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The \I can't have kids"Support Group"""

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by slippeddisc, Apr 19, 2008.

  1. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I'm no expert, but I recommend you get some counselling. Leaving him isn't going to change anything or make it go away!




     
  2. Good night Lilac

    Hopefully next time we talk it will be on a more light hearted subject. I appreciate your time

    I hope you sleep better than I do.

    x
     
  3. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    It seems far too easy for other people to have children.
    I'm struggling today [​IMG]
     
  4. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    ((((Lilachardy))))
    We all have days when we struggle.
    Not much to say really, just to let you know I'm thinking of you.
    Life just doesn't feel fair some days.
    (I recently found out my niece is expecting - yes, she'll be a terrific mum, but damn it all so would I!)
     
  5. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    I'm so sorry Lilachardy. Could you go out and do something to take your mind off things? Easier said than done but it might help a bit. I had a day like that a few days ago. I went to town on the bus and seeing such useless parents really *** me off. Look after yourself. I am here to chat if you want.

     
  6. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter


    Thank you both.

    I'm on a downer today, and I'm just picking on this one issue for something to focus on!

    I'd like to go out, but there's not really anywhere I can think of!
     
  7. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    How are you doing today?
     
  8. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter


    Much better today thanks - a good sleep helped!
    You ok?
     
  9. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    Glad you're ok. Yeah I've had a good day thanks.
     
  10. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Feeling angry and upset this morning.
    Yesterday I met a friend of my mum..she has a teenage-daughter, just come back from college in London - pregnant. Doesn't want the child..she just got drunk one night, didn't use protection, doesn't even know the father. So, she's come home for a few weeks to have an abortion and decide if she wants to go back to college...she 'isn't sure' she wants to be a mum yet - 'maybe next year'!
    How can people have such a cavalier attitude towards having a baby?
    Life just ain't fair!
    (Just wanted to let off steam...it's so annoying that a girl with that sort of attitude gets pregnant 'by mistake'! and others go through life with the misery of knowing however hard they try, it's not going to happen for them.)
     
  11. Sorry that you are struggling Bethanie. We know that life is unfair. Whether she had the baby or not, it won't change your situation. Some days you just have to take one at a time. Take care x
     
  12. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    Thanks!
    I know it doesn't change anything. I think I just found it overwhelming having to sit and listen to her (and her mother) whinging about how life is unfair to her - how it wasn't her fault, and her whole life could be messed up by this, and how abortions are so easy and safe and it won't stop her having kids when she's ready.....I just wanted to slap her! (I could see mum looking at me, willing me not to do anything 'embarrassing' like shouting that I can't have kids and would gladly take hers!....not an option, not that I'd seriously ask!...but she doesn't want to have the child and adopt because it will 'ruin her figure!)
    I do feel better....a few hours, a decent pot of (decaff) tea and a few miles between me and the stupid ingrate of a teenager, works wonders!
     
  13. Glad you are feeling better. Take care x
     
  14. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    I think we need a special group hug today. I always feel very down on Mothering Sunday as I know I will never be one. It's far too late for anything to happen now, but let's all join together to help each other cope.

    (((((((((( all posters on this thread))))))))))
     
  15. Has any of you been watching the "Find me a family" series??

     
  16. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    Thanks everyone.
    I watched the last 'find me a family' programme.
     
  17. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    Totally pee'd off today. I have had two friends asking me if I am pregnant. I know I don't look well at the moment but these two friends know I can't have children. Only my family and 3 close friends know I'm not able to have children (including these 2 friends) and it's been so hard to tell them. I can't believe how insenstive they've been today. They both said it in a jokey way as if they've totally forgotten everything I've told them.

     
  18. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I know how that feels - I think people do sometimes genuinely forget, or just make a comment without thinking.

    xxxx
     
  19. Hi all, hope you don't mind me joining in. We had been trying for 2 years before we were told that we couldn't have children and wouldn't be eligible for IVF as I have too high hormone levels (am 'peri-menopausal).
    We decided to adopt and are now almost at the end and are hoping to go to panel in August! It's taken over a year so far from making our first enquiry to now. We are now really looking forward to having our baby soon and are keeping quite positive about it all.
    I have found it really hard at work with the insensitive comments too like most of you have. The ones that bug me are the 'I only got pregnant so I could get out of teaching that class/ofsted etc and I think I will have another to avoid that class etc.
    My fave though is the 'Oh once you adopt a child you will get pregnant.' Don't you just love em!!
    Still makes a change from the usual - it's so easy to adopt or that they will treat you really badly and end up on drugs when they are older cos they are adopted. I try to let it just go over my head now! Still hard though.
    Good luck to you all on your journeys.
    Lou
     
  20. Hello all.
    Really hope everyone's well. I haven't been on here for a while, and just came across this thread. I confess I used to frequently read the pregnancy section and feel simultaneously hopeful and frustrated that it seemed so easy for some people. Just wanted to post and say how much it means to me that this thread exists. I've had five miscarriages now, four very early, one later, and now don't know what the way forward is. My doctor believes I've now stopped ovulating, and says there should be a way to treat it, but as much as I would love a child I'm not at all sure I can mentally cope with another miscarriage, and I'm absolutely terrified of that possibility. Finding this thread has really helped me to process things. My last miscarriage happened after I was injured during a fight between students, and it's something that is literally still burning in me. I read a post further back about how we tend to pick up the pieces of everyone elses bad parenting and yet despite that instinct we can't do it ourselves. It rips me apart if I let it. I feel completely crazy that it upsets me so much. Anyway; thank you for creating this thread. Just knowing that there are others who understand helps. Thank you. S. x
     

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