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The virus only gets you after midnight

Discussion in 'Personal' started by modelmaker, Sep 17, 2020.

  1. modelmaker

    modelmaker Star commenter


    Coronavirus: New restrictions in north-east England

    The restrictions, which will be reviewed weekly, also mean restaurants will only be able to offer table service and restaurants, bars and pubs will have to shut between 22:00 BST and 05:00.


    The government is set to introduce tough new measures this week in the northeast of England which could see a strict 10 pm curfew imposed on pubs and restaurants in the region, forcing drinkers, to have to head out a couple of hours earlier instead.

    As infections continue to rise in the UK, millions of drinkers across the country at risk of catching the disease may now have to start drinking at least two hours earlier under new government guidelines to reduce the risk of infection.

    Welcoming the news this morning, heavy drinker Simon Williams, from Newcastle told us, “They had to act I suppose, we canny go on like this, it’s not safe man.

    “With all that coronavirus out there really late at night, we need to get people off the streets man and get them home by 10 pm before they can catch it.

    “I normally go out with the lads about five or six o clock at weekend and stay out till around midnight, but now I’m gonna have to head out about three, instead, or maybe midday, just to be nice and safe like.

    “I’m glad we’ll be home before ten though as I usually get all huggy and kissy when I’m ****** or fancy a bit of a fight on the way home when it’s late, so I can get all that in around 9 pm now, before the virus starts coming out and infecting everyone.

    “I just hope everyone takes it as seriously as me and gets out drinking as early as they can.”
  2. Katzenjammer

    Katzenjammer Senior commenter

    Ah, nothing like a cheap sneer at Geordies to amuse the Mackems and all points south....
  3. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    TCSC47 and sodalime like this.
  4. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    There's always at least one critic to whatever the government tries:p
  5. modelmaker

    modelmaker Star commenter

    I wouldn't take it to heart, @Katzenjammer. There are sufficient regional differences in all four corners of our nation for satire against government policy to be had. I'd post similar if the Home counties were in lockdown. The point being made of course, is that it makes no difference where a lockdown like this happens, a policy like this makes no sense at all.
  6. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    What was that film about sweet little creatures who become ravening beasts if fed after midday?
  7. nomad

    nomad Star commenter


    (And it was midnight!)

    agathamorse likes this.
  8. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    I just remembered. When can you feed them?
  9. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    Theoretically never, because before any midnight will be after another one.
  10. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    That was always my thinking.

    It was unanswered flaw in an otherwise entirely credible film.
  11. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

  12. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    There was a series "Wives and Daughters" too.
    racroesus likes this.
  13. CraigCarterSmith

    CraigCarterSmith Lead commenter

    This cannot be enforced can it? i pity the poor police who have to tell your Northern Englanders who were forced to go back to work that they can't blow off steam down the town on a Friday/Saturday night

    oooooooft...........Good Luck
    agathamorse and phlogiston like this.
  14. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    Beat me to it.
    nomad likes this.
  15. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    I don't see it happening.

    Those who should most follow the rules won't, and those who will be following the rules are the ones who were most likely being sensible anyway.

    Still, I don't expect the government to be too bothered. Having people to blame is a very useful diversion.

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