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Tes Problem Page

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Dunteachin, Nov 17, 2016.

  1. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    I am learning to do my own palmering.
  2. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    Dear Dunt,

    My main problem as I leave Zurich is that I'm bankrupt. As you said that you will be visiting there too, I suggest that you start saving now. Rob a bank. Sell a kidney. Do all three. Everything is absurdly expensive here.

    I'm unable to give you any other insights as I assume that you won't be hanging out in my sister in law's kitchen, which is where we spent most of the time. I can confirm that the alps are both pretty and high.

    Beware of relatively bargain priced guesthouses. The first room we were shown required a ladder to get into it. I was less than impressed so we were moved to a room with a futon that was very, very low and very, very hard. Oddly enough, the bedside light was the tallest lamp that I've ever seen. The landlady warmed up slightly but was downright terrifying on day one.
    bevdex, Dunteachin and agathamorse like this.
  3. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    Mind you don't trip over the gnomes.
  4. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Mein Gott! Vielen Dank, ErsteKatze!

    Meine Tochter will be living in a posh Wohnung that ich kann upshacken in. Sie will be getting a Swiss bank account, und all dat jazz. Wir will leben on Brot und Käse, if wir have to!
  5. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    I understand that a lot of people who work in Geneva actually live over the border in France where it is much cheaper. But this may only be of relevance to cheese smugglers and cuckoo clock makers.
  6. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    My sweetheart has recently taken to reducing the number of bacon sandwiches I enjoy for lunch, replacing them with beans of toast. I noticed she'd put beans on the latest shopping list.

    But then she asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list, which I did, but now she's complaining that having wiped most of the ketchup off, she can't read a bleeding word of her list.

    I'm sure she only does this sort of stuff for the opportunities it creates to have a row.
  7. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Snigger. Your usual standard. (Not that you should be eating ketchup, far too much sugar. And that current advert gets on my mammaries, all you'd ever taste is the ketchup, which is vile, acidic, sugary, probably too salty, and ruins any food it is blobbed on.)
    Dunteachin likes this.
  8. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    Are they like budgie smugglers?

    "Is that a Gruyère in your pants or are you pleased to see me?"

    Bonus alternative joke!

    "Is that a Gruyère in your pants or is your shower broken?"
    bevdex, Dunteachin and primarycat like this.
  9. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Ew! :eek:
    Dunteachin likes this.
  10. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter


    I'm at my country retreat.

    Normal service will resume after the weekend. Don't eat too many eggs.
    bevdex and primarycat like this.
  11. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    OOh Dunty has a country pile...
    bevdex, Dunteachin and primarycat like this.
  12. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Many a true word...:eek:
    bevdex and primarycat like this.
  13. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I trust you'll have an enjoyable time there.

    If you log in again before your return, could you ponder over and give your views on a business enterprise that's been put to me, but I have little knowledge about.

    It's to do with a dog exercising franchise that is claimed by the franchise to be as simple as a walk in the park to run.

    How true do you imagine this to be?
    Dunteachin likes this.
  14. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I'm sure all the Problem Page regulars (and those on daily doses of All Bran) would like to wish you good luck with your UNESCO World Heritage Status application for the joke book @Duke of York - up there with the Lascaux cave paintings eh? Fingers Crossed. :)
  15. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Good Morning, Readers!

    Look at the time! I've been awake since 5.30, to the sound of twirds bittering, so I thought I might get up, make a cup of tea and smash the ears off a chocolate bunny.
    I'd quite like to sit outside, but it's nippy.

    It's going to be another glorious day!

    Wishing you all a most enjoyable Easter Sunday.
  16. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Grrr! I have been woken up by traffic. Where the hell is everybody going at six oclock on Easter Sunday morning? The shops aren't even open! Are they going bunny hunting? Or, as everyone seems to be going into Wales, rather than out of, is there a sheep lovers festival?
    primarycat likes this.
  17. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Sitting on cold stone walls.
    bevdex likes this.
  18. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    Dear Dunty,

    I used to watch Casualty with my sweetheart when it first started, but gave up when I realised it wasn't at all representative of any A&E department I've ever been in.

    However I noticed my sweetheart had it on again tonight. She said it was series 33, but you know what? They were treating a patient we saw in the waiting area in series 1.

    Do you think it might be more realistic than is immediately obvious after all?
    bevdex likes this.
  19. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    How many hours did they have to wait?
  20. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    Scientists are working on breeding cows that produce less methane. Will they be doing the same for people?)

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