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Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by rosievoice, Dec 10, 2017.
Mum's is allus gettin kross, it's thurr deefalt.
Mi mam's defawlt hemoshunal settin is rage
Aye thats mams for yer. Me da only firgot to put thi bins out and me mam turnit purple in thi face.
Me an mi da yoused ter ave a grate lyfe... snoozin on thi sofa in t'afternoon, playin on't kompewter.... but mi mam's retyred an ower lyves 'aven't alf changed.
Bluddy mams. My mam can't retyre yet but its harf term next week so me life won't be werth livin.
Y'av mi simpathis. Mi mum's reetyred. Ah can't get on t'churr cus 'er bum's allus on it.
Oh goad. Not a good day. Me mam is in wun of her moods becuz thi Harf Term is nearly finishit and me dad is lyin full length on thi settee waitin for thi rugby to start. Plus one of thi fence panels in oor gardin has come doon in thi wind and next door's wee dug keeps comin through thi gap. Me mam likes thi dug but it keeps yappitin and its gettin on her nerves. I'm aff to find a kwiet place fer a nap. I might try unner thi bed.
Gudd idee. Yippiti-yappiti dugs is plane 'noyin. Ar leest ye get rid o yer mum nekst week. Miyn is eer all t'time.
Puir yew. I dunno why yoominz huv tae retyre. Lazy boggers.
Weer is evrybodee?
Mi da must be feelin puirly... e dusent want is dinna. Ah'll ave it!
Ooh what did yer ave Bevdug? Me mam openit a wee tin of choona for a samwitch today and I perswayded the auld bag tae give me sum.
Ayyyy choona. Wun can onny dreem .....
Mi owd bag ne'er gies us sum.
OW! whut fer did Ah git a wakk?
E woz surposed ter ave smokit sammin chowdah but e dident feel lyke it - so ah gorra bit of sammin!
Sammin is a real treat in this hoose but it allus comes in a tin. Me mam is funny and only likes thi fish whats kept in thi tins or sold in the fishychippy shop. Wot a loonatik.
Aye. Mi mum ses shi 'as summ reel sammun fer us. Now iffen onny shi'd gerr off er bakksyde ...
I hope yer mam shiftit her airse tae get yer thi sammin. My mam came hame from werk thi day, complaynin tha she wuzzent feelin well and said she had a bad chest payne. Me dad was on thi verge of phonin for a hambulance when the styoopit wummin realysed that her bra was tae tight. For goads sake!
It worr orribbul. Non o'us liyket it. Silly wumman ad pepper onnit
What is it with thi yoomanz puttin pepper an salt an other sprinkly things on thi fud?
Ah kno. Same wi' t'vegetubbuls. Ah kno t'ginnys liyk t'veggis but weer meat eyters.
Mi mam an da ave ad a big partee in a mark....marky..... a big tent in t'gardin. Wot they dunt no is that me an mi nefyoo ave peed in the bakk corna.