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The what would you choose thread.....

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by finday, Jul 23, 2009.

  1. asnac

    asnac Established commenter

    Tea, as I would be suspicious of any food left on a bench with no one else around.

    Tea bags or tea leaves?
     
  2. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    Bags.

    Would you rather spend an hour ice skating or ten pin bowling?
     
  3. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Hard as they're both awful (in other words I'm hopeless at both) so I will choose the bowling as at least there I'm less likely to break my legs.

    A stroll through a cherry orchard in full bloom with the one you adore and, on arriving at the centre there lies a beautiful picnic spread of dainty assorted sandwiches, mini cakes, cheese straws, bowls of fruit and ice-boxed freshly made ice-creams for you both to enjoy
    or
    apple picking with the one you adore, flagons of homemade cider to drink accompanied by pasties, chunks of cheddar, ham hocks, freshly baked walnut bread, butter straight from the churn and rich fruit cake?
     
  4. asnac

    asnac Established commenter

    Cherry orchard because cider makes me wobbly and woozy and I always regret it.

    Hunt, shoot, skin, gut and roast a rabbit, or hunt, shoot, pluck, gut and roast a pheasant?
     
  5. Rachelmbx

    Rachelmbx Star commenter

    Pheasant.

    Go swimming and have a large group of children that you teach, plus their parents, arrive mid-session?

    Or

    Be out for a run in your new, tighter than expected, running leggings and have to run past a big group of teenagers?
     
  6. asnac

    asnac Established commenter

    Run past the teenagers.

    Following a lunchtime pot-noodle that was unusually spicy, would you prefer to inadvertently but obviously belch in front of sixty 9-11-year-olds as you supervise their silent reading, or the same belch in a staff meeting while the Chair of Governors is asking staff for their opinions about the latest literacy initiative?
     
  7. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    Definitely the staff meeting belch, as the kids would never let me forget it :D

    You are ranting at an unruly Y6 class. You have their full attention. Would you rather have a nose bleed or sneeze/fart combo just as you get them settled?
     
    ShowerGel likes this.
  8. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Nose bleed!
    "Its nothing - settle down," and they would be impressed by my coolness whilst writing a name on the board holding a tissue to my nose.
    "That's your name down three times Frank - you have let down your whole table which will be going to break last unless I am able to remove your name 3 times from the board."
    I reach nonchalantly for a fourth tissue and continue
    "Excellent table 6 - another tick for you and it looks like you will be going out to break first..."
    "Fabulous table 2 - and you too table 3! Pens are moving swiftly! Well done!"
    I reach calmly for someone's swimming towel...

    You sat on a ripe fig that morning which stuck to your skirt and is still there as you enter the worst class in the school to take a maths lesson you are not quite au fait with...
    or
    Same worst class etc but you have a long dried up black bogie hanging from you nostril and don't realise 'till you scratch your nose 5 minutes later...
     
    lardylady likes this.
  9. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    You paint such a vivid picture, Gel!! If ever I have a nose bleed in class I hope I will remain that calm.

    I'll choose the fig.

    The Head walks in unexpectedly during a silent reading session. Would you rather be caught having a sneaky shot of tequila from your thermal mug or a sneaky game of bingo on your laptop?
     
    ShowerGel likes this.
  10. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Thanx lards!:)

    Shot of tequila
    "Oh no! I must have picked up my husband's thermal mug containing a few drops of tequila remaining from his charity walk for dying children he did last night and needed to keep him warm over the 50 miles in subzero temperatures! We bought matching mugs for our 30th wedding anniversary last year and mine is usually filled with spring water. Yuck! yuck! Tequila! Yuck! Let me spit it out! Excuse me HEAD..."

    You phoned in sick and are seen later that day by the HEAD'S husband whilst taking your dogs for a walk...The dogs frolic together and you and HEAD'S hubby chat re the weather...
    or
    You run over the HEAD'S cat on the way to school...
     
