1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

The most hopeless 'sting' operation in history ...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by circuskevin, Aug 21, 2019.

  1. circuskevin

    circuskevin Occasional commenter

    Crime has long been banned and hooligans learn to unicycle where I live.

    A month ago some stilts and cyco cycles were stolen overnight from my unlocked van. It was duly reported to the police who didn't seem particularly keen on dispatching any officers to investigate.

    Last Friday I discovered they were being advertised on 'Shpock'. Again to my dismay the police did not consider this top priority to investigate.

    This morning I showed the adverts to a local Yemeni shopkeeper who fixes many a mobile phone. He started trying to track the advertiser down. Later he offered to start a 'sting' operation. I informed the police and a detective did ring. Target time was 8.30pm. The police did explain that terrorist operations they would sit and wait in patrol cars for perpetrators to appear but not sadly for clown bike thieves.

    As 8.30 approached I unicycled past a police car. The policeman inside had heard of the proposed sting and agreed to join in.

    "I'm scared!" the tech savvy shopkeeper squealed as we were about to meet the thieves. I went alone to try and find the policeman who was circling in his car.

    We all met together a few minutes later. The policeman had seen a lady peeping through a hedge before walking down the road. The police presence had stopped any hope of a transaction.

    Putting our observations and information together a house was targeted for the policeman to knock on.

    He returned empty handed but had a man's name to check on the police computer.

    At 11pm he rang to say he had returned to the house where they had handed over my circus stuff. It is now back in my house.

    A completely disorganised but ultimately successful 'sting' operation.

    Kevin
     
  2. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    FYI - that's spelled psycho
     
    sabrinakat likes this.
  3. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    lock your van
     
    chelsea2, knitone and blue451 like this.
  4. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    He doesn't need to lock it, it only has one wheel!
     
    colpee and nomad like this.
  5. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    A great start to your novel Kevin. Looking forward to the next installment.
     
    sabrinakat likes this.
  6. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    Are we really meant to believe this nonsense???
    I certainly didn't bother to read it all. Can @circuskevin be one of thos russian bots which cause such trouble?
     
  7. smoothnewt

    smoothnewt Star commenter

    True or not, it made me smile this morning.
    :)
     
    sabrinakat and anotherauntsally like this.
  8. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    You missed out the bit where you transformed the lives of a severely disabled car breaker by being the only person that they have ever met that correctly diagnosed that all their complex neurological, physical, intellectual,educational and socioeconomic disadvantages could be over come by walking on stilts.
     
  9. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    [Ding ding ding ding]

    ... completely disorganised but ultimately successful 'sting' operation.

    And then I woke up. It was all a dream.


    "Can I go out to play, Miss?"

    "Yes Kevin, if you have finished writing your story."

    [Kevin grabs his unicycle and runs out to the playground]
     
  10. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    Any story that includes police disorganization and incompetence has a ring of truth in it, in my book.
     
    nomad likes this.
  11. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    Oh yes, good point. Deduct a mark for that.
     
    nomad likes this.
  12. colpee

    colpee Star commenter

    And the sides fall off when it stops
     
  13. sabrinakat

    sabrinakat Star commenter

    Did everyone clap?
     
    nomad and colpee like this.

Share This Page