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Therapy/ counselling re: childhood trauma

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by soulsista, Jul 20, 2011.

  1. Hi Everyone
    Its my first post on this forum and its taken a while for me to pluck up the courage and find the words.

    Started therapy sessions about a month ago and as I've become more settled have opened up to the fact that a lot of distresssing things happened to me when I was younger that I haven't spoken to anyone about.

    Am now starting more intensive counselling to explore this and am feeling a little apprehensive- with summer hols I won't have much distraction and diggiing up all thesew thoughts and feelings I'm finding quite difficult.

    Just wondering if anyoone can offer any advice/thoughts or has been through a similar situation?

    Thanks in advance

    Soulsista xx
     
  2. Hi Everyone
    Its my first post on this forum and its taken a while for me to pluck up the courage and find the words.

    Started therapy sessions about a month ago and as I've become more settled have opened up to the fact that a lot of distresssing things happened to me when I was younger that I haven't spoken to anyone about.

    Am now starting more intensive counselling to explore this and am feeling a little apprehensive- with summer hols I won't have much distraction and diggiing up all thesew thoughts and feelings I'm finding quite difficult.

    Just wondering if anyoone can offer any advice/thoughts or has been through a similar situation?

    Thanks in advance

    Soulsista xx
     
  3. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    Just take one day at a time and keep ploughing through. You will feel better in the long term.
     
  4. I haven't had the same level of trauma as you, but after years of being molested by a "friend of the family" and a lay brother at Church as a small child, without having the faintest idea what or why was happening (Innocence and ignorance were such a protection), when the penny finally dropped, when I was an adult with children of my own, after the Cleveland affair, it hit me like a sack of wet sand.
    I haven't had counselling re that particular problem but i did have the opportunity to discuss it with other girls they did it to. I was surprised at the range of effect it had, so all I can say to you is, yes, it might be painful but not necessarily so. In my own case, when I'd got past the shocking discovery that people i and my parents had trusted had been paedophiles, and it hurt to label people I myself had liked with that particular name, I had to accept that there are sh1t people in the world and unfortunate trusting kids whom they target. Unlucky. And probably unpreventable.
    I am torn between thinking it is a good thing that children are more knowing now, and yet thinking that if the Cleveland thing had never hit the news, tjat I'd have never given my own experience a second thought. I think innocence protects children, but unfortunately protects their predators too.
     
  5. Thank you for your reply Lily. I appreciate you being so open about something so personal to you. I was 13 when my virginity was taken from me which was then followed by a court case against a teacher who was ?over friendly? plus a couple of very destructive relationships where one self harmed continually and blamed me and physical violence from the other. I guess I'm so used to burying these feelings that its quite unusual to actually face them head on. But as I have begun to fall apart emtionaly over the last year I feel that these problems may still lie at the root of the cause. I guess I have never allowed myself to never truly feal with all this.
     
  6. Have you anyone you can discuss these things with? If you find that therapy does give rise to upsetting feelings, it's a long time to try and deal with it alone between appointments.
     
  7. No there isn't really anyone. Can't really talk to my OH about it, or my parents (there is a lot of guilt/blame that I feel from them about the first incident). To be honest its the times in between therapy sessions so far that I've found difficult and we've only been talking about little things (in comparison). Have been trying to keep myself busy and just distract myself with other things but sometimes its easier said than done.
     
  8. Hi Soul sista - you are doing the right thing finding distraction techniques for yourself, it might be worth making yourself a list, maybe with your therapist, of things that work or which she suggests you try. I've worked with a number of traumatised children and sometimes when they are first opening up in therapy they do struggle to contain theur anxiety and distress. These feelings have to be worked through and your therapist should be able to help you with it. Talking about things can be very painful but you should gradually find you feel better. If you let yourself carry this trauma around with you give your abuser far more power than he deserves to have. Good Luck with everything
     
  9. Hi Ruthie thanks for your message. Had my first session with my new therapist todayM there were lots of tears but at least I'm starting to talk about it all. Ironically I'm going into hospital next week so hopefully that will prove a distraction! Not exactly a great way to start the summer hols but I guess things can only get better from here x
     

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