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The Super-Top-Secret World Domination Thread

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Bethannie, Jul 30, 2012.

  1. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Good Morning All!
    I would like to start by re-iterating my most humble apologies to Dozymare. I was wrong! I am not some politician who will try and hide her mistakes....I was wrong. I think a world leader should endeavour to do what is right and if she makes a mistake should be prepared to admit it and make amends.
    Currently the world is split into two hemispheres. I govern the North and boxy the South.
    Here is my proposal....We want a unified world - world peace (under a group of caring governors) is our aim. ....I believe that we can achieve this if we are honest and work together. (Which is sadly why I am not sure that boxy is up for the task....she works alone and has a tendency towrads megalomania)
    As I currently govern the North, I can appoint these governorships...
    beth: All German Speaking countries. Also Usa and Canada for the TV...(also any non-taken countries will be governed by me until they are taken...I accept this is temporary)...trade agreements for yummy German/Austrian cakes are guaranteed.....negotitions on TV are also open...and many actors will become available as 'comsorts' and 'minions'.
    Spurks: Italy, Scandanavia and Yorkshire (which is no-longer part of England)
    Ginny: Russia - (including the Steppes)....Ginny will experiment with the fruit/veg growing here and hopefully trade can be agreed.
    Dozymare...England....with consorts Mickey Mouse, Northern Santa and Cookery Nick (Santa to be allowed to carry on his Christmas work)
    palestpink...France, Switzerland (French and Italian spreaking cantons) and Lapland.
    Gargs: Denmark and all former Soviet countries except Russia

    boxy currently governs the South...we do not condone violence or assassination. However, if in the not too distant futre something awful should happen and boxy was inexplicably inable to continue her despotc rule, then I suggest the following division...
    palest pink.....Cookie Islands (including Santa) and South Africa...trade agreements in gold, jewels et.c are guaranteed. ....I also suggest palestpink to temporarily take all 'unclaimed' Southern lands until they are placed under official governorship...much as I do with the North)
    beth: Singapore
    Spurks: New Zealand
    Ginny: has stated she has no interest in anywhere in the South.
    Dozymare: has stated she has no interest in anywhere in the South (but I suggest she considers two small places?...one for her Southern home, somewhere nice for a short holiday?.....and perhaps an island far away from Englad for her husband to inhabt!)
    Gargs: To negotiate with palestpink for some prime land.

    In the future we hope that scientific endeavous will allow us to conquer space. At this time we will come to an amicable agreement over suns, stars and planets.

    Let us not allow our own individual greed stop us in our utterly reasonable plan for world domination. The world cannot go on as it is...it needs us! We have a duty to civilization. We must work together!

     
  2. Good morning Beth [​IMG]
    I am so glad to see that like me you wish to live in perfect harmony with others!
    I would like to claim all the islands off the USA and Canada,thank you.
    I like singing so here are a couple of <strike>rubbish</strike> delightful tunes from my <strike>early youth </strike>Granny's day to hum[​IMG]
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1u6628Rdqs
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jr9hPbYmBo
    Yours co-operatively
    Pinks x
    *********************************************************************
    Gargs - watch out
    I've just realised a lot of S hemisphere islander types boiled N H peeps in a big pot over a fire and this reminded me of dozy's warning.[​IMG]
    Beware Bethannie (or anyone) bearing organic veg boxes or BOGOF stew pack offers from Tescos!
    I also think they are stuck in 20th century world dominating ideas. We need a 21st century idea so need Google Apple Microsoft etc - that will cause the real trouble! We need to get West Coast USA especially California.
     
  3. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    Now, no one has mentioned Europe I would quite like Switzerland (with all those lovely Bank accounts), Austria (as requested before, but seems to have been ignored), . I would also like Egypt -(Ginny would like the tombs as her underground tunnels).Also Malta should be mine as I have had such a lovely holiday there in the past. (Bethy, I think you need to keep an eye on Pinks and Gargs-they are planing to overthrow you..........)
     
