 5th year teacher? Sure that's fine!"
    Happyregardless likes this.
  18. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    I actually got less than that for two long term placements three years ago and I was on UPS 1 at the time !
  19. ultimatedingbat

    ultimatedingbat Established commenter

    I refused it as getting better day to day rate. The school have 'no budget' for anything more. Hmmmm
  20. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    May well be true - at least on long term it's guaranteed money for a while

    Day-to-Day work will start declining after this half term and dries up to virtually nothing in the last three weeks before Summer

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