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The bad jokes thread

Discussion in 'Personal' started by scienceteachasghost, Nov 7, 2015.

  1. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    Lets start with one........

    I was explaining to my teenage daughter on a day out at the races about the different ways in which you can bet. I explained that there are some bookmakers who set their own odds and that there is another one where the payout to winners is based on the proportion of bets for each horse and how this has to be a fairer system.

    'Like TOTES!' she replied!
     
    kibosh likes this.
  2. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

  3. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    Living with agoraphobia isn't a walk in the park, you know.
     
  4. Ladykaza

    Ladykaza Senior commenter

    2 fish in a tank. One says to the other ' do you know how to drive this thing?'
     
    Vladimir, rouxx and teachingking123 like this.
  5. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    What grows up and down?
     
  6. teachingking123

    teachingking123 Established commenter

    Worst joke-
    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Dr
    Doctor Who?
    You just said it
     
  7. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    A goose
     
    AberJaDoch and Dragonlady30 like this.
  8. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    What can go up a chimney down but not down a chimney up?


    An umbrella.
     
  9. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke"
     
  10. colpee

    colpee Star commenter

    She was only a whisky maker's daughter, but I loved her still.
     
    Vince_Ulam and kibosh like this.
  11. rouxx

    rouxx Lead commenter

    Two parrots sitting on a perch.
    "Can you smell fish?"
     
    Dragonlady30 likes this.
  12. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    She was only a butcher's daughter with a finger in every pie.
     
  13. Vladimir

    Vladimir Senior commenter

    My wife went to the West Indies.
    Jamaica?
    No, she went of her own accord.
     
  14. Vladimir

    Vladimir Senior commenter

    I went to a zoo the other day, and there was only one animal there: a dog. It was a Sh1tzu.
     

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