  4. gargs

    gargs Star commenter

    Pinks -
    Good thinking! How about we nab Hong Kong/Japan? Everyone knows that's where the technology genius is based, and, being an island, comes under our jurisdiction.
    I am deeply concerned by Bethannie's sudden change of tone - she appears to have become...nice! (Note the lack of talk about minions in her previous missive.) I suspect that this is a cunning plan to lull us into a false sense of security (clearly, she is in league with that devious rodent - how else could such a cunning plan have been concieved?).
    As we have control of some very fertile land, I suggest only eating foods we have grown ourselves, just to be on the safe side.
     
  5. Hello all!
    Beth - do have some lovely apple crumble and ambrosia custard!
    Sparks - I'm afraid I have the non German speaking parts of Switerland, as beth is now so reasonable I am sure she will share her little lederhosen wearing canton with you [​IMG]
    <strike>Mad murerous rodent</strike> Handsome&beautiful furry one - have you gone to Peru yet?
    Gargs -
    You are not the only one - highly suspicious
    Yes we claim Japan and Hong Kong, offer them tea and asian tasty things, plant our flag, then island hop (?) over to California and grab the unis there as they are full of the computer giants' offspring.
    Yes to the grow your own - I have just acquired an allotment so if you need anything let me know [​IMG]
    Pinks x
     
  6. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Ooooh apple crumble and custard....yummy!
    I want to assure everyone - I have not turned 'nice'! I am just looking at things reasonably...we are stronger together than we are apart.
    SparklePug....all German speaking countries belong to me! And I don't share! But, if it is cakes you want I am more than happy to trade with you...perhaps for some Yorkshire tea, and maybe some crumpets if you have a bakery that makes them!
    palestpink....I think you'll find that California is part of the USA - and therefore mine! However, I only want the USA for its TV and films....and certain actors.... however, I am willing to consider allowing California to secede from the Union and the you and Gargle can quietly <strike>muscle</strike> move in and take over!In return, I would like to arrange a trade agreement for cocoa and coffee....both commodities in which I am interested, but which my own lands do not supply in sufficient quantities...is this acceptable.

    As we are all being extra fluffy and super reasonable, I would like to offer palestpink and Gargs a nice fruit box each....it will be delivered by Ginny, she does a lovely line on 'gift' boxes.

    (Sparky....I agree about keeping an eye an palestpink and Gargs....especially Gargs,,,palestpink was much more reasonable until she came along! And I believe Gargs is much closer to boxy than we realise...much, much closer!.....and could you ask Ginny to provide two of her most 'special' fruit deliveries?)
     
  7. OOOhhh Beth, I love fruity surprises especially delivered by cute fluffy rodents.
    Please do have some shortbread - we are making some for the closing ceremony.
    Would you like some cupcakes too?
    PSSST gargs get your ribbon ready to twirl around a small fluffy thing!
    [​IMG]
     
  8. gargs

    gargs Star commenter

    [​IMG]
    oh no! plan back-fired!
     
  9. [​IMG]
    Never mind Rome wasn't built in a day!
    (Goes to find a ribbon twirling thing )
     
  10. dozymare1957

    dozymare1957 Occasional commenter

    Members of the World Domination Northern Hemisphere Alliance (Henceforth known as the WoDoNoHA). I cannot help but notice that there is a lot of suspicion and unrest amongst us. This concerns me. For this to work we need to be a team - there is no I in team remember!
    There has to be a <strike>dictator</strike> leader to guide us along the correct route. In a democratic society an election would take place for this position but this is not going to be a democratic society, is it? Let us, therefore, agree to <strike>dump all the problems of leadership </strike> agree to allow the lovely Bethannie, whose idea this was in the first place, to take full control. Lets us offer her our full support and loyalty. So what if she wants to call us minions? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. We know that we are her equals (some of us know that we are her superior but we don't need to boast, do we?)
    Bethannie has the organisational skills of any good German and will ensure that her promises are fulfilled. She has already mentioned parking, sanitary protection, cakes and wine - things that are vital to our happiness. Allow Bethannie to draw up a world map allocating the regions that we require (this will keep her occupied for hours[​IMG]) together with trading agreements between different member states. She also needs to produce a Declaration of Domination which we will all agree to sign.
    Everyone needs to create a definitive list of their requirements immediately and send it to our great leader in order that she can produce the appropriate documentation (she's going to be so busy today)
    In accordance with the requirements of the WoDoNoHA I hereby state my requirements:
    England - minus Yorkshire which has been granted independance due to it's amazing athletes
    Walt Disney World
    Patrick Dempsey - I just want to gaze at him
    Santa (during his rest period of summer will stay with me)
    Mickey Mouse will also visit regularly but I am not selfish enough to want to keep him all the time.
    Nick from cookery will tend to my culinary needs
    A chauffeur driven car
    Trading agreements with Germany and Austria for cakes and bread (not Pumpernikel)
    An endless supply of chocolate, cake and biscuits that are yummy but totally calorie free