  11. asnac

    asnac Established commenter

    Cat. Put it in the boot. Replace it with another from the animal shelter. (Though I've seen enough sitcoms to suspect it wouldn't work.)

    Your casual use of Cockney rhyming slang gets taken literally, so either: £700 worth of apples and pears are delivered when you actually thought you were getting a new staircase; or the postman delivers a (pedigree) dog and bone instead of the new Samsung Galaxy you were expecting.
     
  12. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    Pedigree dog please. (If you can have a pedigree Jack Russell ).

    What would annoy you more on a weekday morning: oversleeping by an hour or the shower breaking when you're covered in rich, soapy suds?
     
  13. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Gosh - that's a hard one - dunno - gosh I dunno which to have...
    Can't make a decision.
    Dunno which to have.
    Keep going from one to the other
    Hmmmmmmm
    Shower or oversleeping??????????
    Gosh
    Hmmmmmmm
    I know I have to choose one
    I know I can't have both
    Hmmmmmmm
    Oh well I'll have OMG this is HARD
    I'LL HAVE THE OVERSLEEPING ONE THEN.
    GO ON THEN - YEAH - I'LL HAVE THAT

    Porridge or toast and marmalade for breakfast?
     
  14. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    Toast and (shredless) marmalade please, with lots of butter.

    You try out a fad diet for a week. Would you choose a week of earing nothing but Stilton or sprouts?
     
  15. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Sprouts
    Stilton is just too gorgeous and I really love sprouts and I don't want to have a heart attack from the Stilton.

    Have your pants drop down in the Coop whilst your are chatting to a parent or have you boob pop out of your bra and poke out of your top whilst doing reading groups?
     
  16. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    The pants scenario.

    Spotted dick & custard or cheese & biscuits?
     
  17. asnac

    asnac Established commenter

    Cheese and biscuits.

    Become a member of a political party whose leader is a demagogue but you get a free packet of chocolate Hobnobs each month and there is no further commitment, or become a member of a political party whose leader is a wet flannel but quite nice really and you get a packet of organic bread flour once a year and there is no further commitment
     
  18. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    I can't understand some of your words asnac i.e demagogue but because quite nice really person sounds good and don't want to eat unhealthy chocolate biscuits and get diabetes and have to have my leg chopped off and get heart disease and die of dementia I'll have the bag of organic flour one.

    Have sore lips but no lip salve on you and you are half way up a scenic mountain (in other words no shops nearby) or you get a blister but have to carry on walking home for the next 5 miles (but have tissues you can stuff down your sock)?
     
  19. asnac

    asnac Established commenter

    My instinct was to go for the first one (the lip salve one). However I then analysed the subtleties. You say that I am 'half way up'. Now, if I am half way up, then there is still half a mountain to climb, and then I must go all the way back down. So actually, I am only a quarter of a way into the journey (though admittedly it is somewhat quicker to descend a mountain than to ascend). So the sore lip business is a problem that could last a considerable part of the day, unless the humidity rises.

    Unfortunately you do not describe the meteorological conditions. This is crucial. I know it's a golden rule on this forum that one must never argue with the scenario that another has created so painstakingly, so I know I must accept the problem as it is presented, but in this case I am really unsure. If the air is dry and cold, with a stiff north breeze, then my lips would become so very uncomfortable that I would start to weep, and then not be able to watch out for crevasses due to the distortion to my vision.

    So, since you do not state that the weather isn't like that, I think I had better assume that it is (safety first and all that) and therefore choose the blister one.

    Get your hair done by someone who's never done hair before, or feet by someone who's never done feet before?
     
    lardylady likes this.
  20. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Feet

    Big Macs, sweets, biscuits, cakes, curries etc and you die an agonizing slow death in and out of hospitals or healthy food only - no butter, sugar, mayo, etc etc and you are quickly and painlessly knocked over by a lorry and die whilst enjoying a bike ride through rolling hills?
     

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