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Things You Would Never Hear A Supply Teacher Say

Discussion in 'Supply teaching' started by Gold1996, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    "Oh I'm not a real teacher I'm only a cover eh? Gosh, I wish they'd prepared me better for this moment when I trained at only a cover college 30 years ago"
     
  2. Haha, only on page 21 so far but have had a right giggle at these!! The children think 'we know nothing about anything' so after reading the school's supply booklet stating taking time off golden time for poor behaviour, I used it as a threat and they were' how do you know that?!' I am psychic of course!
     
  3. helenemdee

    helenemdee New commenter

    These are brilliant - some really hilarious ones and some I can totally relate to!
    "You don't need me tomorrow now? Of course, that's absolutely fine - especially as I've not had more than a day's work per week this whole half term - I was rather counting on the money from this job. Never mind - I'm sure I will enjoy yet another unpaid day off."
    In the staffroom: "Hello everyone, am I here or am I just invisible?"
    To the kids: "Oh, so Mrs So-and-So always lets you go to the toilet in lesson time? Even 10 of you at once? OK, off you go then"
    and one from this morning...
    "Oh yes, I just love getting up
    early and driving an hour to a job only to be told someone got their
    days mixed up and you actually need me tomorrow and Friday not today and
    tomorrow." (Still, at least I've still got 2 days work!)



     
  4. 8am -Er..your name is.....?
    9am -wha twas your name again..?
    9.30am - remind again..?
    10am- Name?
    10.20am - Mister..oi!
     
  5. "You're absolutely right, I can't be trusted with all these tools and equipment, I only have a degree in design and technology and 15 years experience of working in industry"

    To the agency
    " I totally understand that it's been slow, to be honest I haven't really felt like working for the last 5 weeks anyway"
     
  6. No I don't get paid more as a long term cover and yes I only get paid a daily rate of 5hours. Lesson plans sure, reports OK then, lesson observations no problem - will enjoy the feedback, meet and greet sure, yes lesson objectives will be on the board ready - even when you change the room (why?), marking will be done and I'll do it retrospectively in Btec because the pupils need to know if they have passed, yes faculty meetings if you want my input, and I loved the one where I was asked to provide the cover work 'til the end of term for another supply teacher because the class was the teacher's class but then they gave them another one instead (You know what they are doing so it seemed the best thing). He didn't like NO. I love the way they all have a different ways of dealing with those few naughty children and expect you to know what it is the second you walk in. Names and Ticks on the board, sure how many and then what?
     
  7. PS Yes its still quiet out there as they use up the newbies, cheaper by the dozen. Hoping October will pay some of the bills. Good luck inmates.
     
  8. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Brilliant,aa88! Our lives in a nutshell.
     
  9. Yes, I would be delighted to spend an hour in a wrecked classroom with all the year 10 boys who are skiving off PE and are normally not allowed in the same building as each other. I'll just get them to have a paper aeroplane making contest.
     
  10. No of course you have the right to know who I'm texting whilst I'm sat here in the staffroom being ignored by all. Yes stand behind my chair and try to read my text... that's fine too!
    Of course I'll contribute to your tea and coffee funds... afterall, I brought my own teabags and mug, I don't use milk... how much is hot water these days?
    You have triple booked supply for the same class? That's ok, I love to waste petrol and turn down other work so I can park my car in your carpark for 5 mins.
    I totally apologise for sitting in "your" chair in the staffroom, I didn't notice that your name was on it.
    I believe you that they don't usually behave like this when the perm teacher is here...Do the children always throw paper at the deputyhead whilst she is introducing a new teacher to the class too? Or was that especially for my benefit?
     