    As you see, I am not demanding.
    Please let Bethannie have a clear list of your requirements so that she may arrange everything to our satisfaction.
    World domination can only succeed where there is harmony.
     
  11. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Dozy...your post was a delight to read! And full of so much common sense!
    (I do love making charts and maps....when revising, if I had 10 hours for revision, the first 9 1/2 hours were spent drawing up multi-coloured timetables!)
    I have read your requirements and they do indeed sound more than reasonable.
    I hereby grant you full governorship of England (which no longer includes Yorkshire).
    I grant freedom from the USA to Walt Disney World and state that from this moment forth it shall be a part of England.
    Patrick Dempsey, Mickey Mouse, Northern Santa, and Cookery Nick are given to Dozy and shall perform whatever duties it is her pleasure to require of them.
    A small fleet of cars complete with chauffeurs shall be at Dozy's disposal.
    The United Dominion of Beth will enter into trade agreements with England on terms deemed mutually beneficial to both parties. (beth will provide coffee and cakes for nourishment during the trade discussions)


    As soon as a peaceful treaty has been agreed and the World is under our united and benign domination, then there will be no need for scientists to produce weapons. (Let's face it we already have enough weapons to destroy this beautiful world several times over...why work on anything more destructive?) Scientists will be redeployed, and a small team will work on Space Travel (so we can offer stars and planets to the World Governors)....but most scientists will work on useful projects...including the production of delicious cakes, biscuits, chocolates et.c that are totally calorie/fat free.
    (Are you going to inform Nick of his new duties?!!!!.....oh and whatever you do don't give him chauffeur duties!....He tends to prang cars!)
     
  12. dozy - on the face of it I would go along with that!
    I am far too lazy to make long posts or to think things through so I agree [​IMG]
    I think gargs and I could supply you with chocolate as in our domains we are rich in those assets, possibly over flowing. I am working on a weight reducing but luxury tasting chocolate range so name your flavours and I'll send some.
    I will make a list of my queendoms when I have taken DD to the station and done some work!
    Up the WoDoNoHA[​IMG]
    Pinks x
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    not sure what to make of this gargs - I am inclined to trust dozy but she has spent a <u>lot </u>of time thinking about this so she may be a plotter
     
  13. Woah! Hang on a wee minute here! (As Billy Connolly would say!)
    There seems to be some talk here of a "united' World Domination...
    It is NOT united... I'm in charge of the Southern Hemisphere, and Bethannie is in charge of the Northern Hemisphere.
    I'm very disappointed in the lack of response for people wanting to come Down Under... you will all end up as Bethannie's slaves!
    Understand this.. as long as I'm in charge of the Southern Hemisphere, I will be controlling the coffee, the fruit, the diamonds, the sexy Maori men, the drugs..... and THE CHOCOLATE!!!!
    Anyone like to re-think the situation?

     
  14. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    palestpink...Your Majesty!....
    I am thrilled that you agree with dozy's suggestion that we work together.
    You will have to decide on the name for your new domain....The Queendom of palestpink?
    The UDB will be happy to work with you, As co-governors of what has up until now been known as Switzerland, you and I have some of the top chocolatiers working for us. I like your idea of 'weight-reducing' chocolate...the more I eat the slimmer I become?....Nice!
    The UDB also has some top space scientists working for us (they used to be German and American!) ...we hope that we will soon be in a position to offer you governorship of the stars as you have requested.....in return for our scientific cooperation in this field, I hope that we can come to trade agreements for such commodities as cocoa, coffee and perhaps a few precious gems for my own regalia?

