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terrified to start trying

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by JWTBH, May 5, 2011.

  1. JWTBH

    JWTBH New commenter

    I've been following the threads here for a while and am finally plucking up the courage to add a topic. I'm hoping to just get some stuff off my chest I think.
    I'm nearly 30 and my partner and I have just discussed starting to try for a baby. The thing is, and I know this is awful, I've actually been very, very lax with my contraception for 2 years. I know this may sound ridiculous but i'm now terrified to start trying because I don't think it's going to happen easily. My partner knows that we've been terrible with contraception for a long time but doesn't seem to understand how hard it is to get pregnant. It worries me that in 2 years, I've never had a pregnancy despite the fact that many times, we have had unprotected sex halfway through my cycle.
    I don't want to come across as ignorant, careless or stupid. I've been in a committed relationship for a long time and have always wanted kids. If it had happened by now, we would have been happy. But it hasn't, and now my boyfriend wants it to happen. I already feel as if I know it's going to be hard and I don't want to be a disappointment to him and to myself. I know this sounds very self-indulgent but...I don't have anyone else to say it to.
    I'm not sure what I'm looking for in terms of a response but would be grateful for any wise words.

    Thank you

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