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The Dirty Normal - the poll

Discussion in 'Personal' started by grumpydogwoman, Mar 20, 2016.

?

Do you ponder much about your 'personal appetites' and how others feel?

  1. Very rarely

    3 vote(s)
    42.9%
  2. Often

    1 vote(s)
    14.3%
  3. It's too vexatious to dwell on

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. It just opens a can of worms

    2 vote(s)
    28.6%
  5. I wish I could be more open and honest

    1 vote(s)
    14.3%
  6. I think people should talk about it less

    2 vote(s)
    28.6%
  7. It's difficult to find sensible resource material

    1 vote(s)
    14.3%
  8. Where do you start?

    1 vote(s)
    14.3%
  9. I try hard NOT to think about it

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  10. Leave me to my erotic movies. Thanks.

    1 vote(s)
    14.3%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    It's about xes so, if you can't cope with adult conversations about you-know-what (and many here can't without a fit of the vapours), go no further if you're of a delicate persuasion.

    Radio 4. Woman's Hour. Emily Nagoski.

    http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/2010/02/27/do-you-know-when-you-want-it/

    I thought it was very interesting. All about involuntary xesual responses, about long-term relationships and waning desire, about issues of consent. Stuff like that.

    I like her analogy of making lemonade if life gives you lemons. You don't really feel like it. You'd actually rather hoped to be planting some daffs. But hey. The other one is in the mood so the daffs can wait. It's hardly ground-breaking but quite a sensible way to think about xes sometimes.

    If I did what I said I was going to do and set up my own SRE day-show touring schools (and anyone was daft enough to hire me) I'd use Nagoski's work to generate some conversation.
     
  2. cuteinpuce

    cuteinpuce Star commenter

    Why is it called the dirty normal? :confused:
     
    aspensquiver_2 likes this.
  3. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    Yeah, that all seems quite sensible.
     
  4. cuteinpuce

    cuteinpuce Star commenter

    Maybe. But being sensible about sex seems a bit...underwhelming.
     
  5. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    Talking about sex for us Brits is very difficult due to Victorian and religious repression which still exists in many places. It is probably an age thing, as young men are completely phallocentric as far as I am aware (I was!). The fact that things like rape and extreme internet stuff (the worn p o r n is banned) still exist in our society is indicative of the repression and control that the "state" likes to have over us. (This forum is the same with moderator nannies afraid that someone might get upset by something a bit sweary or sexual).
     
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  6. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    You can say pornography. The objection is to the informal version.
     
  7. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Yes, you can use the full form BUT I don't see why we should be dictated to in this way. It's absurd. This is a personal forum. It's not a scientific journal.

    It also reinforces the idea that p o r n is distasteful or wrong. That is both wrong and unhelpful. There is abusive and exploitative p o r n and there is material that people enjoy and has harmed nobody in the viewing or making.
     
  8. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    You missed the option I need GDW
    I'm in the "I can't be bothered with it at my age" category
     
    sabrinakat and monicabilongame like this.
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I know! The format of the polls is poor. You quickly run out of options. They don't say you have 8 or 7 or 9 possible answers. You just run out without warning! Bah.
     
  10. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    I'm confused... is this about the appetites or the satiating of those appetites? And the discussion with a partner about appetites to find you are hungry at different times of the day and maybe with differing intervals between meals?
     
  11. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Yes, exactly that. And it is a minefield, is it not?

    Do you fancy a bite?
    Not just at the moment, thanks.
    You sure?
    Why?
    I just thought you might.
    Do you?
    Yes, I do. Kind of.
    Oh.
    Oh?
    You do fancy a bite then.
    Yes, that's what I said.
    Oh.
    Oh?
    Well.....

    You know. Those conversations. ;)
    That obviously nobody else has!!! ;)
     
  12. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

    I think the media has almost reached the point of obsession with sexual topics. What consensually goes between a couple is a private matter. Public interest in what couples do is a strange thing for me and I put that to you in its mildest form.
     
    sabrinakat and cuteinpuce like this.
  13. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    The internet exists to cater for it in its more extreme forms.... many times over.
     
  14. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

    Really?
     
  15. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    It's a reference to pornography...

    In some ways we've become too open... in others we are still childlike in our immaturity, sniggering at stuff.
     
  16. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Some of have reached a point when thinking and doing is too much energy wasted.
    Besides why the fuss over something which is a normal part of life....till you get like me :(
     
  17. aspensquiver_2

    aspensquiver_2 Senior commenter

    Riiiight. How very jolly.
     
  18. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I too am a bit confused about what we are supposed to be discussing. I read the blog by Nagoski and i don't agree with her.
     
  19. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I don't know either and it was all my idea.

    So - with what do you not agree, @kibosh?
     
  20. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    I haven't voted in the poll ... still mulling it over.
     

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