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Tes Problem Page

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Dunteachin, Nov 17, 2016.

  1. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    How will you sit down?
  2. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Har de har! Its a spigure of feech.
  3. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter


    Due to circumstances beyond my control, the following services will be suspended:

    Lotus flower waterfall
    Shanghai slap
    The Kong Hong


    Gloria Spoobs

    Spa Manager
    The Dungeon
  4. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Won't you be picking up extra business with suspension of the Chinese Nookie Factory down the road? What about the pork balls?
    Dunteachin and emerald52 like this.
  5. bevdex

    bevdex Star commenter

    I'd like to share the following mini drama with all the readers of this excellent thread. Picture if you will a slightly frazzled recently retired teacher who has just returned from her first mammogram (that would be me) and her husband (who retired 9 years ago and has been living the life of riley since.)
    Dex: Hello darling, while you were out I cleaned the blue bathroom for you!

    (Now that "for you" hit a raw nerve, but I remembered I'm supposed to be a lady, bared my teeth in a facsimile of a grateful smile and simpered...)

    Me : Thank you darling that was very thoughtful.

    Scene 2 - several hours later after I had the need to visit said blue bathroom.

    Me: I thought you said you'd cleaned the bathroom? The toilet hasn't been cleaned.

    Dex: Oh, I didn't do the TOILET (caps to indicate emphasis and a touch of disdain)

    At this point I abandoned any attempt to conduct myself in a lady-like fashion and let him have it with both barrels.
  6. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    In the context of you needing to visit the bathroom the 'let him have it with both barrels' metaphor made me snigger I have to admit.
  7. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Indeed! I was expecting another sort of explosion...

    But, pray, what did you make of having your boobs squashed flat between two glass plates, bevdex?!
    And how amazing that you haven't had one before now!
    bevdex and Jesmond12 like this.
  8. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    "boobs" .... snigger
    Dunteachin and Jesmond12 like this.
  9. RepelloInimicum

    RepelloInimicum Lead commenter

    You wouldn't be sniggering if it was your appendages that were treated in the manner that Dunty so accurately describes :(
  10. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    Do they warm the glass up first? I was just wondering.
    bevdex and Dunteachin like this.
  11. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    And one's appendages are squashed in so tightly that you'd not escape quickly if a fire alarm went off...
  12. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Oooh! I like a bit of bondage, spices things up!
    Dunteachin likes this.
  13. gergil4

    gergil4 New commenter

    I have a fairly high pain threshold, but i was almost in tears. Bondage it is not. Perhaps, on reflection, the lady operating it all, thought bigger boobs are too soft to hurt when squashed.
  14. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    I rang the swine flu hotline but all I heard was crackling.
  15. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    I remember seeing a BBC TV programme several years ago. Apparently you can only catch SARS on Sunday.
    Dunteachin likes this.
  16. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    I have not visited these pages for a while. Now I know why!
  17. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    As her ladyship Duntitia herself would say "how very dare you"!?
    Dunteachin and Jesmond12 like this.
  18. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    Urgh mammograms are hell. I arrive dosed up with painkillers. Bet blokes would squeal if their crown jewels had that treatment
  19. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    And very why NOT!! You were once a stale wart of these esteemed pages. Nay! The Keeper of Camels!

    Why has thou gone over to the Dark Side of Entertainment, with all their talk of cake and dogs!

    Come back to your rightful place!
  20. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    They would bluddy love it!
    bevdex and emerald52 like this.

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