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Things every workplace can do WITHOUT......

Discussion in 'Personal' started by scienceteachasghost, Mar 18, 2016.

  1. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    1. The backstabbing whingers. Those people that notice a fault in your work and tell your line manger rather than directly to your face.

    2. Slow IT systems. Which invariably cause that starter video when you are being observed to buffer.

    3. Jamming photocopiers. Which always wait until the photocopying is 'urgent' before jamming.

    4. Cup Nazis. Those members of staff who would actually literally kill you if you dare use THEIR mug for your tea/coffee!

    5. Mr/Mrs Misery Guts. Those members of staff who are miserable even if it is a bright sunny day on the last day of the Summer Term.

    6. The impenetrable clique. That group of old timers who have holidayed together for the last 26 years and you are as likely to be 'accepted' into them as Villa winning this years Premiership.

    7. Mr Politically Incorrect. Because itsd 2016 and homophobia is not acceptable anymore, least of all in a school!

    8. The year group from hell. All interventions have failed. Whether it is due to an above critical mass number of nasty children or something was in the water in the local area in 2002, the words '9Z5' are enough to cause palpitations for even experienced staff and three of their teachers are already on long term sick leave, probably with stress.

    9. The data fail year group. Whether its Mrs W and Mr B from the feeder primary giving all the kids Level 5s in their teacher assessment or the fact that when these kids were in Key Stage 3 the school had 58% of its staff as supply, there is no way even with 24/7 intervention sessions between now and the exams these kids are going to make their targets and Ofsted are going to come in as a result!

    10. The child from Hell. The school cannot permanently exclude them due to some deal with the neighbouring secondary, the parents are about as supportive as a rubber tube and due to some 'inclusion initiative' SLT are trialling, the child is allowed to attend lessons despite telling practically all his teachers to ___ off and having squirted little Johnny with 2 molar hydrochloric acid.
  2. WJClarkson

    WJClarkson Occasional commenter

    11. Patronising school leaders (and even some other members of staff) who talk to you as if you're three years old.
    cissy3, Dragonlady30 and kibosh like this.
  3. kittylion

    kittylion Senior commenter

    I was/am a cup Nazi and don't care who knows it!

    Only 15 minutes break, five minutes to get there - no clean cups, someone enjoying their caffeine from mine which was presumably the only clean one because of course they are entitled to use it - it was in the cupboard after all - and they are far above such mundane tasks as washing cups. Oh OK then, I just won't have a drink for the next two hours when no doubt I will have to wash up my own cup (that I haven't even used) before having a cup of tea. Thanks colleague.

    I got a cup with my name on it in the end - and was told off for leaving it dirty in the hall after an inset (when I couldn't find it because someone else had taken it, because of course their needs trumped mine).

    Sorry, sorry, I know it's only a cup and I have to calm down ...

    << wanders off muttering about selfish, entitled idiots>>
  4. talentedbeads

    talentedbeads New commenter

    (Junior school)
    The one toilet among the staff toilets that doesn't flush and there's nothing to indicate it doesn't work.
    Generally the staff/toilet ratio in just about every junior school I've been in.
  5. delnon

    delnon Lead commenter

    12. SLT cup collectors. Eventually you have to send in an assault party to retrieve their collections of cups and mugs from their window-sills and any other flat surfaces in their offices and cupboards.

    And then you have to scrape out the mould and wash them. And then there's no time for a drink anyway.
  6. emilystrange

    emilystrange Star commenter

    people who take things from my room without asking, without my knowledge, and then don't return them.
  7. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    The HoD who filches your resources to pass off as their own and is too arrogant or lazy to bother removing identifiers. Subsequently being informed that this HoD is the best thing to happen to the school.
    cissy3 likes this.
  8. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Microsoft Powerpoint - of no use whatsoever to staff, or to pupils above Primary age. A weapon of mass distraction - all use by SLT should be forbidden by the Geneva Convention.

    Mr Blankstare-Geek - The jobsworth IT technician who acts like he's the only one who knows what he's doing, when in truth he's the only one with sufficient network privileges to change simple things then never gets round to it. Has all the social skills of a small potted cactus.

    Mr/Mrs/Ms Conditional-Formatting - The fast track assistant head who owes their promotion solely to knowing a little bit more about MS Excel than most (outside the ICT dept anyway) so is therefore considered ideal by those above for data crunching.

    Mr/Mrs/Ms Final-Approach - HoD who's a year or two away from retirement and on auto pilot, so nothing whatsoever needs to change. I mean Heaven forbid, that would involve effort on their part and haven't they given enough? Never mind that younger staff are stuck in a log jam as a result.
  9. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    That was me! Although no one would ever get my hands on my mug because I carried it around and put it in my own dishwasher at night. You can call me OCD if you wish but I was rarely off sick with viruses and stomach bugs.
    sabrinakat and Dragonlady30 like this.
  10. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    Years back I was a teacher in a school where the DHT, a rather unpleasant woman from Yorkshire, had her own mug; one with a picture of Selby Abbey on it.

    I would never have used it, heaven forbid, but I did tip the dregs of my coffee into it to make it look like someone had, just to annoy her.

    Later on, when a head, I tried to sort out all sorts of staff room ructions over 'own' coffee mugs by banning them and purchasing a lovely set of identical (and expensive) china mugs and cups.

    Two days later, I found the staff had started tying coloured wool around the handles to identify 'their' mugs and cups!

    'Own' chairs were even more of a problem.
  11. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    It would seem soon the workplace can do without teachers!
    wanet, InkyP, cissy3 and 3 others like this.
  12. Jolly_Roger1

    Jolly_Roger1 Star commenter

    Shortening breaks and lunchtimes. A ten minute break in the morning is useless, by the time all the students have been swept out of the building it's time for them to come in again. Trying to get five year groups through the canteen in half an hour (or less!), so that the first lesson after lunch is often delayed, or students come into your class still eating!
    cissy3 and delnon like this.
  13. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

    Gathering statistics
    Management teams
    delnon likes this.
  14. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    Teachers who have difficulty in relating to other grown ups and so spend all their time with children trying to make out this is a virtue rather than a symptom of their social awkwardness.

    SMT who treat anyone they come across as if they are a child, only found out too late after they have been promoted, being good with kids is not the same as being good with adults.

    Technicians who decide they prefer being an administrator and that the technician part of their job is the least important, waaay less important than typing up lists.
    cissy3 likes this.
  15. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    I wish I'd thought of that.
    aspensquiver_2 likes this.
  16. senlady

    senlady Senior commenter

    The government
    Mangleworzle and delnon like this.
  17. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    Nomad, I LOVE your tales of mischief!!

    When I was at Teacher Training College (yes, I am that old!!) we were given a lecture on 'How to behave on teaching practice!!'

    It included never sit down in the staffroom at break as you'll probably be in some ones chair. Always befriend the caretaker, canteen supervisor and cleaner. Given the chance, they can make your life a misery!!

    The bit about the caretaker and the cleaner I used throughout my 41 year career. I always got things done without having to fill in stupid forms and my room was always as shiny as a new pin. :D
  18. aspensquiver_2

    aspensquiver_2 Senior commenter

    I like the coffee dregs action. Haha
  19. sparkleghirl

    sparkleghirl Star commenter

    And the office staff as well. A little token gift at Christmas makes life smoother all year round.
  20. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    Absolutely. I was sometimes disgusted with the way I heard other teachers speak to them.

    I was very pleased when a number of the cleaners and caretaking staff came to my farewell speech when I left.

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