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The dangers of scrumping!

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by BelleDuJour, Aug 31, 2011.

  1. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I have just been srumping from trees in my friend's livery yard. The trees ar on top of a high bank and are dripping with fruit.....damsons and mirabelles!
    Now, climbing up the bank wasn't so difficult but I seriously underestimated the power of fallen fruit! I was climbing over and around piles and piles of fallen damsons then met my Waterloo on the way back down. I stepped in some fallen fruit and 'whoosh'.....down I slid to the bottom of the bank. sliding through pounds and pounds of squishy damsons and ended up flat on my face in stinging nettles!
    So now my face is round and swollen and most of me (and my clothing.....nice, clean jodphurs) is a lurid shade of purple! I had to remove my boots and drive home barefoot as the damson coated soles would have stained the light carpets in my car and Mr Belle would m=not have been impressed! I look like Violet Beuaregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory after she chewed the blueberry bubble gum!
    My hoard is pretty impressive though, but next year I shall scrump earlier to avoid the pile of windfall fruit!
    *Cosmos, I hope you appreciate I have risked life and limb for you [​IMG]
  2. Thought I was the only one with this guilty annual habit. I fear I may have a mental affliction as every year I find great difficulty walking past a heavily laden fruit tree, regardless of its location, and sneeking booty into my pockets or anything to hand be it carrier bags, small childrens' pockets or hands, and hoping I don't get caught. So desperate is my condition that I visit a (relatively) local National Trust property on an annual basis with the sole intention of raiding fruit from their walled garden and removing it by stealth to my car to the great embarrassment of my family who fail to see why I can't simply pop into Sainsbury's like everyone else. I have even passed on the location to a colleague who 'caught' me at it last year and asked me recently if 'that time of year' was approaching again! The adrenaline rush I feel as I check around me to ensure my crime goes undetected is testimony to the severity of this affliction as I cannot bear to see fruit lying rotting under trees and if I were a fruit tree I would weep for my lost children.

    Sorry to hear that the tree tried to beat you back this year BelleDuJour, but I know how you feel and hope the bruises were worth it as you admire your ill gotten gains.

    I really must plan to visit my secret walled garden this weekend as I can feel the urge beginning, so the fruit must be nearly ready to pick. I'll remember to take appropriate footwear though!

    Personally I blame it on Adam and Eve for giving me the temptation gene.
  3. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Well, it wasn't exactly illicit scrumping as I did ask my friend if I could rob her trees and you know what? She didn't even know what the mirabelles were!
    The trees were so heavy with fruit it was criminal not to pick it.....next year I'll do even more and might even have another go this year!
    Anyway, jodphurs now in wash, purples stains removed from person but face pink and very tingly down the right hand side. Maybe I should put in request for the stingers to be cut bask before my next foray!
  4. Right. Small woman, big boobs, bright purple with pink face. Got it. [​IMG]
    Are you ok?
  5. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Face is itching a bit now, purple has been washed off, jodphurs clean.
    TBH stinging nettles have had an effect a bit like botox!
    Am thrilled with mirabelles! About to bag them up ready for tomorrow.....how exciting! [​IMG]
  6. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Just sorted my haul and got 7 and a half pounds of damsons and just under 3 pounds of mirabelles.
    I shall share my loot with Cosmos tomorrow!
  7. good score. Shame about the nettles. i hope you recover quickly.
    i had a lovely time visiting a friend on a smallholding. I was in heaven with all the blackberries ready for picking. had to avoid the nettles and the prickles on the blackberries. Both got me at times. I also got to pick gages and apples. Couldn't bring many home on the train unfortunately.
  8. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Isn't it fun!
    I was so excited finding a mirabelle tree I can't tell you!
    We've got blackberries here the size of small bunches of grapes, and the sloes around our paddock are the sixe of marbles. Going to be a bumper harvest this year!

  9. Lol Belle aka Violet [​IMG]
  10. Ooh, may I join you next year? My damson jam is nearly all gone from our previous scrump!
  11. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Deffo. If I go and get some more I'lllet you have some this year!
  12. That's kind! Lunch 1pm on Sunday. Really looking forward to it though weather forecast indicates another indoors picnic rather than tropical clothing outdoors! (Not expecting any damsons yet!!)
  13. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Looking forward to it as well!

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