     
  15. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    boxy! Oh dear....things have changed since you were last here!
    I'm not quite sure how to tell you this....but you no longer govern the whole of the Southern Hemisphere!
    Please don't panic! For the good of the whole world, we have decided that co-operation is the way forward.
    I am not looking for slaves...we are all governors together. All governors are equal (some may be more equal than others, but that's just semantics!)
    I appear to have been democratically elected as the Administrative Head of this new, unified order. I did not actively seek office, but will endeavour to carry out the task set before me to the best of my considerable abilities.
    New Zealand - complete with Maoris now falls under the rule of Sparks.
    South Africa - with the diamonds is under the rule of Queen palestpink.
    Ginny has great plans for growing fruit and veg in her Russian province.
    Cocoa beans are produced in a number of countries and Switzerland (where the best chocolate is made ) is co-ruled by palestpink and myself.
    I would like to make peace with you. You have skills. We could use a leader such as yourself.
    My suggestion is this...
    You may keep the governorship of Australia.
    You may keep the part-time agreement we have already established re Gibbs.
    If you wish a Northern home then if you let me know where your interests lie, then we will endeavour to accommodate this request.
    I sincerely hope that you will see the logic in maintaining a united front.

     
  16. No way, Bethannie! The Southern Hemisphere is mine!
    You are not in a postion to be giving out countries in the South, and I offered New Zealand to Spurkels!
    Who elected you <strike>boss of the Universe</strike> head of the World?
    Any of your <strike>minions</strike> co-leaders will be <strike>shot on sight</strike> persuaded to return to the North...
     
  17. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    The WoDoNoHA is a peaceful alliance. We do not condone violence. We are working together for the good of the world.
    *twitches convulsvely*
    We are stronger together than we are apart. Dozy convinced me of this in her amazingly well-thought-out post.
    I have the utmost respect for my co-governors.
    *twitches again*
    I no longer seek world domination on my own. I seek it as part of the glorious WoDoNoHA.
    Although we are the Norethern Hemisphere Alliance, it was felt necessary that we ensure the supply of certain commodoties. To this end, a few parts of the Southern Hemisphere were swiftly and harmlessly annexed. As Southern Hemisphere leader, you currently control what remains.
    As Administrative Head of WoDoNoHA, I ask that you join with us. I feel that the 'joining together' of the South could prove benficial to us all. I have made an initial suggestion. Please feel free to state the terms on which you would consider joining us.
    Boxy, believe me, we can and will succeed. With or without you. Please see reason and join us.

    My fellow governors....I have noticed that Israel is currently not under any specific governorship. As a Christian, I have always wanted to visit the Holy Land, and have thus decided to take it as part of the United Dominion of Beth (UBD)


     
  18. All I can say is that this will take a lot of thinking about for a sweetpea!
    Do you have a dummies guide to world domination? I have spent many years in F/KS1 and it is all getting too much. SOBBBBBBB
    Any way I am thinking of becoming PPWIG Palestpink incorporating Gargs but don't think it is cheerful enough or gives the right impression.
    Off to read these threads and think of a better name
    Thanks for the stars Beth - I love cooperation *sings the coke advert [​IMG]*
     
  19. Annie - do not despair gargs and I are with you.
    I have a finger in all pies and we have most areas covered N, S, skies, google, apple, microsoft, islands Santa (except a few weeks off in the summer when dozy gets him for something. We are thinking in a modern 21st century way - blow the maps and charts- we have apple software to flash stuff up.
    We have also been <strike>slobbing out</strike> keeping fit by watching the rhythmic gymnastics at the Olympics - see garg's captured dog! This is very pretty to watch and I like pretty things [​IMG]
    Me with my pinky ribbon - lovely[​IMG]
    [​IMG] Pinks x
     
  20. dozymare1957

    dozymare1957 Occasional commenter

    Bethannie, I think you are fogetting the name of our alliance - World Dominiation Northern Hemisphere Alliance. You should really consult with the leader of the WoDoSoHA before sharing out her domain.
    However, Annie, you should seriously consider whether an alliance between both hemispheres might prove beneficial to you. If Bethy is in charge she will have all the plotting and planning to take care of - this will give her little time for Gibbs who I believe is of interest to more than one member of the Alliance. TBH she has only offered rather troublesome areas like New Zealand to the northerners. Do you really want NZ? They have a decathlete called Newdick!
     

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