  11. I have said... Of course I can teach year 6 today (although I was told I would be taking reception and have no suitable resources since my bag is not like a tardis).
    Of course I can teach 'something about weather' (when I don't know what they have already been taught, it's 8.45, the kids are in in 5 minutes and there are no resources easily spotted)
    I have not said... So how on earth do you expect me to know which of the phonic blends you have covered so far this year?
    Why the hell didn't somebody tell me that the only person who can sign my form leaves at 2pm and it's 'against their rules' for me to leave the timesheet
    What the heck is a 'forest school?' and where on earth is the person you told me was going to explain what was going on. I've already taken the register and have 40 year 5/6 that I don't know what to do with.
    I wish I had said... Thanks for telling me that I would be unable to get back into the school after dismissing the children from the church hall after the whole school rehearsal. If I'd known I would have left a note explaining I couldn't mark 40 Maths and English books in the 20 minutes given for dinner time and would not have left my bag in the classroom... luckily my car keys were in my pocket and I'd left my purse at home, but my phone and all my teaching resources were in the school. When I went back the following day to retrieve my belongings and get my form signed, I also found that the somebody had thrown away one of my books and a folder of resourses as they were nowhere to be found...

    All the above happened at the same school. I kept going back as the kids were lovely but the staff treated me like I'd crept from beneath a stone.

     
  12. "It's great not having to go to the gym, isn't it! Carrying around this bag of spare lined paper, spare plain paper, pens, pencils, emergency wordsearches, emergency Welsh dictionary, etc. really keeps my arms toned!" "That was a great story about how drunk you got at Zowie's party, Shaniece. And I must say I'm feeling slightly queasy after your sex story Tyler - good thing I didn't have any breakfast! You Year 8s certainly lead an exciting life!"
     
  13. mmm...Milk

    mmm...Milk New commenter

    I'm sorry Mr Agency, I couldn't possibly work for you today, I have had 3 Phone calls already this morning.
     
  14. Of course it’s perfectly reasonable to be sent to the new “Creative Centre” to look after a drama group. Oh, but it’s not on the map of the School that you gave me and out of six teachers that I ask none of them know where it is. OK, you think it’s somewhere over there. Down the muddy slope of the School field and maybe in that little clump of trees (yes this is a leafy suburb). I’ll scrabble down here and head in the general direction. After all I’ve done the Gold Duke of Edinburgh award. Ah, now I’ve found a building with no signs on it, surrounded by trees, shrubs, a high, wire fence and a seriously locked gate. So I can't get to it. I can see through the fence and bushes that it has a door onto a road that passes by the School. However because the School is “outstanding in it’s safeguarding” I can’t get to the road unless I scrabble back up the grassy knoll go through the main building and exit to the road through the visitors gate necessitating about half a mile walk. I see one or two other teachers from the School on my way and ask their advice but still no one knows of its whereabouts or whether I’m on the right track. At last I’m at the front door of what may or may not be the “Creative Centre” as it has still failed to have any signs applied while I’ve been on my trek. It’s all locked up but, hooray, there is a bell which I ring. A friendly and fresh faced drama teacher opens the door. “Hi,” I say, rather breathless, flushed and with a fair coverage of mud and foliage, “I’m a supply teacher who’s come to teach this drama group.” The reply is the inevitable “oh they’re not here. They are up at the main School. We swapped them over.” I mention, politely and calmly (I think), how nobody in the School knows where the new “Creative Centre” is. Her reply is the perfectly understandable “That’s the way I like it.”
     
  15. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    pites: Sounds familiar - not to mention the mayhem you discover when the class has been relocated. I am now refusing to cover Drama - I don't care how much money I lose. Talk about mission bloody impossible - it's an accident waiting to happen.
     
  16. This is appalling. I have taken on a full time position now and am so glad not to have to put up with this. i always leave lesson plans with full timings etc. on and leave as much info as I can. Hope you are not having such bad experiences now
     
  17. NICOLA44

    NICOLA44 New commenter

    So true! Usually about 15 kids tell you off for getting it wrong.
     
  18. Yes but are you a proper girl/boy?
     
  19. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I've actually replied along those lines on a number of occasions, ie 'I know how to be a proper teacher, do you know how to be a proper student?'
     

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